The age old question.. Do you tell yuor bestfriend your in love with her and risk losing her friendship??

Question

We've been friends for awhile now and I dont know what to do. She's soo beautiful, and I watch every guy hit on her everywhere we go and when they get what they want I'm there to cry on my shoulder. See I really know her, how smart and funny and special she really is. But after telling me about the new guy last night its killing me a little on the inside. So I just know she doesnt feel the same way and I just dont want to lose her friendship, but do i risk it??

Answer 1

If you really are in love with her, you have already lost your friendship, do you see what I mean? You cannot be happy for her with anyone else because you want to be with her yourself. You cannot be the supportive caring friend anymore because you are not really supportive. I'm sure you are secretly very happy when things don't work out for her and new guys, right?

That being said, as you have already lost the friendship (it's really just a facade now, isn't it?), the only thing you can do is tell her how you feel. Ask her if she would consider dating you. She may say yes, most likely she will say no as she could have dated you when you first met and there is probably a reason she didn't.

It would be better for you to tell her because
1. She may say yes, or she may not end your friendship (as long as you keep cool about it)
2. If she does say no, it may be the kick in the a*ss that you need to stop pining over her and get on with your life

Answer 2

Think you gotta ask yourself a few key questions. Do you want the friendship more ultimately? Do you think that you can handle more of her crying on your shoulder? Do you think that if this were out in the open and she wasn't able to return your feelings, things would get weird from your end or hers?

I think it is great to get this out in the open if you think the relationship can handle it. She may already know. If you decide that you can handle being friends with her whatever her reaction is, then let her know how you feel, that you would like something to happen but understand if it doesn't, and there is no pressure or threat that the friendship should change if she can't return your feelings.

Sounds like you are young so things may change over time as she comes to want her lover to be her best friend.

Answer 3

I would say "ask her!" But I would first mention that after listening to her when all the others have failed, that you feel you could be good for each other if she is interested. My late husband and I were really great friends, and when the time came he asked me on a date and I said okay!We had 2 beautiful children and 9 wonderful years as man and wife. Being best friends enabled us to be honest with each other. I will admit that I was hesitant to go out on a "Date" because I loved him and was worried about losing the one person I could count on. But as they say, nothing ventured nothing gained! And a true friendship will withstand the ups and downs!
Love Peace and JOY!

Answer 4

do you risk loseing her friendship by allowing her to know your true feelings or do you risk loseing your soul mate by not ever telling her.It sounds to me from what I am able to read that you really feel that she is one of the best things that have came into your life.I think that its best if you just tell her, dont hide anything from her what if she feel's the same way about you but also is scared of loseing what you two already share? dont make yourself sit and wander throughout your everyday living what could it of been like between the two of you..i wish you all the luck in the world and i hope you find the courage to tell her your true feelings...

Answer 5

You were in the exact situation as I was. When I told my best friend who I knew my entire life that I liked her, she acted wierd at first. I told her that I liked her and we "dated", just because she didn't want to hurt my feeling, then we broke up. A year later she asked me out and I said "yes" and she broke up with me for the same exact reason. For the past 2 years she fell for two guys (we talk as if I never told her) and she tells me all about these two. The thing is, this year I ended up in the same class as both of them!!! She tells me everything about theses two, now just one, and it rips my heart out too. My advice is to tell her, eventually you will be able to talk to her without any wierd vibes. That is an advice from someone with expierence. I hope it works out for you! Good luck!

Answer 6

As much as I hate to tell you..... I dont think there is a way you can avoid the risk.

If you tell her that you like her.... and she feels the same way... GREAT!.
If you tell her and she doesn't.... she may forever be uncomfortable around you.

It is a risk you need to decide if you are willing to take. It may pay off...

Answer 7

Sorry dude. She doesn't feel the same way and if you do tell her, you'll lose her. This is indeed an age old dilemma. Seen it happen too many times, to me and others.
If she were interested in the slightest, you'd know.

Answer 8

depends on if she's accepting or not. if she rejects u it'll never be the same, even if u become friends again, but then again, she might say yes, and u'll never know what she will say if u dont tell her. also try to start out with a retorical question

Answer 9

I'd say... go for it man.. but just let her know that you're not afraid of losing your friendship.. and that if it will bother her to be around you after.. then she's not a true friend... I told my best friend that I liked her.. and she still talks to me...

Answer 10

ok first of all if your a girl...i wont even say. if your a guy, surprise one day when you r @ the mall or movie. Just tell her. My boyfriend & i have been going out for a year now, and we started out as best friends.