8. Christmas shopping can be accomplished on Christmas Eve, for 25 relatives, in twenty minutes
17. none of a mans co workers have the power to make him cry
48. men only go shopping when there is something they need to buy
23. a man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. a woman will pay $1 for a $2 item she doesn’t need
35. a man can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift
19. car mechanics tell men the truth
42. men almost never have to queue up for the toilets
46. men understand why dumb & dumber is funny
30. men never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean that their lover is about to leave them
50. men don’t have to shave below their neck
47. men don’t have to clean their flat if the meter reader is coming
7. men can sit with their knees apart no matter what they’re wearing
44. when a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready to go out. when a woman says she is ready to go out, it means she will be ready as soon as she finds her other ear ring, makes one phone call and finishes putting on her makeup
13. men are practically expected to belch loudly in public
16. a man can be showered and ready for work in ten minutes after getting up in the morning. Women require two hours minimum
37. men never have to miss a sexual opportunity because they’re not in the mood
45. men don’t believe they can reverse the aging process by applying a cream containing vitamin e and/ or liposomes (whatever they are)
15. a man only requires six items in his bathroom: a razor, shaving cream, toothbrush, toothpaste, soap and a towel. The average woman has around 370 items in her bathroom. The average man would be unable to identify most of these
2. men don’t have to wear make up to look good
33. men get paid more than women for doing the same work
40. a mans friends will never attempt to trap him with: “so…notice anything different?”
24. men never have to give birth
1. men wake up as good looking as they went to be. Women somehow deteriorate during the night
32. grey hair and wrinkles only add character to a mans face
39. not liking a person does not eliminate having great sex with them
25. men get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
49. three pairs of shoes are enough for any man
11. on hot days, men can whip off their shirt
12. if a man can cook, everyone thinks its an accomplishment
26. if men have casual sex, they don’t have to worry about their reputation
9. one mood, all the time!
18. men never have to worry about a glass ceiling
36. men don’t have to pretend they’re ‘freshening up’ to go to the toilet
21. men don’t have to carry a bag with them wherever they go
28. for men, chocolate is just another snack
22. men don’t have to take a support group when they go to the toilet
4. if another man turns up at a party in the same outfit, the chances are neither of them will notice
31. hot wax never comes near a mans public area
10. men don’t have to remember everyone’s birthdays and anniversaries
6. men don’t need anyone else to open jars for them
03. if a man is going on a weeks holiday, he only needs one suitcase
20. men pay half the price women pay at the hairdressers
34. people never glance at a mans chest when he’s talking to them
38. new shoes don’t cut, blister or mangle a mans feet
29. a man can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passengers seat
27. men can write their name in the snow
41. phone conversations are over in thirty seconds flat
14. if a man is 34 and still single, nobody even notices
5. men don’t care if no one notices there new haircut
43. if someone forgets to invite a man to something, he (or she) can still be their friend
2006-10-07 14:49:44 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
these are all I could think up on short notice:
1. You can pee standing up
2. Can sleep around and you get a pat on the back
3. Can go bald and people don’t run in horror
4. You don’t have to shave under your arms
5. You don’t have to shove/wax a bikini line
6. Hair on your upper lip is ‘normal’
7. You don’t have to pluck your eyebrows
8. You don’t have a menstrual cycle and all that goes with it
9. You don’t go through menopause
10. You can write in the snow while peeing
11. You can gain weight and it’s no big deal
12. You don’t have to wear make-up
13. You don’t have to wear pantyhose
14. You don’t have to wear a bra
15. You don’t have to style your hair before going out
16. You can eat what you want
17. You can belch in public and people: a) don’t pay attention b) they laugh
18. Your entertained by farts
19. You have ‘simple’ needs
20. You either say what you mean or you lie – no beating around the bush (so to speak)
21. Shaving your legs is a choice
22. Hair on your chest is a ‘good thing’
23. You can be messy and no one thinks twice
2006-10-07 15:03:12 · answer #1 · answered by CrazyCatLady 4 · 5⤊ 1⤋
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate
is just another snack. You can be President. You
can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-
shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a
water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to
another gas station restroom because this one is
just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of
which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work,
more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding
dress~$5000. Tux rental~$100. People never stare
at your chest when you're talking to them. The
occasional well-rendered belch is practically
expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle
your feet. One mood all the time. Phone
conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You
know stuff about tanks. And you know what a
Thomson is.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You
can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for
the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone
forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your
friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You
almost never have strap problems in public. You
are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color. The
same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck. You
can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually
hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of
shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear
shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do"
your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of
choice concerning growing a mustache. You can
do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on
December 24 in 25 minutes.
2006-10-07 15:08:37 · answer #2 · answered by ladY iN piNk 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Now THAT made my day, old man. Are you sure you're not from New York? Bless You. That annoying, rotten..... Rat.
2006-10-07 16:58:00 · answer #3 · answered by Raptor 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
And yet men can't number things correctly. Proves women are still superior =)
2006-10-07 16:57:03 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Raven 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Men can sleep in their underwear.
Men can sleep in front of the TV
2006-10-07 14:59:19 · answer #5 · answered by barrettins 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
LOL not really a question, but thnx 4 sharing :))
2016-03-28 01:15:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's funny i can't think of one thing
2006-10-07 14:53:28 · answer #7 · answered by Magica! Star 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
it's kinda old sweetpie a lot of people have told this ♥
2006-10-07 16:44:22 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
fantastic
2006-10-07 15:36:55 · answer #9 · answered by just tht kid over there 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
did you forget how to count? ~ all is true though
2006-10-07 15:06:31 · answer #10 · answered by ♥michele♥ 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋