Any ideas on how to punish a 4 yr old?

Question

Please don't tell me time outs, and don't tell me I need to be consistant. I've tried that. Been doing it for over 2 yrs. Swatts on the butt have not helped. She doesn't care. I've put her in her room with no toys and let her scream her head off. When she won't pick up her toys I take them away from her, I put them in bags and take them away for a week give or take depending on the amount of toys. She doesn't get away with things, yet she continues to do them over and over even right after she has been punished. I know that kids grow out of this. But as anyone found any other forms of punishment that works short of handcuffing her in a closet and putting tape over her mouth. lol. Obviously I would never do that. And plz don't tell me she is lacking attention and love I promise you that is not the case.

For the most part she is not a sceamer except for when I put her in her room. She doesn't really throw fits. But it's things like getting into the fridge, she knows she is not supposed to without help and asking. We have a portion of the house that is gated off because it's where the computers are and such and since she can climb over the gates she is constantly doing this and getting into things she is not supposed to. She does it right in front of me too not just when I'm not looking. When she knows better. Things like hitting her brother or sitting on the cats. Normal 4 yr old stuff. She has this new fetish with playing with my razor and cutting herself. I have tried hiding it in so many different places and she always seems to find it. And she's so smart she moves chairs to get on top of things. So yes she knows better. She is very very smart. Talks a lot most people think she acts more like she is 6. and yes I know the bit about her being bored.

I have the back porch because we are upstairs and dont have a yard. Set up with all her outside toys a toy kitchen, work bench, including a sand box. she has puppies to play with and I do take her and the dogs to the park every day it's right behind our house we live on an army post we go to a children's play morning twice a week. And she doesn't act this way around other kids at all. When she goes to her friend's house she's a little angel typical.

She's really not a bad kid, she's just testing her limits as most kids do. She is so very stubborn. She's not doing anything major. But it is the little things we can't afford to let them get away with or they will just step it up a notch if you know what I mean. I'm not a finatic I don't yell or get mad every time she does anything, kids will be kids. but the above things that I mentioned, she likes to test it. Likes to try to be the adult, and yes as someone said independent. Often she will come to me and say she wants to be the adult today. she is acting out I know because of her 2 yr old brother and I am pregnant. She says things like you love Hadyon more. I do not give her any less attention than him but you know how little kids see it. I try to give her mommy time, put her brother to bed a bit ealier and her and I will do something together. But I supposed I just need to be a bit more patient. Just wondering if anyone else had any success stories.

I did say she doesn't throw fits. She just screams when I put her in her room but she doesn't throw herself on the floor or kick or anything like that. Don't answer my question unless you read the whole thing plz. I don't need judgements. My parents said she is just like I was when I was her age and I'm a very stubborn adult. So I know it runs in the family.

Answer 1

You said you have tried giving her swats on the butt. Have you ever really given her a spanking? I have 3 girls ages 3, 7, and 10 all have gotten spankings, and all still do from time to time. When i mean spanking, I don't mean 1 or 2 swats to the butt, I mean pants down, over the lap for a good 8-10 (for her age) sharp slaps to the bottom. If you do this consistently (sorry, i know you said not to say consistent) You will see a change, not over night, but she will come around. For a child it's simple, once the punishment out weighs the crime, they start to think twice. Yes she's just in a phase, I advise you to help bring her out of it ASAP.

Good Luck

Answer 2

Well...How often do you go to the park? This sounds like a small salution, but how bout a long day at the park? Let her play & get tired. Eat a good meal. By the time you get home shell be sleepy.

Does she take a nap every day?
Shell probably give you a hard time going to sleep, but eventually she WILL fall asleep.

I was raised on belt spankings. All I needed was one good spanking and then sent to bed. After that, my mom just took the belt out and showed it to me, and I would straighten up real quick. Eventually all she had to do was give me a LOOK, or shed say "Wheres my belt" and I knew what was coming, and Id straighten up.

I think the kids these days have no fear so they do what they want.

Good luck : )

Answer 3

Gee, sounds like she has a problem listing to you and taking you serious. Believe me, this Lil woman know exactly what she is doing, but then again there may be some kind of behavioral issues going on that may need to be addressed before she starts school. 1st I would say discuss it ( your concerns and what you have tried to address the problem) with her pediatrician and see what they suggest.
But on the parenting end I can read your fustrations with this and suggest you rationalize any of that before you implement any kind of disapline.

My thoughts on that is, Spare the rod, spoil the child... Saying no without explanation is never good and spanking/ discipline instills structure and self reliance.

I always used the 3 strike system with my 2 boys...
1. the first time I tell them no, not to do something or they are displaying non-acceptable behavior its with reason and warning.
2. The second time if its for the same thing we went over the first time and its done again, there is explanation with discipline and punishment. ( verbal scolling with a voice of authority not physical)
3. The third time If you I have to tell them about something you have already went over twice calls for explanation, discipline/punishment and a spanking.. Depending on the age of the child, between 2-3 yrs that spanking would consist of a tap on the hand with hand, between 3.5 and 7 yrs a tap on the booty/ behind without pants or between 7 and 11yrs just one good smack behind their hard head.. for making you go over the same explanation more than 2 times. I would not suggest anyone use harsh methods for spanking but, if you use leather, you're just making their Lil buts tougher and bad matters worse.. I would suggest using a ruler or a switch.. A switch really works well especiall if you just tap them on their bottoms with the tip of it just once or twice should be more than enough.. I assure you that they will not want to endure it again.. That sting will last them a life time and they will not do what it took to get it the first time again.. Sounds a tad harsh I know but its effective and has been around for more than 100 years.. just ask anyone over 60yrs, lol they could recall it like it was just yesterday and will not have scars to prove it.. And just think, they even lived through it to tell you about it and laugh in the process of sharing their experience with the infamous SWITCH..
Another thing I forgot to add is that when you tell your child not to do something do just that tell and not ask. A child need to know that you are the only adult besides the father in the house hold. Be frim in all of your parenting and show them that you mean what you say and that you say what you mean. You would do this be being firm, direct, serious and authoritive. Check it out, when ever you tell her to do something, she most of the time is looking straight at you, at this point she is feeling you out just to see if you really mean what you say. The tone in which you use make a whole world of difference. Sometime its not what you say but how you say it.. Just think about it, even as an adult, if someone tell you not to mess with them and they say it the right way, you will not push their button because you don't want to deal with their reaction or respone is you disobey their request not to be messed with..

Answer 4

Can you send her to preschool or nursery school a few days a week? I babysit my 4 year old grandson and he does the same thing. He started preschool and goes for 2 1/2 hours a day, and it has channeled him in other directions. I too was at my wits end before he went. Trust me, he does not behave like that at school, and he is calmer when he gets back. I had been saying for almost a year, that he was bored and not challenged in what we were 'trying' to do. Check it out, and it is a good break for him, and me. And he doesn't loose his toys as often as he use to, either. Good luck.

Answer 5

i'm so sorry...
is she in some kind of day care or something?? if not, even though you give her all the love and attention, it's still not enough.
she might just be social and not know how to deal with it, and so she's being bad to be the center of attention...(i hope that makes sense...)
punishment isn't always the answer. instead of telling kids what NOT to do, tell them what they CAN do...you know, like re-directing their activities...if you see her pouring water on the floor just for giggles, then take her out in the sand box...kids want to be busy, and they don't always know what to do to entertain themselves...now i know you said she's 4, and you think she should know better...but honestly, do you think she'll be any better by the time she's 16?? lol it might be different activities, but she'll still be looking for attention, and doing anything to get it.

good luck, and stop punishing for bad behavior, and start rewarding for good behavior.

Answer 6

She is going to grow up to be independent, how cool!
Anyways...I would try the nanny 911 method. I think it is get down on her level and speak in a firm voice about why she is being punished, and put her in a spot with no toys (I see you have already done that). I think you are suppose to keep them in there 1 min for every year they are. 4 minutes for her. Then ask her to apologize. If she doesnt back to the room for another 4 min.
I hope that nanny 911 stuff works, if not,
God bless and good luck

Answer 7

Ignore her screaming- she is probably getting too much attention from you. Of course, if she's doing something dangerous like climbing on the roof you should not ignore her, but if she just throws fits, pretend like nothing is happening.
My cousin was a little monster until his parents started ignoring his fits. He's a sweet kid now.
Don't spank or scream- she's only getting more attention that way, and spanking is just abhorrent.
If it doesn't get better, I would consider therapy- she might be hyperactive, and that can be treated if caught early.

Answer 8

wow go mom sounds like ur doing a great job and i sympathise with u, u must be at the end of ur tether
maybe u should get a check done on your child re food allergies, etc, also just incase - hearing checked
diff foods and the things in foods even natural foods can cause this type of behaviour in children
also i have expereinced children who have had hearing problems reacting like this

best of luck

Answer 9

get rid of the failings she loves. coaching her to be type to relatives, is coaching her to be type to the human beings interior the international. overlook approximately this and he or she gets the thought she is above others and easily much extra important than everybody else. That she would be able to handle human beings badly and it quite is not important. get rid of television time, laptop time, no longer something of exhilaration in her room. not extra procuring for relaxing. Have her do volunteer paintings and spend lots extra time with the relatives.

Answer 10

Take the TV away anything that she really loves take away. I'm not a parent but thats what I would do i guess.