How does the fact that I consider sexual intimacy a very personal and private affair make me "uptight?"

Question

Forgive me but some things are better private, I am not an exhibitionist nor a public person. Sex for a woman takes place inside of our body so therefore is very personal. How does respecting myself and the intimacy I feel inherent in sex make me a prude? Please note I do not judge anothers sexuality nor do I wish to make it illegal. I just do not wish to be forced to be a spectator in that personal communion.

It is hard to ignore when it is one television, every billbord, and every magazine add. Sir.

This was in response to this question and a private email I will not post.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AjRqDW6I7cYN67PJwlMwjd_sy6IX?qid=20061007143809AAgWW2p

Answer 1

sorry, but I don't remember saying you were uptight.
personally I agree with you.

but if you are not a exhibitionist, why are you putting your statement out there on an international forum?

Answer 2

I'm afraid we can't answer your question unless you are more specific. What kind of spectator are you talking about? Is someone asking you to watch them have sex? To watch pornography? Are you against pornography, or just disinterested in viewing it personally? What was it that made someone accuse you of being prudish or uptight? Be specific now.

Having now read the post that instigated your question, I would have to say that if it is merely that YOU do not enjoy pornography, then no, you are not a prude or 'uptight'. If however you try to control OTHER peoples viewing of it, then you ARE a prude, uptight, and arrogant on top of it. I don't know a situation where you might be 'forced to be a spectator in that personal communion', unless you were tied to a chair and had porno screened for you.

Answer 3

Sexual intimacy can be private, it just depends on the person. I am a very open person, so if someone asks me a question about sex I have no problem answering. My response may help them. I used to be a fornicator, so I try to share my story with people because sometimes it really helps and may lead them toward God. But I do not feel that just because you keep your sex life private you are "uptight." I do hope that you are married if you are engaging in sex. That's the right way to do it honorably by God.

Answer 4

Well said, There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, I think that way too. It should be something kept between a man and a women, but these days it's everywhere! Every time I watch TV there is always some sort of nasty commercial or crude movie its disgusting. Why can't things be the way it used to be. Back then when this stuff was actually kept in the home. Times have changed.

Answer 5

Your question/comment speaks highly of you. It’s rare in this day and age of “sexual liberation” that you will find a woman who is restrained in her expressions concerning sex. You are right on target in stating that this culture is far too open about the most intimate of interactions between a man and woman. If life is sacred, then it is naturally to assume that the act that brings life into this world must also be a hallowed thing. It should not be cheapened by brandishing it on TV, magazines, billboards, and in the conversation over the office water cooler.

I think a lot of the sexual dysfunction, aberrant sexual practices, and sexually criminal behavior is the direct result of our society constantly being bombarded with sexual imagery and rhetoric. Society would improve immensely if more women exemplified your modesty. Is it any wonder that in an earlier time, when women were proud of their chastity before marriage, derogatory terms like “B-I-T-C-H” were seldom used in the public arena? Now, as women are flaunting their sexuality with reckless abandon, the term "B-I-T-C-H" is one of the most ubiquitous pronouns used in reference to women. If women would reclaim the sexual modesty they once had, and not make themselves the public spectacle they are now, they would regain the respect they used to be accorded.

My compliments to you Debra M for being a voice crying in the wilderness, and having the strength to go against the tide. I wish there were more women like you.

Answer 6

I believe that public displays of affection in the form of holding hands, a hug a brief kiss/peck are fine regardless of the two people involved (ie same or oposite gendered). Onthe other hand necking, long passionate kisses, groping, being attached at the hip, exposure of genitalial, fettish attire etc. should be private.

Now then private may be in a club etc. other venue that a person must choose to enter with fair warning of what they might see.

Answer 7

It doesn't make you uptight. I think that in this day and age it makes you a sensible person in that you're selective about who you choose to be intimate with and let's face it that may save your life!
I think that more people are like you than either of us would be aware of. For all the idle chat and comments when your either out with the girls or the guys for the most part all humans are intensely private people: we just think that everyone else isn't!!
I think the media has a role to play in this stereotype of all girls are sluts and all men are studs. It's wrong!! I'm male and prefer to be intimate with my wife and before I met her I had to be in a steady relationship before I'd be intimate with anyone. Even at uni when "you're supposed to be sleeping around" I was just never comfortable with it....
Privateness is *fine*!

Answer 8

Wow, sounds like he's a touch shy about that huh? Ya understand, each and every so often human beings watch porn even even with the actuality that they could were taught that that's incorrect! possibly if he feels in the again of his options, that he truly should not be observing it, that makes him even extra uncomfortable about brazenly discussing it! fairly of asking him, in simple terms imitate what's occurring in the flic, and his actual reactions could allow you to understand what you want to understand. i'd not make a large deal of it even with the actuality that, because you already suggested you've an exceedingly good sex existence. Ya particular do not wanna mess that up do ya?

Answer 9

I think most people respect that attitude that you have. Its only when you are judgmental of others who don't share your views that you get razzed. Fair is fair, if you turn your nose up at a "sl@t" (something you may not even be aware of) be prepared to be called a prude.

Oh, and I love sex all over the tv and billboards and stuff. Why is it that your view on this is more important than mine?

Answer 10

Why would you care about an insulting remark sent to you by a stranger? How you feel about things is your business and no-one else has any right to judge whatever. You've given your correspondent more satisfaction by posting this question than by silently ignoring it and judging their opinions with the contempt they probably deserve.

Answer 11

If that is how you feel, then you shouldn't do it. There are things that all do that someone finds distasteful, that doesn't make you uptight. Is it that someone wants you to be a spectator, or a player on the field? Just curious.