I am a single mom of a 3 year old boy. Dad hasn't been around for months, but now my son is asking where he is... I'm not sure what to say. I don't want the dad around. He isn't a good father and he's not a good guy. I'm just not sure what to say to my 3 year old.
2006-10-07 10:15:41 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You obviously have to tell him something, and you don't want to lie to him...ever. He's at the age where he can and will remember things when he's older. I would tell him that his dad is away and you don't know when he's coming back. That's the truth, right?
You set the example...meaning don't tell him the bad things about his dad. Let him see them for himself. Kids are pretty observant. They watch and they listen...to everything!
2006-10-07 10:35:33 · answer #1 · answered by Joy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have two children that have been abandoned by their father and around Holidays and Birthdays they start with the questions about their dad. He has been gone for 2 1/2 years so I don't expect him showing up anytime soon so when they talk about a memory and ask where he is and say that they miss him, I tell them that I know they miss him and then start up a new conversation. As they get older the less they talk about him. I know its hard, but you will find what works best for you and your little one.
2006-10-07 17:52:44 · answer #2 · answered by Dreamcatcher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your son the truth. I think that's the right approach. Even though he wont understand at this age. I do, however, think as your little one gets older he will probably want to see his father, so i think the father should be part of his life. Your son might not understand why his daddy cant be part of his life and as he gets older might blame you, so be honest with your child.
2006-10-07 17:34:42 · answer #3 · answered by mala 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is best you tell your son that his father is not around. If you lie and tell him other wise, some one may tell him some thing else and he will come to tell you he heard this and that.
You don't have to go through the details of how you and his father got to this point of him not being around. You tell him some thing simple and leave it like that. If not some one is going to tell him other wise as people are malicious when you least expect.
2006-10-07 17:23:08 · answer #4 · answered by Premio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to gear your answer to his mentality and maturity.
I wouldn't recommend lying, but at some stage, you need to keep from crushing the impressionable attributes of his youth. It is like Santa Claus. I am a dad, so of course I know better. But to squash my childs sense of adventure or imagination at an early age wasn't going to happen. So I let it ride, until they told me. Then we talked.
I don't know what to say to you exactly, but cherish that boy and his young potential. Life will harden him to some degree too soon enough, for now, let him be innocent.
God Bless you. I am praying for you right now, 5:21 pm eastern time.
As he matures, the hard truth will be better able to be discerned.
2006-10-07 17:22:09 · answer #5 · answered by David S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that he is gone. Maybe he will stop asking. He wont understand, he might not understand for a long time but it is better that he is gone now than when the child is older. He can get over it at this age. You're making the right choice.
2006-10-07 17:18:20 · answer #6 · answered by Amynesiac 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough situation. Try to tell him that dad had to move away ...which isn't too far from the truth... But that he might / will have to stay where he is.
2006-10-07 17:19:26 · answer #7 · answered by flashpro 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let your child know that his father want be coming back any way soon. Don't you think it is just easy that way? Say nice things about the father and never talk bad about him.
2006-10-07 17:35:07 · answer #8 · answered by winnp1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him daddy loves him, but he isn't able to be around right now. He has some grown up things to take care of before he can come & see him. Like growing up, maturing, becoming more responsible.....
2006-10-07 17:18:28 · answer #9 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth, but don't say anything negative about the dad. It'll come back to haunt you when he grows up.
2006-10-07 17:19:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋