what to do?

Question

I have a question about my relationship with my boyfriend. I already know the answer I just need someone to tell me.
My boyfriend and I have a wierd relationship. we have been together for 9 months but we break up every few weeks for a couple of days, because my boyfriend gets mad at me for no reason and will not talk to me then he will call me an apologize. this has happened at least once a month since we started dating. The other factor is- he drinks alot. I mean he drinks 2 or 3 beers in the morning before he goes to work. There are several bottles of visine all over the house- so I think that he is a functional alcoholic. We even got into a fight because I didn't want to wait in line for 20 minutes at a resturant just so he could get a beer. I just want to know is there any help for him?/us?
I totally know that I am co-dependant. I just need someone to give me the wake up slap.
thank you

Answer 1

Darlin, this guy sounds like a looser. I know how difficult it is when you have no choice than to compromise happiness with security, but he is the one who needs a wake up call. If you love him then the only way you can help him is to stop being his prop. You are literally the one who picks him up when he falls, covers for him when he embarress's himself, and is there to pick up all the shattered pieces when things go wrong. It is not fair, and if you have children it is not fair on them either. You sound like a lovely person who deserves to be treated better. I'd imagine he has blown away most of you self esteem, and confidence with the harsh words he uses....please don't listen to him. My mother was an alcoholic, and myself and 3 sisters were treated as slaves, and were physically and verbally abused all of our childhood life, when I left home, I was a mess, I was so shy, and felt if my own mother didn't love me how could anyone else? But a few years later I met the man of my dreams, and within time, he brought out the best in me, he has given me so much confidence and love, and today I am a very confident, successful business woman. I can only see now (now that I am away from it all) that she was the one with the problems, not I.
So for you, it will be one big plunge if you do decide to go that way, it won't be easy, and you will get a lot of verbal abuse from him, but you really must look down the track - how do you see your life 10 years from now - the same? Or worse?...Just do it!
Leave him for good.
I wish all the sucess, and if you ever need to talk more - just email me.

Answer 2

Personally I would dump him and move on, but since your finding it hard to do that then Sounds like he has a drinking problem. First thing would be to try to get him to recognize this so he can go seek help or try to cut down on his drinking. Then talk to him about these fights you guys have all the time, seems like the alcohol is might be fueling it it so probably if he's not going to stop or slow down on his drinking then it will continue and eventually get worse. I say get out of the relationship before it gets too bad. There are plenty of other good men out ther for you. Good Luck.

Answer 3

This isn't a weird relationship, it's a very bad relationship. Right now, your boyfriend is just getting angry at you and not talking to you. Very soon, he will start verbally abusing you. Very soon after that, it will turn physical.

You realize he is an alcoholic. You know he isn't very stable.
These factors alone are raising red flags with you.

You really need to tell him good bye. You cannot help this man, he needs to make the decision to seek help for his addiction.

The last thing you want is to be abused. The last thing you want is a child with this man to witness this kind of behavior or to be a victim of it. Get out now while you can.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Do you love him that much? If not, then better make a choice now that he is still your boyfriend. Because, I tell you alcohol addiction is pretty much the same as drug addiction. If you save him now, you"ll gonna do it a hundred times. Give him an ultimatum, but still it doesn't guarrantee that you will have a happy relationship with him.

Answer 5

*slap* ... wake up. Of all the guys in the world you chose an ill-tempered malfunctioning alchoolic? If you just watch the situation and do nothing about it, it won't solve itself, problems will never solve themself unless you decide to do something about them. And believe me, your problems haven't started yet ... These are just the starting signals you're seeing right now. Love is all about understanding, comprehension, agreement. If you have those you have love, if you don't ... well try to find them in someone else. So my advice to you is ... search for someone else. Goodluck.

Answer 6

i think you should move out and find someone who really loves you and won't trade you up for a bottle of beer. if you don't want to leave him, take him to a rehab program, have an intervention or alcoholic anonymous

Answer 7

I think maybe you should strong adverse him to go to a AA meeting or some to give him awake up call, he is drink to much. I think you would be better to find someone else.

Answer 8

I got as far as "he drinks a lot" and that was all I needed to know to give my opinion. You should dump him and find someone who will treat you better.

Answer 9

take this advice from a man and LEAVE!!
I don't see things getting better, if hes not willing to sober up for himself then he surely won't sober up for you and the better of your relationship.
I have been with a substance abuser and take it from me after 5 years wasted it caused more heartache to leave later then sooner.

Answer 10

Learn to listen to yourself. You know what his priorities are. You just want your feeling to be hurt more in order to believe.