A relative of mine is riddled with guilt over an auto accident in which she hit someone who was pushing his stalled car along a dark road after midnight. The young man suffered a broken leg and has had to undergo two surgeries. She was momentarily blinded by the high beams of an oncoming vehicle at the time of the accident. She was in no other way impaired and she was not speeding. Fortunately she is fully insured and his medical bills will be paid for. She has asked me for advice on how to express her sincere sorrow and regret over what happened but I am at a loss. She has sent flowers to him in the hospital but she wants to do somethimg more meaningful. Any suggestions?
2006-10-07 13:42:51 · 9 answers · asked by mikem 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Just going to see him and expressing it to his face is all that is needed. She is taking care of the bills or her insurance is. At least she is one with a heart. Not to many like her anymore. Give her plenty of encouragment
2006-10-07 13:47:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't think your relative needs to be "riddled" with guilt, since it was an accident and he/she wasn't drunk or anything. The flowers were a nice gesture. Maybe dropping by for a quick visit or giving a call to see how he is doing would be nice, maybe bringing by a box of candy or something, but I don't know if I would do much of anything else unless he is terribly likeable. Maybe just check on him a couple of times until he gets out of the hospital.
2006-10-08 01:00:00 · answer #2 · answered by swirlygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there to support her and continue to remind her that it was an accident, and that the situation could have been much worse. Sending flowers is good, but an actual visit may speak louder. I like the cookie idea...everyone likes cookies. Maybe write him a note saying all the things that she doesn't think she'd be able to say to his face when she is there, and leave it with the cookies when you leave. If she is genuinely sorry as it seems she is, I'm sure the man will understand and have some sympathy for her also.
2006-10-07 21:23:53 · answer #3 · answered by deepwaters05 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should go see him in person, both while in the hospital and once home recuperating. Taking him some food is a good idea, as while his leg is healing, things like cooking will likely be difficult. A hand-written note is a good idea as well, expressing her regret for what happened, and a full explanation. If she's able herself, she could offer to help him around the house now and then until he is better - just stopping by to help with taking out garbage, or bringing something to eat now and then ... of course, that only works if they live close-ish to one another.
2006-10-07 21:36:44 · answer #4 · answered by Holly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure if she just showed up with flowers to visit, he'd realize how sorry she is for the accident. She's done all she really can, but a visit is a nice gesture.
Remind her that the word "accident" means just that. She didn't do it on purpose. It's hard to get rid of guilt, but she has to at some stage.
Best wishes to everyone involved.
2006-10-07 20:54:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do for your friend is to suggest that she see a counselor or a minister or therapist about her unresolved feelings about this terrible accident. Perhaps she would consider making a donation to a local scholarship fund, senior citizen center, hospital, homeless shelter, or food bank in his name. It is very important that she receive help with her unresolved felings as soon as possible.
2006-10-07 23:07:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is not much more that she can do other than paying the fella a visit in the hospital. Sometimes unfortunate things happen.
Just remind her she did nothing wrong :)
2006-10-07 20:56:15 · answer #7 · answered by Keanu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First go see him & speak true. Funny thing about us humans, we can usually tell when someone is genuine or not & if they aren't & we assume they are, shame on them. She also needs to know that everything in life has a purpose. Let her know that it was a blessing he wasn't killed & that maybe in the grand tapestry of life, he needed that to slow down & realize what truly has value.
2006-10-07 21:04:16 · answer #8 · answered by angels02_2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
accidents happen and i know she feels bad, a simple note telling him she is sorry and hope he recovers soon is good. when he goes home she could send a home cooked dinner over to him or some home made cookies....i vote for the cookies......
2006-10-07 20:56:51 · answer #9 · answered by churchonthewayseniors 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋