I've been seeing a bloke for about 3months now. At first we took thing really slowly and everything was perfect...now everything still is pretty perfect. I can't fault him at all he's kind, generous, respectful...I just feel like he's not my ideal partner and I want to try being single because I came out of a 4year relationship and went straight into one with him. The only trouble is I have absolute no idea how to phrase what I would say to him when I do break it off. Please help! I need some ideas as to how I can put it to him gently.
2006-10-07 12:47:19 · 38 answers · asked by binauk2002 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There is no easy way to do it but be honest yet kind.
To collect your thoughts, just keep re-writing paragraphs til you get the main points out and make it about YOU not about him. Then decide which summary is best and kindest. Practice verbalizing it. Then when you are ready pick a time when he's in a neutral mood and start in on the subject. If you prefer drop a hint a week before that will give him time to think something is up so it's not a total slap in the face. Don't do it over the phone.
That's part of life, there is no getting around it. He will appreciate your honesty and you both can move on.
2006-10-07 12:52:41 · answer #1 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you had to say here isn't all that bad! You are being honest and up front and that is way more than a lot of people do. It would be helpful if you started with the fact that you have just gotten out of a 4 year relationship. It could be that you need time to see how you do feel about your bloke. Tell him what you told us...he is kind, generous and good to a fault, then tell him that you are a better person because of the time you've had with him. Stay friends if that is possible. Luck to ya. Nana
2006-10-07 12:56:34 · answer #2 · answered by nanawnuts 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he sounds like a decent guy. But it seems to me that this was a "rebound" relationship. You may have entered into it too quickly, just out of loneliness. These relationships tend not to work out. (When my marriage broke up, I had to resist the temptation to rebound.)
As for what to say to him, I think a straightforward approach is best & least painful in the long run. Just tell him that you don't feel a connection with him & you want to date other people or be alone - something like that. His response to this will give you a clue as to what kind of person he really is.
2006-10-07 13:11:42 · answer #3 · answered by WillyC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"____ you've been good to me; kind, generous, respectful... and i'm very fortunate to know you and and to share what we have.
But i don't want to waste your time. I'm in a situation right now where i feel I need to be by myself to make some decisions about my life and enjoy a certain amount of space and autonomy. It's not about someone else and its not about you. Its just that your need is for a relationship and you deserve...
i am not really available for that because I need something different which doesn't involve you. I wish it was different and that we could go on but the situation is that we can't and I don't want to lead you on or waste your time.
2006-10-07 13:30:56 · answer #4 · answered by Can I Be Your Pet? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like rebound fling, when exiting a realationship we tend to fall into a short fling to make us feel better about it. If you do not love him tell him so. A lenghty explaination will only hurt this nice guy. Short and sweet, but be sure that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.
2006-10-07 12:55:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There really is no gentle way to do it. But quicker is less painful and honest is most respectful. If he has treated you well, he deserves an honest reason. Be direct, honest and resolute, and even though he may be pissed, at least he can't accuse you of deceit.
You sound like quite a catch and whoever you decide to be with is a lucky guy. Damn, wish I was single.
NO I DON"T! (wife over shoulder)
2006-10-07 12:55:10 · answer #6 · answered by michaelsmaniacal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-19 00:06:15 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your fella sounds lovely, he seems to have the qualities most women would like in a man.
I do not think you will have a problem in telling him how you really feel, as i am sure that he will be hurt, but at the same time very understanding. Your words should come naturally and not from other people. I am sure you will be o.k. It is never easy breaking with anyone, but just remember, to put yourself in his shoes, and how you would feel.
2006-10-07 13:18:57 · answer #8 · answered by classychick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him what you put in your question. Tell him that there is nothing wrong with him but you need to try being on your own for awhile. Tell him you were in a relationship that didnt work out and went straight to him and now you need to just cool down and see how it goes being single.
I hope I helped ... if even just a little!
2006-10-07 12:50:04 · answer #9 · answered by jessi7teen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well how about the truth. u just said it u went from one relationship 2 another n although he is a perfect guy u need ur space and 2 be single 4 awhile. no matter how u put it he is gonna be hurt but just be kind and gentle and let him know.
good luck
2006-10-07 12:50:02 · answer #10 · answered by Lady Geo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋