quite i few of the girls around me have called me good-looking, cute, etc. i'm 5'10", black culry hair, and well-built and play sports. i'm shy around girls who i think are cute, but opne and free aroudn those i don't. however, i mainly talk to guys and have many more guy friends than friends who ae girls. i'm not really a dancer. i'm well-read and educated, but i just find it hard to make the iniative and ask girls out, especially if i don't know if they like me or not. most of the girls who thought i was cute have bf's now b/c or not b/c i never asked them out. can someone plz give me some advice?
2006-10-07 14:54:04 · 7 answers · asked by bob j 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i was raised in a house where my father rarely, if ever, showed affection towards my mother, making it harder for me to show affection towards girls.
2006-10-07 15:12:05 · update #1
Don't stress over it. If you're being truthful about your looks and interests, someone is bound to come along. There are probably women who like you in your immediate vicinity-- you're just not looking in the right direction.
This whole "push to have a relationship" thing is a drag in my opinion. Relationships are highly overrated. It's a better idea to pursue your goals and enjoy your time by yourself and with your friends, and not worry about having a girlfriend.
2006-10-07 15:00:30 · answer #1 · answered by Scarlett_156 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, I can really identify with the situation you are describing. Good for you for recognizing your challenges this early in life and trying to do something about them. This first step is the most important one. Without having met you, it appears that you may be unconsciously superimposing distorted and destructive patterns of thinking onto your dating and courtship situations. It is a difficult rut to be in, but the good news is that, once you learn to recognize those patterns of thinking, you for the most part have a choice whether you want to continue to follow them or to let them go. It will take effort and perserverence. You are probably too close to the situation to analyze it objectively and honestly. I'd suggest you seek some sort of assistance, be it the advice of a good friend or professional counseling. Yeah, yeah, yeah, counseling has an undeserved stigma, but I suspect you would go to a phsycial therapist or a doctor if you had a physiological or medical issue to work through, even if you weren't "sick." The good news is that it appears that you generally have your act together and are basically healthy, but you just might need a litle bit of help recoginzing and letting go of some unproductive beliefs, patterns and habits you have inherited but outgrown from childhood.
One other thing you might want to try is on-liine dating. Go with one of the respectable sites like match.com. One nice thing is that you know everyone on the site is looking to date. It might also be helpful for you to have to relate to women in terms of expressing yourself in writing and taking the initiative to organize dates. Another advantage is that it might allow you to meet people totally outside of your current circle of friends and acquaintances, which can be helpful because they won't approach you with the same expecations based on your prior relationships and behavior.
Good luck.
2006-10-07 22:23:25 · answer #2 · answered by Didgeridude 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not the end of the world and try not to feel bad because you're inexperienced. If you are interested in someone and you have a good feeling they may be interested you could just ask them to go shopping with you....girls favorite thing to do! Then when you're there go get something to eat and then invite them to do something else with you. Whatever it is...make it fun and light-hearted. It'll probably lead up to a real date soon. I know it's hard and you're shy but ask yourself "what have I got to lose" as it is now not really too much BUT you have everything to gain....a great friendship that could lead to something more!
2006-10-07 22:04:54 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man, keep this up, and you will never have a date.
No one knows, until they ask, if a girl will accept a date invitation. It's not likely that they are just going to announce that they wanta date with you.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
What have you got to gain by staying afraid of rejection? You are just as rejected without their help!
2006-10-07 22:00:17 · answer #4 · answered by seeitmiway32 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pick a cute girl and work on making her a friend. She will just be your test case with opening up to cute girls. If something happens, great, otherwise it is good practice
2006-10-07 22:00:56 · answer #5 · answered by read c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well come to the world of chicks.
First of all when you talk to a girl that likes you treat her as a friend just when you met one of your friends.
what ever is your mind say it but in a natural way. once you gain friendship with any girl the your shyness is gone, why? because you already gained confidence
2006-10-07 22:04:47 · answer #6 · answered by Pink Panther 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girls like confidence, and guys who compliment them, just do it in a frendly way at first then just tell that person you like her.... its a lot easier for guys to do it, so just remember girls expect a guy to approach them.
2006-10-07 22:13:53 · answer #7 · answered by Lor 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋