How can I get my 4-year old daughter to stop talking so much?

Question

She goes to preschool, so she gets plenty of interaction with other kids her age, but once she's home, she talks CONSTANTLY! I'm to the point where I can't concentrate, and I can't get anything done that involves any sort of thinking. When she finally goes down for her nap or bedtime, I'm so mentally exhausted that I'm ready to cry. Even when she's playing "alone" with toys, she's constantly saying, "Mommy, I'm going to put the blanket on my baby, okay?" or "Mommy, the baby is crying now, okay?" If I don't answer her, then I have to listen to, "Okay, Mommy? Okay?"

It's not that I don't give her attention, either. I daily play board games with her and/or take her to the park, and I often join in and play pretend with her, but when I need some time to myself, or more importantly, time to talk to or help my other children, I get no more than 30 seconds of consecutive silence from her. What can I do??????

Answer 1

I suggest that you explain to her that sometimes Mummy needs time to herself and that she can talk to you all she likes in a while, but she needs to be quiet for the next few minutes.
If that doesn't work then perhaps you can let her play with kids inthe neighbourhood for a while to give yourslef a break.

Answer 2

I think they should have an insane asylum just for parents with this problem. I have a 3 year old and a 9 year old and if one isn't following me around talking than the other one is.
One thing I've tried is the quiet game. This will teach them to STOP talking for a minute than 2 minutes etc.
It doesn't mean your a bad parent when you say this can drive you nuts. Anyone who implies that doesn't have this very, very annoying problem.
Another idea is to just not completely listen and just say "Okay", than keep doing what your doing and when you hear her again say "Okay" again. You'll know if it was really important since she'll come in the room with you if that answer wasn't good enough.
When she's in the other room doing this to you it sounds like she's just making sure your still there. Good luck and they don't grow out of this for years. :O)

Answer 3

don't worry it will pass, by the time she is five or six. but for right now, when you are doing something that you need to be alone for, have one of her friends come over so that she can have someone to talk to. Or maybe, spend some time with her at the park, have her get nice an tried and after, put her down for a nap. So, not only would you be getting some fresh air, it will be good for her and it will be much easier getting her to sleep. Keep in mind that she is only four and needs a lot of attention! Good luck

Answer 4

I think the other options are as good. The girl is developing her communication skills and learning how to express herself. Sure it might be a pain in the butt. Your a parent, it's part of the job. Shutting her up now just might make it that she won't feel comfortable enough to talk to you when it really does matter.

Now on the other side... How would you feel if she had some sort of speach issue or could talk at all?

Be happy that the kid is health and hope that she will grow out of it. Maybe getting yourself a set of headphones is the answer too. Have yourself a little quiet time wearing them like when in the bath tub soaking.

Answer 5

Get a kitchen timer. Explain to your daughter that sometimes Mommy needs time to herself to do something or to help her brothers/sisters. Mommy still loves her, but she can't always talk to her right away. Then, show her the timer and set it for one minute. Tell her when the timer goes off, then she can talk to Mommy. Turn the timer on, and wait with her until it goes off. Practice it a couple of times with her. Then, put her in another room with the timer,and have her practice the same thing, but w/o you in the same room. Tell her she can play by herself if she wants during this time, she can look at books, etc., but Mommy is busy and needs quiet time. Praise her ridiculously if she manages to wait in the other room w/o talking to you. Practice *this* for a couple of days. In a few days, she should be able to play by herself for a bit, without bothering you, and you should gradually be able to increase the "alone" time she has. Just make sure you DO give her your attention after the timer goes off.

Answer 6

Some kids are natural chatterboxes and love the sound of their own voice- my daugter was like that, and still is at 12!
Your daugter sounds as though she needs you to approve of her actions, so it's time to let her know she can make choices on her own.
Let her know that you think she knows what is ok to do and what is not. Tell her you will let her know if you see she's doing something wrong, but until then she should play with her toys (or whatever the acivity is) and then report to you at designated check-in times.
Schedule these times with all of your children where you can sit down with her and hear about what they havedone that day at school, that afternoon, or whatever the case. If your daughter tries and updates you beforehand, remind her that you want to hear about it at your meeting time and that she is doing ok. This way you have time for your other kids and silence for yourself!

Answer 7

That sounds like the stories I've heard about myself at that age, except "okay?" was "Right, mommy,right?" She sounds like she needs validation that she can make small decisions on her own.
Other than that, keep talking to her. I have to admit that I still tend to talk my mom's ear off, but we have developed a strong friendship and she always knows exactly what is going on in my life. I am 17 now and I never had a "rebellious phase" with her.

Answer 8

My kids seem to be the same way (and they're 10 and 12, so she may never grow out of it). She may be 4, but that's old enough to explain to her that you need some time where she plays by herself and doesn't talk to you for a little while. Then when that time is up give her your full attention.

Answer 9

She's four years old, right? You've got several years to go. Then at some point in her teens she won't even acknowledge your presence on the planet for a few years. After that, it's back to talk, talk, talk. My daughter's 30 and we talk all the time and now I love it. She doesn't get much "air time" at home with three daughters 9,8, and 7 months and two sons 5 and 3 and another son due in March, her husband and two foster sons and a special needs brother-in-law in the home.

Answer 10

Thank your lucky stars or God if you believe in him.

Apparently, you do not appreciate what a gift and a gem your daughter is.

Appreciate her for who she is, an intelligent, talkative young star who thinks the world of you and does not know any better yet.

Try explaining to her quietly and slowly when she is in a listening mood that you need your quite time too and that she can have some fun playing mummy to her doll without you. But you may have to repeat this every day for a year God bless her. She is so young.

Enjoy every minute you have with her, for believe me, you never know which day will come where you will miss her and wish she was still around.

Answer 11

Both my girls (8 and 4) are talkers...and sometimes it makes me nuts!! If mine aren't talking, they're making up songs. As creative as it is, it's still gets annoying (after long stretches of it). I just tell them that they need to stop for a while or go to their rooms and shut the door because I can't concentrate on whatever it is I'm trying to do. At 4 years old, she should be able to understand that. It doesn't always work, but sometimes I manage to get a moments peace. Good luck!