They didn't have no kids and they were married 20 yrs and i'm not sure what to say to her to comfort her. She does believe in god but she says she feels abandon and all that. Just anything will help thank you and now she has to live alone and he died in front of her on their porch. thank u
2006-10-07 14:36:21 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i want to say thank you very much for all your input, by the way it's my aunt who i'm speaking about. so thank you to everyone.
2006-10-07 14:46:20 · update #1
Thank you very much and as I was reading your answers she had called me crying because she just got home by herself and was lonely and hurting and needed someone to talk. I just listened to her talk and cry. thanks for all your advice
2006-10-07 15:25:39 · update #2
Just tell her you're sorry.
Ask her how she is doing.
Take her to the mall, out for dinner, to a movie.
Invite her over for coffee, or a meal.
Offer to listen if she wants to talk; sometimes, people just need to talk about the loved one. Don't be afraid to talk about him, too.
Bring her flowers, or a book.
Ask her to go for a walk with you.
The important thing is to stay present. Don't expect her to reach out to you, it is a hard thing to do when you are grieving. Be there for her without her needing to ask, because she probably won't.
I'm a widow; I remember the one of the best things a friend did for me was to show up at my house, and say "We're going to the mall!!" So many people are afraid to talk to a grieving person, for fear they'll say the wrong thing. Abandoning them is much worse, believe me.
2006-10-07 14:43:53 · answer #1 · answered by Bad Kitty! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do to take the pain away, But visit her talk about your uncle that's important, let her know how you feel, Take her out to lunch . She needs to be needed there's no one shes all alone,If she gets angry its OK its all part of the grieving, It took me about a year after my daughter died, yelling at myself, "You Gotta get up and do something" Its hard and during that time it seamed that all my friends did'nt bother,except one she listened and talk and we cried together. Have patience with her and again just let her know shes not alone.Your there.Don't give up..God will see her through this,even if she doesn't believe you pray for her.
2006-10-07 15:00:11 · answer #2 · answered by lennie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there really in no words that will actually sink in at the moment ..everyone will be saying the same things:"I am sorry is there anything i can do,if you ever need to talk" the best thing you can do for her is to really go out of your way to be there for her do not smother her but after the services people will start back to their own lives that's when she'll need you the most...invite her to dinner or bring her a special meal from time to time..send her cards in the mail not sympathy but just like thinking of you,brighten your day things..continue to be there when everyone else fades...try to help do things that her husband might have tended to by helping yourself or one of your friends..invite her out for a girls night be her real friend ..which i am sure you are ...actions always speak louder then words..God Bless
2006-10-07 14:44:55 · answer #3 · answered by Alli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes 'words' are not needed. Just a comfortable presence can calm someone down. If you're close to her, just go over, spend some time, and offer to help with some mundane things. If she appreciates the effort, she'll let you help. If she shies you away, take the hint and don't push. She's in a very greiving mode.
2006-10-07 14:39:43 · answer #4 · answered by Arnold M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I'm so sorry. I really liked your husband very much. He will be missed by so many people."
Then remember a little story about him, or memory or charatcer you admired and tell her about it. "I always liked the way he would_____"
Widows say they have a rush of friends at first, but in 90 days everyone moves on and expects her to "get over it"- let her grieve, it takes at least a year, so see her often and let her talk about him. Talk about him- don't worry that you'll "remind" her of him- people need to remember the good things in order to recover.
2006-10-07 14:46:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh I am so so sorry to hear that for her I really am If she needs to talk about how she feels contact me I'm always online, I know how it feels I've lost a family member to I can relate just ask me to help.
2006-10-07 14:40:53 · answer #6 · answered by GirlyGirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would let her know that god is going to bless her in her time of grief and i am here if you need me its not going to be a over night thing so its going to take some time for her to get over it but with great faith and just taking it one day at a time she will get through knowing she has family and friends and god by her sides shes lucky to have a niece like you may god bless you and your family
2006-10-07 15:13:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing that you say is going to make it any easier for her. You can just tell her that you are sorry and that you are there for her. Cook her some meals and try to keep her a little bit busy. Just be her friend.
2006-10-07 14:39:34 · answer #8 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just listening to her will help. And lending a shoulder that she could cry on. And to know what to tell her listening will help you find the answer.
2006-10-07 14:38:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say nothing just feel compassion and give them a hug
2006-10-07 14:38:11 · answer #10 · answered by macrominded 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋