What are ur fav. dark and sarcastic quotes....the ones when ur days have gone to hell and back and u just can't help but smile, when u hear them...??? Could be made up or said by someone b4...
2006-10-07 16:44:03 · 23 answers · asked by Maggz 4 in Education & Reference ➔ Quotations
An opportunity missed is an opportunity lost.
Anything worth doing is worth doing well.
Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.
Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt.
Build a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door.
Carpe diem. [Seize the day.]
Curiosity killed the cat; satisfaction brought it back.
Choose your friends carefully; your enemies will choose you.
Close only counts in horseshoes and hand-grenades.
Cogito, ergo sum. [I think, therefore I am.]
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Experience teaches.
Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.
For the want of a nail, the shoe was lost;
For the want of a shoe, the horse was lost;
For the want of a horse, the rider was lost;
For the want of a rider, the battle was lost;
For the want of a battle, the kingdom was lost:
And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.
Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration.
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime.
God helps those who help themselves.
He who hesitates is lost.
If at first you don't succeed - try, try again.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
If the mountain won't come to Mohammed, Mohammed will go to the mountain.
If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
If you try to please all, you will please none.
It ain't over 'til the fat lady sings.
It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
It is easier to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
It's an ill wind that blows nobody good.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight; it's the size of the fight in the dog.
It's not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game.
It's your attitude not your aptitude that determines your altitude in life.
Judge not, lest ye be judged.
Keep your nose to the grindstone.
Knowledge is power.
Live each day as though it were your last.
Many hands make light work.
Necessity is the mother of invention.
Never look a gift horse in the mouth.
No pain, no gain.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Once is chance, twice is coincidence; but three times is conspiracy.
One good turn deserves another.
One man's trash is another man's treasure.
Opportunity knocks but once.
O wad some Pow'r the giftie gie us/ To see oursels as others see us. [Robert Burns, ‘To A Louse’]
Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.
Procrastination is the thief of time.
Que sera, sera. [Whatever will be, will be.]
Rolling stones gather no moss.
Rome wasn't built in a day.
Second place is the first loser.
$h!t happens.
Shortcuts make for long delays.
Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them. [Shakespeare’s ‘Twelfth Night’]
Something too good to be true always is.
Soonest begun, soonest done.
Straighten up and fly right.
Strike while the iron is hot.
Take care of the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves.
Tend your own garden and let others tend theirs.
That which does not destroy me only makes me stronger.
The bigger they are, the harder they fall.
The difficult we do immediately; the impossible just takes a little longer.
The early bird catches the worm.
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
The longest journey begins with but a single step.
The love of money is the root of all evil.
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
The only truly consistent people are the dead.
There, but for the grace of God, go I.
There's a sucker born every minute, and two to take him.
There's more than one way to skin a cat.
The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.
The smallest deed is worth more than the grandest intention.
The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
The wind from one door closing opens another.
This above all: To thine own self be true. [Shakespeare’s ‘Hamlet’]
Those who can, do; those who can't, teach; and those who can't teach, lecture.
Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat its mistakes.
Time and tide wait for no man.
To err is human; to forgive, divine.
To the victor go the spoils.
To whom much is given, much is required.
Turnabout is fair play.
Two wrongs don't make a right. (But three lefts do!)
United we stand, divided we fall.
Unity is strength.
Waste not, want not.
What can't be cured must be endured.
Whatsoever a man soweth, he shall also reap.
What's right isn't always popular, and what's popular isn't always right.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.
When the cat's away, the mice will play.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
When you go out on a limb, be sure you don't chop it off behind you.
Winners are grinners.
Winners don't quit and quitters don't win.
Winning isn't everything, but losing isn't anything.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You can fool some of the people all of the time, or all of the people some of the time; but you can't fool all of the people, all of the time.
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.
You can't be too careful.
You can't take it with you.
You can't teach an old dog new tricks.
You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.
You snooze, you lose.
You talk the talk, but can you walk the walk?
You win some, you lose some.
Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility upon him and to let him know that you trust him."
Those who want to live, let them fight, and those who do not want to fight in this world of eternal struggle do not deserve to live."
Knowledge is in the end based on acknowledgement
Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit."
The further I get from the things that I care about, the less I care about how much further away I get.
The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget."
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."
"Opportunity is rare, and a wise man will never let it go by him."
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done."
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear
"Not by age but by capacity is wisdom acquired."
It is well that there is no one without a fault, for he would not have a friend in the world: He would seem to belong to a different species
"Progress comes from the intelligent use of experience."
Nothing is more terrible than ignorance in action."
"Right actions for the future are the best apologies for wrong ones in the past]
Opportunity’s favorite disguise is trouble
"Happiness is someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for
Never forget what a man says to you when he is angry
"If you will please people, you must please them in their own way."
A man may be so much of everything that he is nothing of anything
One half the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other."
The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we have of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us."
The task of the artist at any time is uncompromisingly simple -– to discover what has not yet been done, and to do it."
Doesn't matter where i got it. I earned it and what matters is what i do with it.
...I've got a million sayings!
2006-10-07 16:47:54 · answer #1 · answered by emad07306 3 · 3⤊ 3⤋
Quotes
It’s not brave, if you’re not scared.
There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.
Art is a lie that enables us to see the truth.
Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger.
A person cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.
To do good things in the world, first you must know who you are and what gives meaning to your life.
Be who you are, and say what you feel. Because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.
~Dr. Suess
If you always do what you always did, you will always get where you always got.
There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. ~Albert Einstein
A true friend is there for you when he’d rather be anywhere else. ~Len Wein
The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. ~Elizabeth Foley
Friends are people who help you be more yourself. ~Merle Shain
To love at all is to be vulnerable. ~ C.S. Lewis
I hold it true, whate’er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; ‘Tis better to have loved and lost; Than never to have loved at all. ~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson
There is a great deal of pain in life and perhaps the only pain that can be avoided is the pain that comes from trying to avoid pain. ~ R.D. Laing
An is is just a was that was and that is very small… and is is was so soon it almost wasn’t is at all. For is is only is until it is a was-you see… And as an is advances- to remain an is can’t be ‘cause if it is to stay an is it isn’t is because another is is where it was and is is then a was. ~ Tom Hicks
Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced.
~ James Baldwin
Your chances of success in any undertaking can always be measured by your belief in yourself. ~ Robert Collier
To accomplish great things, we must not only act but also dream, not only dream but also believe. ~ Anatole France
Presence is more than just being there. ~ Malcolm Forbes
2006-10-08 14:39:54 · answer #2 · answered by wingnutrosie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MY FAV SARCASTIC ONES:
"When god made me, he was just showing off!"
"Walk a mile in other people's shoes; You'll be a mile ahead and you'll have their shoes too!!"
"I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter"
"You are the reasons contraceptors were invented"
"What is that ugly growth above your neck?"
"If at first you do succeed , try not to be astonished!"
"He who laughs last, thinks slowest"
THESE ARE MY FAV SERIOUS ONES:
"I am not afraid of storms ; for i am learning how to sail my ship"
"The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears"
" It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all"
"Reach for the stars, even if you have to stand on a cactus"
"Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there;Ido not sleep.
I am the thousand winds that blow;
I am the diamond glint on snow"
THE LAST ONE ACTUALLY GOES ON A LITTLE LONGER BUT I DONT FEEL LIKE WRITIN THE WHOLE THING NOW
I HOPE YOU ENJOY READIN THESE!
2006-10-08 05:07:58 · answer #3 · answered by drishti p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Deja fu: The feeling that some how, some way you have been kicked in the head like this before.
Salmon Day: Battling against the stream all day, only to get screwed in the end.
Knowledge is power, power corrupts, therefore smart people are evil.
High explosives are applicable, when truth and logic fail.
following dialog from the Late 90'searly 00's WB Lone Ranger movie:
Tonto: What is this we are doing?(as he and the Ranger Macgyver some explosives)
Ranger: This is chemstry, when it blows up, that is physics.
2006-10-08 08:39:33 · answer #4 · answered by janssen411 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Our Lord commonly giveth Riches to such gross asses, to whom he affordeth nothing else that is good.
Author: Martin Luther KingSource: Colloquies (p. 90), (ed. 1652)
The pride of dying rich raises the loudest laugh in hell. Author: John W. Foster
Have patience and endure; this unhappiness will one day be beneficial. [Lat., Perfer et obdura; dolor hic tibi proderit olim.] Author: Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso)
I never give them hell; I just tell them the truth and they think it is hell. Author: Harry S. Truman
Proverbs 9:13-18
13A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing.
14For she sitteth at the door of her house, on a seat in the high places of the city,
15To call passengers who go right on their ways:
16Whoso is simple, let him turn in hither: and as for him that wanteth understanding, she saith to him,
17Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.
18But he knoweth not that the dead are there; and that her guests are in the depths of hell.
........
i love the bible...its so poetic (and prophetic! )
2006-10-07 21:38:03 · answer #5 · answered by kimandchris2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I even have 2.. a million)Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling somebody stupid does not make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George's existence easily did no longer make me any happier. All you're able to do in existence is attempt to unravel the subject in front of you. -recommend females 2)Gymnastics tells you no. All day long. It mocks you back and back back. Telling you- you're an fool. in case you like pulling products of pores and skin the size of quarters of your palms- bars is for you. because of the fact the only component extra relaxing then rips, is while your rips get rips. it quite is super appropriate. And floor, are you severe, who does not prefer to parade around in a leotard getting wedgies and doing dorky choreography. in case you like falling, then gymnastics is the sport for you! You get to fall on your face, your ***, your back, your knees, and you're satisfaction! it quite is a competent component i did no longer like falling- I enjoyed IT! -Stick it
2016-10-15 23:13:48 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start each day with a smile and get it over with
Children in the back seat cause accidents, Accidents in the back seat cause children
2006-10-07 18:34:27 · answer #7 · answered by Bunny 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont know if this qualifies as a dark/sarcastic quote, but here goes:
once every hundred thousand years or so
when the sun doth shine
and the moon doth glow
and the grass doth grow.....
~tenacious d
its the best. i think im gonna make it my senior yearbook quote.
i just like it because it can be talking about anything. i mean, in the song, they're talking about a demon, but just those lines, they can mean anything.
2006-10-07 16:46:52 · answer #8 · answered by need 2 get a grip 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have three... :)
What progress we are making. In the Middle Ages they would have burned me. Now they are content with burning my books.
~Sigmund Freud, 1933
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax - tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
~Pearl Williams
Divorce; from the Latin term meaning to rip out a man's wallet through his balls.
~Robin Williams
2006-10-07 16:47:11 · answer #9 · answered by pantera 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
"The bird that would soar above the level plain of tradition and prejudice, must have strong wings"
"It's better to WAKE UP afterall.....even to suffer. Rather than to remain a dupe to illusions all one's life..."
2006-10-08 10:05:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋