i love my 13 yr old nephew; so much so that I have taken him into my home to raise along with his 10 yr old sister, as well as my 8 yr old daughter. I took them in, bc I felt that they needed attention that they werent getting while living with my dad who now has a new girlfriend and no time to spare or spend with them. There mother (my sister) has not had an active role in any of there lives since she gave up her rights 5 years ago and my dad adopted them, but she does come around once a week( but never on weekends "bc she has things to do"). He has been living with me since 8/06, and has been suspended for calling a girl out of her name, plus he's failing some of his classes, and talking back to teachers,all of which are female. The male teachers say they have had no problems with him. I understand WHY he has no respect (bc of his mother), I just need to know a way to gain it without busting him upside the head. I've ran out out patience and talking doesnt help anymore!!!
2006-10-07 04:32:22 · 10 answers · asked by Free_Spirit 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
he needs to get into a program with a male mentor, try spending more time with him to tap into why he is acting out besides his mother, he may need some counseling. This problem will only get worse if you don't intervine . Right now it is verbal you don't want it to get physical.
2006-10-07 04:41:41 · answer #1 · answered by juanandonlyone 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Obviously he has missed having a good mother and now he disrespects all women because of one. "Busting him upside the head" is NOT what he needs. He needs to have a strong, morally upright, loving woman to show him all women are not like his mother. He also needs a strong male role model (a mentor) to guide him and teach him the correct way to treat people, especially women since that is the problem area. If he is living with you, you have an extremely important role to play. You must insist he treat you with respect and be sure you always treat him the way you want him to treat you. He needs a firm, loving, solid mother figure. He doesn't need to hear screaming, cursing, threatening words. He needs kindness, a calm environment and lots of affection. All behavior is learned and he needs to learn proper behavior now so his future will be solid. School counseling sessions would be helpful as would a "big brother" mentor. Ask your local mental health service what is available. Is there a YMCA in your area? Do you take him to church with you? All these things would help you as you attempt to help him.
2006-10-07 11:51:35 · answer #2 · answered by missingora 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A boy that age needs someone who will "get in his face," so to speak -- that usually means an adult male. Someone above suggested a male mentor and I would agree that's the way to go. If he's interested in sports, I bet a good football or basketball coach could do wonders with him. Whatever you do, don't give up on him.
And if he won't go to counselling, you should, if only to learn some coping techniques.
Good luck to all of you.
2006-10-07 11:48:29 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should try and get him into counseling b/c the poor kid has been abandoned by the 2 most important people in a kids life. There should be places in your town that offer free counseling if money or insurance is an issue. You should be able to ask his main dr about where to go. And I commend you for taking him and his sister in. It's going to mean alot to him as he gets older that he had someone that cared that much. Good luck and hang in there!
2006-10-07 11:45:50 · answer #4 · answered by . 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely talk to a counsellor. He should be able to tell you what to do, and maybe he'll have a talk with him once in a while.
It's good that you're taking care of him, and that you care enough about him to take so much trouble to help him. Maybe find a male counsellor who he might trust better that a female one. I don't know, actually... Just go see a counsellor or a psychiatrist. He should be able to help more than us.
2006-10-07 11:42:16 · answer #5 · answered by Offkey 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that not all bad woman are bad in the world. His mother in just in a difficult stage in her life right now and that she needs some time and didn't want him to suffer. Tell him his teachers are trying to help him be a better person. And if he still dosent understand just give him a a.ss whoopen and tell him that your only doing it for his own good. Tell him to prove to his ma and pa that there misssing out by him being good in school and get good grades and if he acts like that then he'll never get the attention of them. It hurts but it's the truth.
2006-10-07 11:43:25 · answer #6 · answered by The REBELution! 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would find a counselor that can help him understand why he feels this way toward females, and help him resolve his issues. If you take care of the issue now, then hopefully he won't grow up to be a husband/father that insults or beats his wife or children. Best to fix it immediately!! Best of luck to you and your nephew!
2006-10-07 11:38:16 · answer #7 · answered by Janelle 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
therapy is all I can suggest. (that and prayer!)
Maybe there are some good books on the subject, I would check amazon.com if I were you.
God bless you for your love and sacrifices.
2006-10-07 11:35:24 · answer #8 · answered by Puff 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ALL YOU CAN DO IS LET HIM KNOW THE REAL DEAL AND DRILL IT INTO HIM AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. IF THAT DO NOT WORK, THEN MAYBE YOU WILL HAVE TO GO UPSIDE HIS HEAD TO BRING HIM BACK TO REALITY.
2006-10-07 11:37:08 · answer #9 · answered by PRECIANA 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
he can also be thinking of his granddaddy's girl friend. but anyways you should tell all girls are not a like
2006-10-07 11:38:42 · answer #10 · answered by dylan's wife 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋