My hubby and I went out for dinner. The waiter made a negative comment about our wine choice. Should he have?

Question

For entrees I ordered a filet with brie cheese and onion compote, my husband ordered duck comfit . We chose a bottle of Bommarito - Cabernet Sauvignon. The waiter gave a little gasp and said that it would overpower the duck. Would you consider that rude?

89/100 Bommarito Cabernet Sauvignon 2002
Napa Valley, California, United States
Produced By: Whitehall Lane Winery
Distributed By: Seacove California Selections
Not quite as charming as the previous vintage at this early stage but the screwcap closure has captured more blackberry, spicy, licorice, black olive and plum aromas streaked with pepper and cardamom. Soft, round, dry and chunky with peppery, black berry, licorice, tobacco, peppery vanilla flavours. Somewhat tannic, rustic finish with a meaty note. START WITH A GRILLED STEAK. Will improve through 2010 in this format. Still fine value.
Last Tasted: 2005-11-19 by AG-ST
Prices: BC $28.99 specialty listing
CSPC: 287409; UPC: 011628222019

Answer 1

Yes. It is crass and rude.

Funny, whenever a wine waiter has made a comment on wine I have chosen it has always been of the respectful "excellent choice" type. I have no doubt that the same response would be forthcoming not matter what wine I choose, but the way it is said makes one feel that one has been very astute in picking some hidden gem, and
I
I am most surprised by your waiters response and it seems rude and a real put down.

I suppose if I were a wine waiter and someone made a choice that I thought would really detract from the meal I could say say something along the lines of 'Certainly Madam, a good choice, but Chef wouldn't forgive me if I didn't first mention that when he prepared this dish he had wine xxx in mind as match".

Of course wine xxx would need to be in the same price bracket.

But I think that if a customer names a wine they want then the best course of action for wait staff is to bring it.

He obviously didn't know you were ITB !!

Answer 2

A negative comment - NO.
If the waiter thought you were unaware of the pairing of your wine and food, he should have said something like "Cabernet is a nice choice, have you considered the delicate flavor of XXXXX?"

If you are knowledgable in wine and that is your preference, your response would be "thanks for the recommendation, but it is our fav wine", and there would be no insult to your choice, but a friendly recommendation.

If you choose that particular wine because you are unfamilier with other wines, waiters are experienced in pairing food & wine and ask him a little about the wine, and give it a try if you want. They are normally pretty good at recomendations.


The bottom line is - no, the waiter should not have put down your choice no matter what but should have been respectful, even if he suggested another choice.

Answer 3

No, I would say the waiter was accurate and, if mentioned politely, trying to increase your dining pleasure. (And he deserved an extra 5% tip, at least!). However, if the waiter was condescending in his advising you he should not have been.

A Bommarito Cab (or almost any cab) with a confit de canard? Quel horreur!!!!!!!!!! ( I feel it was too much of a "bomb" for your brie with onion confit, as well). As expensive as Bommarito is
(did you have the reserve?) it was a complete waste of your money. If I were sitting at the next table and observed I would
probably have stereotyped you and your hubby as naive show-offs. An inexpensive French Cotes-du-Rhone or Cahors would have been a hundred times' better match; if you wanted to stay Californian and spend money without the waiter's grimace a good bottle from a "Rhone Ranger" winemaker, or a Santa Barbara or Mayacamas pinot noir, would have done the trick.

Answer 4

Waiters in upscale restaurants are specially trained to identify which wines go with certain entrees. Generally, fish requires a light-colored dry wine, chicken, a rose, and meat a dry red wine. For poultry, he might have recommended rose or a zinfandel. No, I don't think he meant to be rude, he was just startled because your choice didn't coincide with what he had been coached to recommend. He might have handled the situation a little more tactfully, however, instead of gasping....LOL! You just caught him by surprise...

Answer 5

No, I don't consider it rude. He is probably quite a specialist in the choice of wine to go with certain dishes given it is his job to know the menu and wines associated with it. He will be expected to be able to recommend wine to go with every dish.

However, if he was making a judgement based on, for example, the customer picking a cheap wine, then yes, he was being rude and deserves no tip.

In this case, I think he was doing his job, nothing more. He wants to make sure you have a pleasant meal and this is one of the ways he was trying to make that happen. A good meal means a better tip - if you're happy you'll tip him better. It's in his interests not to be rude.

Answer 6

Wine is such a matter of individual taste. Even supposed wine "experts" do not agree on what wines should be served with which food.

If he felt there was a better choice of wine, he could have said that such and such wine goes especially well with the duck.....

Answer 7

A good waiter should be able to make suggestions regarding your choice of wine. This should be done tactfully though, never in a way that belittles the customers.

Answer 8

I think whoever killed the duck was more overpowering than the wine. Next time you dine out try ordering Buckfast as a wine, that should make him gasp a little more.

Answer 9

He could have suggested something like "Well that is a good wine, but could I suggest a foo blah blah with your selection?" Then you could have said no, you really wanted to try the wine.

Wine pairings are out the window now. Drink what you want! And they should respect that.

Answer 10

Yes, because the polite way to handle the situation is is to suggest something else. Especially if you think something else would go better with the choice the person has made. That's their job as waiter.