Ok. I'm getting married in 5 months. We have only just booked a hall for the ceremony/reception. I have my dress, but the girls don't have theirs. Perhaps I'm getting a bit ahead of myself. This is my issue.
I have a 16 yr old sister that wouldn't stop bugging me about being my maid of honor. She's extremely obnoxious and irresponsible. She's young...she does nothing but lie...But, I felt pressured to tell her yes.
We work at the same place. We also live 6 houses down from one another..2 blocks away from where we work. She always ends up getting in trouble when she hangs out with her friends, so when she's not on the clock, she's at the job anyway. I am a childcare provider.
Last saturday, I had a particularly largs bunch of very mean, snobby and rowdy kids. She was working with me that night. One of the kids got on her nerves so bad that she decided to up and leave without telling ANYONE. We had around 18 or so kids.
2006-10-07 16:45:40 · 15 answers · asked by Momma Jette 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Technically, we aren't supposed to have more than 6 kids per caregiver. It was just the two of us. I had the kids for 2 hrs after she left. ( By myself.)
Two days later, she got bored and walked up to work. I was on the clock, and sitting in the room talking with 2 co workers of mine. I look over, and my sister is going through my purse! I swatted her arm and told her to stay out of my stuff. She then proceeded to stand up, cock her hand back as far as possible and smack the holy hell out of me. There were kids present in the room at this time.
She almost got me fired. And, she decided to tell my manager that I smacked her in her face. Which, I didn't.
She hasn't apologized, or even admitted that she was wrong. I don't know if I should keep her as my maid of honor or what?!
To be honest, no one in my family really likes her...I mean, we all love her, but she's just...ugh. A handful to say the least. My fiance doesn't want her in the wedding. Neither do I. What do I do?
2006-10-07 16:54:00 · update #1
Just because she is your sister does not mean she has to be your MOH. She sounds like a spolied brat that gets her way because no one knows how to tell her NO because they dont want a scene caused WHO CARES. She is your sister and she is 16 and will get over it. Do you really want someone that irresposible holding the rings, being incharge of your emergency kit, (there are ACTUAL responsibilities to being MOH) She cant even go out anywhere to enjoy a bachlorette party she is supposed to host for you. This is EXACTLY what I would say to her
Sis, you know I love you but sometimes I just cannot trust you and your irresponsible decisions have caused me to change my mind about you being in the wedding. I have asked ( ) to be my maid of honor because she is honest, caring, and has been a good friend to me for a very long time and we have been through a lot together. Right now your behavior is too immature for me to consider trusting you with all the responsibilites.
She will more than likely throw a fit and say things like, "I am your sister! Doesnt that mean anything to you? What do you mean I'M immature, you have no clue what you are talking about! Fine I dont even want to be in your stupid wedding anyway, I wont even go!
Let her throw her temper tantrum and dont worry about it. DO NOT GIVE IN to that behavior, people only treat them the way you let them. Printing a list of the MOH duties might help you both realize that someone else is better suited for it. Good luck
2006-10-07 17:02:42 · answer #1 · answered by Sarah J 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Insane! She would be sooo out of the wedding party if I were you. You didn't want her to be maid of honour in the first place, so you shouldn't have been pressured into having her. It's your perogative whom you want as your maid of honour/bridesmaids.... She's only a little kid (16 years old) ... I'm not too sure how old you are, but maybe if anything I would have chosen a child that young to be a junior bridesmaid if anything. You guys really don't sound all that close either. In my wedding, my really good friend and I had always talked about being each others maid of honours when we were younger, but now that I am to be married, I asked her to be a bridesmaid, because I wanted another close friend and her husband to be our maid of honour and best man. It's something you should let your soon to be husband in on as well, if he doesn't want her in it, and neither do you, I think that's your answer right there. Don't let yourself be pressured into it. Good luck!
Also, for the child care situation - How is she even able to work with you in a child care facility at the age of 16? I suspect it isn't licenced and no early childhood education was needed to secure this job. Get her out of there, irrisponsible little girl. I wouldn't want someone like that watching my child. And also, lying to your boss, very bad etiquite!
2006-10-08 10:55:44 · answer #2 · answered by Kass 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is your sister, so you don't have to walk on eggshells around her, sit her down and have a good heart to heart talk with her. Let her know that she hurt your feelings terribly and that you will not allow her to ever put a hand on you again. Simply tell her that you are not children anymore and that you expect an apology from her. If she refuses, then you need to tell her that she is not welcome anywhere near you until she takes responsibility for her actions and apologizes to you. I wouldn't mention the wedding, at least not for now. You've already told her that she is your bridemaid, so you'd better hope that she realizes that her actions were way out of line, and apologizes. If she is as immature as she sounds, it sounds like you will have to ask someone else to stand beside you on your special day. Some siblings go through periods where they are not close at all and then mature and become the closest of friends.Good luck to you both, because a sister should be a forever friend.
2006-10-08 03:45:25 · answer #3 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I would sit down with my sister and tell her you don't want her to be your maid of honor. (I assume you have a better friend who you'd like to take that position.) It is an important conversation, both for you, and more importantly, for your sister. She has to start understanding that her behavior has consequences. If you can tell her that you love her, but that you don't like it when she (list here the things she does that are immature, irresponsible and annoying). It may seem harsh, but if she never learns what she looks like to others, she'll continue going blindly through life thinking that her actions work and are OK. This will help her, really.
Your wedding is a wonderful and symbolic event that should reflect your beliefs and values. That means you should plan it with integrity and honesty. You need to make sure you have the people there in the roles that you're happy with.
Good luck with everything.
2006-10-07 23:54:15 · answer #4 · answered by Thomas C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would make her a bride maid. Just tell her that the maid of honner has alot of responibilties, and she just can;t preform them all. You don't even have to say she is illresponible. It can be about her age too. How the maid of honor will ahveto do alot of erinds, and she wont be able to do it. Exsamples maybe such as driving, picking up achohal, those things. Or tell her the truth.
She should be in the wedding, because she is your sister and family. Many women have a few brides maids, so make her one of those. Give her something.
I hope the wedding goes well and you and your husband have a happy and loving marrage.
2006-10-07 23:57:02 · answer #5 · answered by quest 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm getting married next July and I have a sister who is almost 15. I have her as a bridesmaid but not maid of honor. I honestly feel that she is too young to know enough about marriage and be my anchor on the biggest day of my life.
Do you want her has a birdesmaid? I would just explain to her that you love her and you want her part of the day and would be honored if she is a bridesmaid. If she has a problem with that then she really is being a brat. It's your day and you should surround yourself with positive people.
Good Luck!!
2006-10-07 23:52:49 · answer #6 · answered by glamr216 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's YOUR wedding do what you want have who YOU want in the bridal party. YOU and YOUR husband (to-be)are what the whole day is about. if you feel you have to inclued her have her hand out bubbles or rice or what ever after the wedding. But the maid of honor is someone who you can trust who will take care of the things you forget because she loves you
she is your right hand at getting threw the whole wedding thing. and remember IT'S YOUR WEDDING
2006-10-08 04:01:05 · answer #7 · answered by NRG 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't let her be in the wedding. Ask her to man the guestbook, or something like that, that way, if she skips out in the middle, no one would really know and you woulnd't have to stress about her doing something really dumb.
She'll probably get mad at you for a while, but she sounds really bratty and self-centered, so she probably wanted to do it more for the sake of saying 'I'm going to be a maid of honor' than that she wanted to stand up for you at your wedding.
2006-10-07 23:51:47 · answer #8 · answered by Queen Queso 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You answered you own question...you don't want her at the wedding then don't invite her. this is your day and you want it to be as perfect as possible. if this includes leaving her immature butt out then oh well. she doesn't deserve to be your maid of honor. come on..deep down you know she will ruin it. being a maid of honor is for someone who you feel has been there for you and is your best friend not someone you feel obligated to.
2006-10-08 00:41:41 · answer #9 · answered by sweettee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding. If you have a close friend or another relative you would prefer to be your maid of honor, thats your choice. You aren't obligated to have a selfish sibling be right beside you in your wedding.
2006-10-07 23:52:01 · answer #10 · answered by Jadeba12 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋