My 4 year old doesn't want to go to my Mother-in-laws?.....?

Question

Okay, this is such a hard situation for my family. My mother in law has tuesday, wednesday and thursday off of work and usually picks up one of my children every week. She has been rotating. However, my daughter who is four pitches a fit at the daycare and makes up reasons why she doesn't want to go... (my mommy didn't pack my bag, etc), Well I packed her bag and talked to her about it the next day and she ran away from my mother in law. I think my mother in law thinks I am saying somthing to her??? Which I would NEVER do. I talk my mother in law up in front of the kids and tell my daughet it hurts my feelings when she pitches a fit to go with her grandma??? I feel that they (my husband and mother in law) need to understand she is a typical four year old and stop reading into it... but they seem to think that there is somthing wrong? help

Answer 1

I would try and talk to your daughter privately and find out why she doesn't want to go. Is she afraid of the dog? Did she see something that scared her the last time she was there? If nothing seems to be wrong then it's probably just a phase. I definitely wouldn't force her to go. Your mother-in-law is just going to have to understand.

My 3-year-old never wants to go to my mother's. Recently my Mom called and told him she found lots of fun toys in a box in her attic, so he had a change of heart, spent the night, and didn't even want to talk to me on the phone when I called to check in. So now you can tell your mother-in-law you've talked to other moms and they're having the same problem so she doesn't think it's just her!

Answer 2

Well it could be nothing or she really isn't happy going to grandma's house! My four year old was recently doing the same thing and I didn't think much of it but I finally sat down with him ALONE and asked him to tell me why he doesn't want to go. He told me because he always has to take a nap! I thought that was absurd but I looked into it and I found that the babysitter though I trusted her very much, would get tired of him talking so much, that she would make him lay down and take a nap at least twice in the 6 hours she had him!! Children may or may not have fits like without a reason but your child deserves for you to protect her feelings at the least. Yes, it makes you and your Mother-in law uncomfortable but look at it from your daughters eyes she's uncomfortable going there and needs mommy to be caring and attentive even if her reason isn't life threatening!! Be supportive of your daughter!

Answer 3

If she does not want to go to her grandmothers house she migt have a good reason. Maybe grandma is too mean to her... Children are very smart and they have a certain feeling about certain people and parents should try to figure out what it is.

My children do not like to be around my mother in law because she is boring and she always have something negative to say about everyone including them. I am not too crazy about her myself this is the reason I keep my children away... Talk to your daughter find out why she is that way with grandma and she will tell you... (Good Luck)!!!!

Answer 4

There IS something wrong...you're allowing a 4 year old to control the situation. You don't have to EXPLAIN anything to your child. You simply tell her that on such and such a day she is going to go with her grandmother and there will be not throwing of fits. If she does throw a fit there will be no privliges, treats, fun, for her for the rest of the week and stick to it. Either YOU as the parent are in control or your child is, which is it going to be?

Answer 5

I would definitely talk to her about why she doesn't want to go to grandma's. Maybe someone was at your mother-in-law's house and did something to her. Maybe your mother-in-law spanked her or made her angry somehow. It could be something as simple as that. My niece was acting really weird around my sister's boyfriend a long time ago and come to find out he had spanked her and she got really angry about it. Talk to your daughter and reassure her. Good Luck!

Answer 6

Your mother in law might have total different techniques to you and your daughter does not like it .... I had the same happen to me with my daughter and mother in law. It all came down to the parenting techniques ... No child likes to be smacked and yelled at ... (my mother in-law). We always came to logger heads over parenting I have never disciplined my children in the old days fashion, I myself have made the choice to do it positively .. repetitiveness,love,patience and understanding.

Answer 7

I doubt you did anything wrong, but something may have happened either between your daughter and your mother-in-law (or someone else in her house), or maybe you were late picking her up one day and she has anxiety it is going to happen again. You need to talk to her and try to find out what is going on...

Answer 8

try to talk to your mother-in-law, or speak to your 4 year old, is a lot of things that your daughter might not say, and something is happening in your in-laws home. so i will say to you as a parent take good care of your children.

Answer 9

Maybe something is wrong. Your 4 year old could have good reasons for not liking your mother in law. Maybe she is mean to her.

Answer 10

Believe your child. She doesn't want to go because something is not right at grandma's house. Let somebody else (not family, maybe someone she trust at the daycare) ask her why she refuses to go to Grandma. Something is WRONG.