Well the help i need they dont give.I need hands on help i can hardly help my mom off or out of bed,she needs more then i can give what do i do theres only her and me medical out she has to much money and not enough for all are bills i need to talk to someone thats beem there done that so please dont answer if it wont help i really need help my story is very long sad stupid and i just dont no what to do.how can we email each other ?I dont no a whole lot about computers so bare with me if you decide to try and help
2006-10-07 13:58:30 · 7 answers · asked by lynn m 2 in Health ➔ Other - Health
you no some of you might just beable to help me but you have no email address so heres mine lynnmcdow@yahoo.com gator girl and pati c sounded like thery could help
2006-10-09 10:38:53 · update #1
Hi, first of all, your story is not long or stupid. It is sad, and I've been going through this with my mom. She has been getting worse with Alzheimer's, and just got on hospice a few months ago, but she has been in a care home for a couple of years.
Call the social worker who was assigned to you through hospice. Tell her you need in-home help, explain exactly what help you need, and explain the financial situation. See what options she can give you.
Hospice has volunteers that come to visit, they also have nurses that come to your home and give baths, etc. They can have someone in your home every day if necessary, even several times a day.
Medi-Care pays for hospice and ALL supplies needed to care for your mom. If she needs diapers, they will provide those. They have even provided my mom with an air mattress so she doesn't get bed sores. They will also provide a wheelchair, and pay for certain medications.
See if hospice can provide a lift which you can operate to get your mom in and out of bed.
Also, you may want to talk to an attorney who specializes in elder law. If you are short on money, contact your local legal aid office, they give free advice or discount their fees depending on your income. The attorney can give you more information on how to protect what $$ your mom has from being eaten up by medical bills, etc.
You have a hard road ahead of you, and I wish you the best. I have been dealing with this for 4 years, and it has been physically and emotionally exhausting.
2006-10-07 14:19:28 · answer #1 · answered by gator girl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I have been through it. My mother had too much money for any help. She could have paid someone to help her (for a while) but at the rates, I might as well have quit work and done it.
How old is your Mom? If she cannot get out of bed herself and this isn't short term, then she probably needs to be somewhere she can get the help she needs. There are nursing homes and in my town we have actual Hospice where the people go into a Hospice and get nursing care. Does she just need custodial care? Custodial care is getting out of bed, help with bathing, toilet, etc. Or does she need Skilled Nursing Care? You may see that abbreviated SNC in literature. There are also extended care facilities that your mother can be impatient.
The reason I ask her age is because if she needs SNC, then Medicare (for people over 65) does pay for that.
I will put your question on my watch list. Let me know how old she is and if this is short term or not.
Unfortunately my mother passed away before we had to make any decisions.
I can tell you from personal experience that as bad as it sounds for your mom to have to be inpatient somewhere is not as bad as you not being able to give her the proper care as much as you try. I found out that my mother was not eating the lunch I left for her (when I went to work) because she could not carry it. She must have felt so helpless and miserable. She deserved better.
I know how hard this for you and for your mother. If you have siblings, demand help from them. I wish I would have.
Let me know the answers to my questions and I will tell you as much as I can.
2006-10-07 14:08:13 · answer #2 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so lets see, by your previous questions, you own two houses now, and are going to prison for 2 years unless you can find a way out of it, because you were / are a doper?
Sell the houses, use the money to put her into a full time nursing home. It will take all the money she gets for the houses, then medicare / medicade may help. Then go do your two years in prison, and let us all know how it works out.
2006-10-07 14:06:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't know where you live at but hospice always goes over & beyond in s.c. to help any way they can . i am so sorry & my heart goes out to you. have you tried calling some of the local churches , their ladies groups often are willing to help in any way.
do you have a ministry that helps the needy in your town , i'm sure they could give you some leads . i will be praying for the lord to open doors for you & to give you the strength you need, also for the hospice people's heart's to be melted where youall are concerned . remember jesus loves you
2006-10-07 14:43:31 · answer #4 · answered by joyous believer 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
At this stage you will have to go to the welfare department and tell them you cannot handle her. She will have to have 24/7 care and you cannot handle it. Contact the ss board also and tell them what the problem is. Her doctor can get her admitted.
We had to have our mother admitted for dementia. I know the problem you are experienceing.
The best way is to go to the doctor and tell him you can not handle her, and she has to be admitted. If she has valuables such as property and goes to the hospital or rest home under state help they can take her valuables to cover their cost, and often do so. It varries from state to state. If there is money or property it;s best to see a lawyer. Have it invested in an account that no one can touch but you to pay bills.(or put in your name).
Hospice usually has a clinic nearby for the terminally ill.
Hospice came to my brothers home many times to give him neccessary drugs, and such aid as needed. when he got to the point he could no longer look after himself they put him in a rest home, he signed for himself. )they also advised him to do that) I can't say enough good about them personally. Hospice was great here, and still is.
If you do enter her in a rest home(sounds bad but sensible) do not sign he rinto thehome or a hospital. let her doctor do it or le ther signm herself in. Hospitals and rest homes are nortorious for going afte rthe one who signed her in, and will rack up unneccessary billss to write off if they fiond she cannot help herself or pay for it.
Sometimes it just gets to the point whre you have to have help.
2006-10-07 14:29:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
They can't get her some 24 hour nursing care? Maybe she needs to be inpatient hospice. To e-mail, click someone's picture. It will tell u if u can e-mail that person or not. E-mail me if u would like.
2006-10-07 14:05:05 · answer #6 · answered by dragonkisses 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hope your mom has insurance.
2006-10-07 14:05:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋