Can you still be in love with someone after 4 years of not being together?

Question

Me and this guy were dating for 3 years, he was my first love, we broke up in 2002 and I still think about him to this day. Do u think that's bad and what should I do about itz?

Answer 1

You should find somebody else. Four years is a long time ago and you have to move on with your life. You may be going through something in your life that makes the past seem better. Or maybe you haven't found a relationship as good as your first, so you think that it was the end all, be all. But it is not. And it definitely is unhealthy to live in the past. You tend to miss out on your future. So get dressed up, go out, and find somebody else. Stop thinking about your ex-boyfriend and pretend that he never existed. Good luck. I don't know how old you are, but in the next FOUR years, you can meet somebody else, fall in love, get married, etc.etc.etc.

Answer 2

I think that this could have been me asking this question a few years ago... I dated a guy on and off for seven years. He was my first love. We broke up before we graduated and I have been out of high school for five years now. I am engaged now and I have two children. I still think about my first love all the time. Three years ago I went to see him, just to vist. It made me realize a lot of things. First, I love my fiance and I love my children and I wouldn't change that for a minute. Second,my heart will always have a special place reserved for that person. Thirdly, and most importantly, there was a reason that we broke up and that it was a good reason. The more that you are away from someone, the more that you start to remember things differently. Seeing that person again made me realize that there were some qualities about him that I definitely didn't like and had forgotten about. You start to remember all the good things and how happy and in love you were and you forget all the other details. I ask you to do this: Think about all the good and the bad. If you have to, write down everything that you loved about him and everything that you didn't in two columns. You may start to see things in a different light. Maybe he was a really good guy and things just ended badly. I don't know you and I don't know your situation. Only you can decide. I think that it's really hard to forget about someone but I don't think that it has to be all bad. You can move on and still think about him without feeling badly.

Answer 3

There is a saying ,,,,,, Distance makes the heart go wander ,,,,,, but there are sometimes when you could say ,,,,,,, Distance makes the heart grow fonder ,,,,, Which sounds like your situation ,,,,,, If you have these feelings for this person then it might be a good idea to try and rekindle a relationship with him ,,,, At least check into it ,,,,,,, I know that allot of people say and think that all you need is love but that's just some song writers fantasy ,,,,, Sometimes a successful relationship takes work or some kind of effort for it to flourish ,,,,, Any one can give you their advise but only you can make the decision ,,,, no one can do that for you ,,,,,, You need to follow your own heart ,,,,,, But I don't think it would hurt if you took a shot at it though ,,,,,,, You'd probably be in a quandary from now on if you didn't ,,,,,,But you also need to be mindful of why you broke up with him in the first place to see if anything has changed,,,,,, Sometimes taking a step backwards to someone in your past will get you two or three steps forward towards your future ,,,,, and who knows you just might strike pay dirt ,,,, so to speak ,,,,,, If you don't then you aren't out anything ,,,, At any rate there's no harm in just testing the waters ,,,,,,,, Yoda told you this ,,,,,,, Have fun and good luck

Answer 4

Well, I guess I'm in the same boat then. My first REAL love and I broke up 7yrs ago and to this day I still wonder how he is dong and if he is happy. However; exes are exes for a reason. We had several good reasons for not being together any longer and those will never change. I have sense married and have 2 kids I am very happy and know that had me and the ex stayed together it would have ended in divorce.

Answer 5

Went through similar myself - but I have to say, when I think of my ex(exs for that matter) it is not with the same light as before. People move on, and I'd say you have too. It's not wrong to think back on first loves, because they were paret of your life for so long, they burn into your psyche and identity - it's only natural. If you truly are besotted by the fella, then you should find out if he feels the same, but if he's neutral too, it might just strain your current relationship. Weigh up what is more important, and what will give him and you the most happiness without hurting someone, and you'll know what to do.
Hope this helped!

Answer 6

Yeah, you can still be in love after 4 years. Or 5 or 10 or 20. But it's not good for you. You are missing out on life and love. Move on. Force yourself. You deserve some happiness.

Answer 7

it's hard to forget 3 years of dating someone. You can still be in love with someone after many years. But your mind really fools you. It's not really love but a sense of loss..perhaps pride because he left you. Need more info to really give any good advice.

Answer 8

Try looking at it this way. If you don't think of him, it wasn't much of a relationship now was it? Most people always remember thier first serious relationship. Accept that it wasn't meant to be, and move on. Someday you most likely will remember your time with him as a pleasant memory..

Answer 9

Practical love comes from living in reality and facing the life together. If you and your partner can withstand the pressures of life and life itself together that is what relationship is about but you can escape reality for a short time but come right back into it.

Answer 10

I do the same thing to this girl I went out with almost 3 years ago. She is my motivation for stuff still. Just make sure you are using it for the good, not to bring yourself down.