Is it BAD to say NO to kids and their little wants?

Question

I happened to actually watch a decent Oprah last night that was all about parents ruining their kids by not saying NO and literally spoiling them into ruin. There was this little 3 year old up there going off on her mother, a 9 year old who would hit her mother when she didn't snap to attention and do exactly what she asked when she asked, or objected. I was just lke WOW. I would have got the spanking of a lifetime had I tried that as a kid.

Well, a lot of people here seem to find discipline in any strict form too harsh for kids. How would you handle brats of that caliber? Do you already have them? Do you find it hard to say no to your kids? Or, do you give them any and everyting they want?

Kids in my house earn, they are not just given willy nilly. It's a good system. Punishment comes when you break the rules, simple as that. I beleive in the liberal use of the word "NO", and spankings when needed.

Answer 1

Spankings and saying no; That is the question... My thoughts on that is, Spare the rod, spoil the child... Saying no without explanation is never good and spanking/ discipline instills structure and self reliance.

I always used the 3 strike system with my 2 boys...
1. the first time I tell you not to do something or displaying non-acceptable behavior its with reason and warning.
2. The second time if it for the same thing we went over the first time and its done again, there is explanation with discipline and punishment. ( verbal scolling not physical)
3. The third time If you I have to tell you about something we have already went over twice calls for explanation, discipline/punishment and a spanking.. Depending on the age of the child that spanking would consist of a tap on the hand with hand, a tap on the booty/ behind without pants or just one good smack behind their hard head.. for making me go over the same explanation more than 2 times. I would not suggest anyone use harsh methods for spanking but, if you use leather, you're just making their Lil buts tougher. I would suggest using a ruler.. But , you will have to instill some kind of discipline, start in the early stages of child development.. Don't wait until they are 3 or 4 because at that point they already know you like a book and know what your hot buttons are as parents..

Answer 2

Definitely NOT bad...

When or if I have kids, "NO" will be a word they MUST learn very quickly. Children must understand that a "NO" or "STOP", means exactly that. My mother didn't give me everything I wanted and although it seemed like I was going through hell then, I really appreciate it now. She has taught me that not EVERYTHING I see or want out there, I MUST have.

I'm a high school teacher and I see the effects these things have on children as they get older. Think about it, these are the same people we "can't deal with" at work, in the family, on the road, at the restaurant, in the classroom.....

I am a strong believer in punishment (when warranted) and rewards and the useage of the word NO, especially to kids.

We would be surprised at the change in the world if most persons were strong enough to say the word NO...when we should. As simple as the word may seem to us, it's one of the most powerful words we know.

Answer 3

I don't know what I would do if a child of mine acted that way. I have some neices that are absolutely horrid, and yes, it's because they are spoiled. As my son was 'learning the ropes' about how to behave, I often told him "Not this time" at the store if he wanted something. It isnt that I couldnt' get it for him, it's just that I didn't want him to expect something every time we went somewhere and potentially cause a scene if he didnt get it. It worked great and I'm happy to say he has never acted crazy in public, or at home for that matter.... And I dont think he has the audacity to actually try and disrespect me the way I see some other kids do.

Answer 4

I think that it is so ridiculous.There is nothing wrong about saying no. I mean if you don't then you know the consequenes. What i would do in that situation is whoop they a.ss. I mean thats how you were raised right? And look how you turned out to be. and look at the people who are spoiled. They can't cook or clean or do s.hit. All they do is whine. I mean there's people who come out with books on how to say no to your kids. What kind of sense does that make? All you do is say no! What do you have to right a book about it for?You are doing good because if you see it right now most of the kidsspoiled are gonna be pregnant and are probably gonna open there legs sooner because they wont get consequences from ma or pa. and they'll think it's al right. I mean look at us.we are the most fat society the most dirty (pollution) and we are just messed up in the head. So it makes us kids who have sense look bad. Keep doing what your doing

Answer 5

I agree with you 100%!!!! No is a natural part of life. There are times when it simply is not an option to get everything that you want. My kids as well get rewarded for good behavior, helping around the house, etc. They get punished when they break the rules. There are special days when they receive special things, but they never receive everything they want. If they did they would grow up to be the people that we see that we want to strangle on a daily basis.

Answer 6

I believe you have to say "no" and discipline your children, starting at a young age, or they'll never learn to respect you, and other adults. But you also have to reward them for good behavior. My 11 month old had heard "no" for about 5 months now (as soon as he started crawling I started saying it) and knows what it mean, and knows that if mommy says "no" he doesn't touch it, or do it! He also is learning "the look" right now. When he knows he's doing something wrong, he'll look over to see if I'm watching and I'll give him the look and he'll quit whatever it is.

Answer 7

I saw even worse kids last night on Nanny 911. They were screaming,hitting and swearing and you know why? Because their PARENTS screamed, hit and swore. I don't believe in giving kids everything they want, and yes, structured discipline is necessary. But screaming and beating your kids is not the way to go either. Sorry, I just can't get those Nanny 911 and Super Nanny families out of my head. They all seem to spank their kids and it doesn't seem to work for them.

Answer 8

Quite the opposite- Never saying no turns kids into spoiled brats who think they are entitled to anything they want without having to earn it- plus they don't appreciate what they do get.

Answer 9

Although I disagree with spankings, because I think they tend to cause kids to not to do something for fear of punishment instead of understanding why what they want to do is wrong, I think you just answered your own question.

Kids without boundaries do whatever they want. If you love a kid, you'll tell them no.

Answer 10

i develop into babysitting a baby as quickly as and that i could no longer get the little boy to apply the bathing room. He develop into working around all loopy. So, I held the door close and informed him I wasn't going to enable him out until eventually he used the bathing room. He started banging on the door, enjoying, yet then he started crying, yet he develop into leaning on the door now so i could no longer get in. Then he balled, "Why'd you pass away daddy? Why?!! Come baaaaaack" i ultimately pushed the door open and knelt down beside him and asked him if he neglected his dad. He suggested, "He touched me." i'm sorry, it is in basic terms too plenty. I would desire to pass.