This is a regular irritant, but the really annoying part to me today is that she has 2 friends over to play! I was NEVER bored when I had friends over - I was so glad for the chance to have someone over! At wits end, after making several suggestions (ride your bikes, go for a walk, rake the leaves, watch a movie, play in the backyard, play a game, etc) I told her the next time I heard the complaint, I would take her friends home. Do you think I'm right or wrong? =)
I know I'm not alone in this, what do YOU do when you have this situation?
2006-10-07 08:09:18 · 22 answers · asked by shellbugger 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Isn't it amazing kids these days? To answer your title... No you're not being mean by not catering to her... I think that might be part of the problem these days.. kids are soo used to be catered to... brainless tv, brainless videogames, brainless internet.. if something is not doing the fun and excitement for them they get bored..
I think you did right.. if she complains. take her friends home.. When she act appropriately, then her friends can come over...
For me, when I hear I'm bored.. I don't let it get to me.. I say I don't care.. find something to do...
Maybe you could look up some age appropriate activites on the internet and find some cool new thing to do (like have paints and they can go outside and just be goofy.. i dunno...lol)
Keep on keepin on! You go mom!
2006-10-07 08:14:40 · answer #1 · answered by SassySista 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Boredom is good. Not all the time, of course...But not having anything structured to do means you have to think up something on your own. It develops your imagination and creative thinking.
I always tell my kids that if they come to me whining that they're bored, I have millions of chores they can do. And sometimes they really are so bored that they WANT a chore. (And they have some assigned, too, no matter what.)
But they know that if they want to spend the day playing, they better not come and tell me how bored they are!
It's not my job to entertain them all day. (It's my job to feed them, teach them, clothe them, love them, enjoy them, but NOT to be their primary playmate.) And it's not acceptable to sit around in front of the TV or the computer, either. So get outside and play with the dog. Roller skate. Ride your bike. Fly a kite. Dig for worms. Play in the sandbox. Swing on the swings. Get a game of soccer going. Read a book. Draw a picture. Play in a cardboard box. Design a hat. I don't care. We have tons of things to play with, and tons of materials to make things, and I will be the MOST appreciative audience if you've made something lovely or learned a new trick.
Right with you. I don't think it should be catered to.
2006-10-07 15:33:08 · answer #2 · answered by Yarro Pilz 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A case of the single child syndrome.
Sounds like your doing a great job offering suggestions.
But, at the same time without realizing it, your also allowing her to stay bored, because they are suggestions, which she herself has already thought of. She knows all the things she can do.
Here it is Mom.....this really does work....you set up a schedule for her each day.
Example: ...Tomorrow, let's say at 11.00am she rides her bike for 20 mins. Now if she finds she wants to stay on the bike longer, that is up to you. Next, she has to rake the leaves for 20mins. etc. etc. She has to collect the laundry. She has to read a book 15 mins. Don't make the time frame to long. It will discourage her at first. If she wants to do something longer, then add the one on the next time frame to the next day etc. Or you can do a few hours of different chores, then add relax time, such as books, drawing etc.
Bored does not mean bored to a child....it means feeling lost.
It means that "I can do whatever I want" but WHAT. To many choices for some children.
It's like being retired from a job, no one to tell you what to do anymore...you become lost.
By making a schedule up for her, you are also preparing her for life ahead in the work force.
You must be willing to inforce the schedule. You can be slack at times, like saying ok, if you don't want to do this one task, then the the next one coming up on the schedule will have to be done.
Most children need to feel a sense of accomplishment. But the child is not feeling like there is any in the things that she knows she can do. This is a good thing in alot of ways. She wants to be doing something that other's will appreciate, but she has not found the satifaction in doing things for herself. She needs to experience that and she needs you to give her that nudge.
Best of luck Mom. you're a fine mom....obviously, you reached out and asked for help...sign of a caring, loving mom.
2006-10-07 15:45:13 · answer #3 · answered by sweetcitywoman2002 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Need more info, becaue there could be a lot of factors going on here.
If this is typical for your daughter, does she have any sort of attention problems to cause her boredom? Has her pediatrician checked her out for ADD or ADHD? (my oldest son is ADHD, and my HUSBAND is ADD, so imagine my fun!)
Has anything major changed in her life, such as a move, new baby, etc, that would cause her to seek more attention?
Sometimes kids get bored with the same old routine and are hard to please. Try a few new suggestions, ask her what she would like you to do to remedy the situation( this usually works with my kids so I know if it's really just something in particular they're after), or maybe plan a suprise afternoon for her.
If it doesn't appear to be any of these, then have her use her imagination to help you entertain her.
2006-10-07 15:16:54 · answer #4 · answered by suninmyskies 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My son and daughter are the exact same way. Usually they are "bored" with their friends because their friends don't want to play the same things that they do.
But, if she doesn't have friends over very often then she may not know what to do when they are there. Maybe she needs more social skills.
2006-10-07 15:17:18 · answer #5 · answered by theblackenedphoenix 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When my daugther came to me bored I would hand her a dust cloth/broom/vacumn cleaner and tell her to get to work. Consequently my daughter was RARELY bored, I can count on my hand even if I had only three fingers the times in her 20 years of life she has been "bored". Somehow she always found SOMETHING to do...
2006-10-08 01:38:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's nice outside where you are let them find their own amusements. You have made suggestions & tried to help so don't feel guilty. Isn't the saying, "Necessity is the mother of invention" rather fitting in this instance? Their imaginations will eventually take over & they will find their own fun.
2006-10-07 15:18:48 · answer #7 · answered by curiousgeorge 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have no idea.. But I'll be watching for the answer you get! My neice is 11 and complains of being bored ALL the time.. It's like she has to have a stunt show in the living room with monkeys to be amused.. I dont get it...
2006-10-07 15:14:37 · answer #8 · answered by getting large with baby 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask her for some ideas... what will help her not be bored? Let her know that she needs to come up with some ideas and then decide which she wants to do. Let her know if it has to be secluded to a certain area.... her room, living room, outdoors.
2006-10-07 20:44:15 · answer #9 · answered by erinjl123456 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my kids reject my suggestions to combat boredom, and keep insisting they're bored, I counter with "Only boring people are bored" and challenge them to find an outlet for their energies. We're parents, not camp activities directors.
2006-10-07 20:40:39 · answer #10 · answered by Angela B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋