My son is started to get really attached to me. If someone else is holding him and I'm around he'll fuss or cry and reach out for me (which makes me feel really bad for the person holding him) and when I leave him places he screams when I leave...As much as I love knowing that he wants to be with me, I would like for him to not be so upset with me leaving him. I'm a full time college student in my last year. I leave him with my parents every day while I'm class so it's something I though he'd get use to...but it's been 2 months now and he's not. I know this is very common and a normal phase for a child to go through....but ss there anything I can try with him to help him with this? Anything that worked for any of you? ....by the way...he turns a year old in 2 weeks..I hear this is about the right age for this stage...
2006-10-07 14:50:44 · 15 answers · asked by Jessica 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Just to answer some question. I'm not a single parent. But my husband is a contractor so he works crazy hours...7am till whenever he's done for the day which can sometime be 4 and other time be 9 or 10 at night. My parents are wonderful with my son and are very good about trying to keep his routine and discipline/reward him the way it's done at my house. Thank you for all the wonderful answers!
2006-10-08 04:02:59 · update #1
This is super normal. Something I found that worked most of the time though was getting to my mom's a little earlier, half an hour or so, and starting an activity Playdoh worked best. Play for a while and then while he's involved you can make your exit. Make sure to say goodbye though, I've seen parents try to slip out unnoticed which makes the separation anxiety worse. This phase should pass soon but may return between 18 and 20 months or so. Until then let people who are holding him know that it's not personal but just a phase. Don't feel bad!
2006-10-07 14:59:32 · answer #1 · answered by momogriff 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's getting worse because you are leaving him too much at too young of an age.
children need security more than anything and the feeling that you are going to come back.
Just being strait with you: Your kid needs to be reassured and confident that you are not going to leave.
You may be spending too much time away from your son when he is at a very young age.
Why don't you take less classes or put less hours in, he in only going to be this young for so long and then it's over, you want to be the one raising him and giving him the love he needs.
Your kid needs you right now, he needs your attention and he's feeling abandoned and insecure.
Also, have you considered the way he's being treated by whomever you are leaving him with?
It may not be that good for him.
He misses you.
I know you might be offended by this. I seriously hope not. I'm calling it as I see it.
He doesn't like who you're leaving him with, he feels insecure because you are making him feel that way, You need to search your soul to find that answer.
He's not a puppy, he's your child.
I just want to say that I have two children and
my kids are four and two. Neither one of them flipped out when I left. I think I can remember one or two times my two and a half year old cried when I left, then he stopped crying the minute I was gone.
My kids had just about ZERO separation anxiety. Separation anxiety must be something common in moms who spend many hours away from their children and not much time making it up.
I don't know who would say that kids don't remember or it doesn't matter.
The first few years of a child's life are the most important formative years, emotional growth....
2006-10-07 15:05:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes its about that time they act like that. At this age children become very attached to there parents, they feel like if u leave them for a second that u are actually LEAVING them.its a security thing. The only thing u can do about this is just let him cry it out. I know its probably hard for u to do but thats the only way he will get used to the people u leave him with or with the people that hold him. Even if u are around and someone else is holding him and he starts screaming let him be. just walk away and let him have his time with that person. If u continue to pick him up or give into his needs then he will think he can get his way all the time. One day he will have to start school and interact with other children and his teacher without u being there. My son has the same problem to this day, even when i just go throw out the trash he screams but when i walk away he ends up stopping. he is 13 months. He will get used to it, just give it time, but u also need to help him by not giving in. Good Luck!
2006-10-07 14:57:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah, it really is normal. I have 3 kids and they have all been through the clingy stage. However my youngest was the only one to have been put in daycare as a baby when I had to go back to work after my divorce. He was 8 months old and cried like he was going to die every time I even walked in with him. And at first I tried everything, getting there early to play for a while, feeding him after I got there, etc... nothing helped... but what I started noticing was that as soon as I walked out of the room and closed the door, the crying stopped, and if I looked in the window on my way to my car, there he was, smiling and eating his breakfast like he didn't even miss me. So the key for us was for me to just make the goodbye as quick as possible and the crying stopped really fast. Before too long, it stopped all together. I hope maybe this will work for you too. Just remember to be calm and patient. I have learned from experience that kids will pick up on your moods. If you are tense and upset... your baby will be too. Good luck. You will do fine. Remeber this... You will probably remember this forever... but your son will have forgotten all this and have a bigger crisis to throw a fit about when it comes time to potty train. Ha Ha.
2006-10-07 15:14:51 · answer #4 · answered by Hicktown 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't mention a partner so, this is more likely to happen in a single parent home.
Be with him around other people more. Ask some of your friends to play with him while you are together. Find things for him to do at home that encourage him to spend time away from you even if you're in the same place. Take him to a park and allow him to play and gradually move a little farther away while you are studying but not so far away that he can't see you. Give him crayons and a coloring book while you study.
Do your parents' child raising opinion vary greatly from your own? Do they believe in letting a child cry when you would coddle? Are they as affectionate? Are they more strick?
2006-10-07 15:09:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope I can ease your mind just a little. My sister owned/operated a daycare for 5 years. During that time I worked there with her. Most of the little ones would cry like there was no tomorrow when mom or dad was walking out the door. By the time they had reached the car, their little ones had stopped crying and went on playing. It is almost like they are catching on to the guilt trip thing at that age. One thing you may try that a couple of the parents did is to go in a few minutes early and give them kisses before you ever walk in the door so that you don't feel the need to "say goodbye" right before you leave. Go in and sit down. Give him a few minutes to get his mind on something else.....Sit him in the floor away from you with his favorite toys. While he is not looking, slip out. Good luck.
2006-10-07 15:07:46 · answer #6 · answered by mom of 2 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Reassure him that mommy will be back. Try calling on your breaks so he can hear your voice, also you might need to try to leave him with others you trust a little bit more just so he can get use to knowing that you leave but always come back. You don't have to leave him with others for hours maybe a half to an hour to start off with. Also try leaving when he is distracted when you take him to your parents home have him start playing with stuff or have grandma or grandpa take him to another room for a moment so you can slip out. We had to do this one with our daughter and it never bothered her because she always new that we would come back for her.
2006-10-07 14:56:10 · answer #7 · answered by medevilqueen 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
proceed the type you're going. you could desire to be so happy with your self that he loves and have faith you lots as i'm effective that he had to construct such numerous partitions to regain his admire for humanity back. enable him take his time. possibly propose a known movie that your husband can take him to or perhaps in simple terms bypass to the bathroom somewhat longer each and every time on an identical time as he's with your husband and that they are taking part in a game. enable him take his time, poor factor he has being by alot. he gets there yet pushing him will in easy terms make him no longer have faith you and sense rejected. enable your husband take him to college or %. him up from college (strolling into the class room) and enable him show him a number of his artwork at school. discover one factor that they the two have in hardship-unfastened and this could help set up something that they are in a position to the two communicate approximately. tell your husband to no longer take it to coronary heart, youngsters are so fragile and specially situations us adults can do or say issues which could harm a baby extraordinarily. Be proud and proceed doing a marvelous job of proving a loving domicile for this style of particular baby.
2016-12-13 04:05:50 · answer #8 · answered by binford 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every child usually goes through this stage. Just be patient. Your best bet is to ask other people to do things for him, like feed him or take him for a walk. It will take time for him to stop being so clingy, but you must stand your ground and let him cry the first couple times. Good luck.
2006-10-07 14:52:46 · answer #9 · answered by LiSa B 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Separation anxiety is pretty common at this age. Luckily, it is only a phase and he will grow out of it. You may want to get him one of those softbooks that you can insert pictures in and put some photos of familiar things (you, Dad, pets, grandparents, etc.) in it. That way, he will have something to help redirect him, when he is crying and sad. It will comfort to have his own book of familiar things and it will allow quiet time with Grandma.
2006-10-07 15:05:05 · answer #10 · answered by lynnguys 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋