Why is my dad so strict?

Question

Before my dad married my new step-mother He really didnt mind what i did. I was an A-B student never drank smoked or any thing so he really trusted me. Now she lives he...and i can be on the phone past 9 can only go out 1 day a week. i have to wear big clothes because thats what she wears and their excuse is that Im top heavy. My step mom is kinda chubby, and now my dad calls me fat. Before they got married he was at her house til almost sun-rise leaving me all alone, now he wont let me stay home by my self. Im almost 17 and i can do hardly any thing. (only 573 days until im 18...YES)haha. Any ideas how i can get him to be less stricted? oh yea Ive tried talking to him....he gets angry.

I cant live w/ my mother she is well, I wont say. I am a total good girl...never had sex drank smoked got high, ect. I CANT talk to my father already tried he just gets mad and I get grounded. I keep my mouth shut all the time because i open it and i get my one day of freedom taken away.....

Answer 1

Sounds like your dad has taken some influences on your step mom. I know you said that you've already spoken to your dad about this issues...but you really need to keep the lines of commication open or you will start to have mixed feelings about your dad.

You know it could be that your step-mother is jealous of you too...I mean if you're 17 years old...you're probably coming out of your shell...in other words, your blossoming into a young woman.

You need to tell your dad how you feel. But in the meantime you need to continue to be an A-B student this way you can fall back on this conversation and tell your dad that you're holding down your part and making good grades.

If you were my daughter...you would be able to do just about anything in my household as long as you maintained those grades. Of course anything means within reason.

But back to your problem...you need to talk to them both at the same time...this way your step mother won't accuse you of putting words in her mouth. Talk to them straight and let them know that you'd like a little more freedom. Also tell your dad to refrain from calling you fat...tell him that's hurtful.

Sweetie...I wish you good luck. You sound like a an intelligent young lady...just talk to them...

Good Luck & God Bless.

Answer 2

When a new parent comes into the home, it is hard for them to realize that unless they got there when you were not much over 7, that they will not be successful in disiplining. That bond forms very early. It may well be that she is jealous. Adults do that too. Just because we are over 30, we in no way have all of the answers. My daughter was big busted, but I never restricted her clothes, as long as they were proper. Not trashy. You don't get to pick your chest size and should not be punished for that. Is your mom still in your life? Daughters, really need their moms. Especially at your age. You said it, you will turn 18 in a short time. You will be an adult, and expected to act like one. Talk to your mom, an older sister, a friend around your moms age, a female, anyone who can fill that final step with all of the info you need. Perhaps she can then approach your dad about things. Sometimes parents just won't be ready or able to accept your breaking away if it comes from you. Another adult could talk to him on his level and come to bat for you.
I know your dad is being hard on you, but try to get through it by telling yourself that he is doing what he is doing out of love. Maybe taking the wrong approach, but out of love. You will probably have a better relationship with your step mother later in your life. If you even want that.
Can you put up with his behaviour for a few more months to keep peace? So it will be easier on him? Only you know that but trust me, you will have to do a whole lot of it as an adult.
He is more than likely letting his new wife set the rules as she sees fit, and you are too old for that. And it is also most likely a jealousy issue, because of your age, and physical beauty. About being fat, you aren't. I don't care how much you weigh. You are his child, and you really are beautiful in his eyes. And if you feel beautiful, you will appear that way to others.
I hope things open up a bit more for you and that you get an answer that will truely help you.

Answer 3

lol, sounds like my life in HS. Not so much the strictness, but the new woman set the rules and my dad didn't have an opinion but hers. I know you said you can't talk to your dad, but what about your step mom? Explain that you were left alone almost all night when they were dating and now you feel extremely restricted. Offer a compromise that you know she would be willing to meet and that you could live with. No calls after 10 during the week, 11 on the weekends. Allowed to go out during the week, but be home by 9 on school nights and 12 on weekends. These are examples, if your times are earlier then push it out an hour or so. Don't whine, don't beg- go to her as a young adult looking for a little freedom by compromising.

Answer 4

Sounds like your dad was a tad irresponsible while he was dating this woman and is now trying to make up for it.

Tell him that you've noticed some changes around the house/ rules changing with no explanation, etc.. and see if he will talk to you about it. (Make sure you point out that you are still the same person you were before he married this woman)

If he won't talk to you/gets mad tell him you think that you should all go see a counselor together. If the way he treats you has seriously changed like you are explaining, it couldn't hurt!

Good Luck!

Answer 5

for now enjoy the strictness he may have prevented you going down the wrong road, or kept you from becoming pregnant, who knows,, in 573 days you can go crazy or use the caution you father has instilled in you i hope by now,, as for his calling you fat,,i think he is trying to get you to feel less sure of your self, chances are your very attractive and if you have low self esteem , then your less likely to go out and get pregnant

Answer 6

That sucks! but don't let your step mom rule your life, tour old enough to make your own decisions. Maybe you should talk to your dad, or just wait till your 18 and move out as fast as you can!
Good Luck!!!!!

Answer 7

Can you live with your real mom?

is that a possibility?

THis probably has to do with your step mom. You could maybe talk wioth your school couselor but, look, They are probably going to take your parents' side

I've had freinds and myself when we were growing up with theses same type of problems.

I'm 27 now

Answer 8

you need to let your dad and step mom both know how you feel with out getting upset. Maybe if you sat down with your step mom and explained how you felt she might be more understanding and she might be able to talk to your dad and make him understand. GOOD LUCK

Answer 9

I don't know ur step mom seems to have a lot to do with it,tho!!

Answer 10

Just do your thing. It's not an issue.