My brother is 58 unemployed and lives with our elderly parents. He and my dad argue all the time. Just 2 weeks ago they argued and then my brother wouldn't fix him anything to eat. When I came in that afternoon to see them, I went off on him and told him to get out if didn't like the situation or our dad. He chose to move back in and as long as he lived there for free and had a roof over his head he had to put up with our dads quirky ways.
He can't keep a job and stays on the computer all day but says he is taking care of our parents. My family is not aggresive and we don't won't to hurt his feelings. He has threatened suicide before. I've taken him to the VA hospital and they put him on meds but he won't stay on them. I've directed him to a local VA office where he can get financial aid and he won't go there either. My mother does not want him to leave which raises another problem. How do you make him realize he needs help?
Terribly FRUSTRATED!
2006-10-07 03:13:25 · 5 answers · asked by Carolyn B 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
It's difficult when it's an adult that's having the problem. Check the laws in your state and see if they have any laws in which family members can force a person to undergo a psychiatric evaluation. (In the state of Florida, where I live, it's called the Baker Act.) The National Alliance for the Mentally Ill may also have some resources you can use. I'm including a link to their website at the end of this answer.
It is frustrating to have a mentally ill relative, I know. I grew up with a bipolar father. I can only imagine how rough it would have been if he hadn't been on meds. My heart goes out to you and your family. I hope you can get him the help he needs. Good luck to you.
2006-10-07 03:26:17 · answer #1 · answered by Avie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, you can't. Maybe you could do this: if he has an e-mail address start sending him info on bipolar illnesses and conditions. He may refuse to read them at first but maybe, just maybe, he'll cave and read something.
The only thing that you can do if you want to do something positive is make sure that your parents are safe as well as their environment. Go over there and make sure your parents are safe. It doesn't sound like you're getting anywhere with that brother of yours so step in their and take the reins.
2006-10-07 03:28:25 · answer #2 · answered by Doodlebug 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. Your parents are the enablers. They enable him to think he doesn't need help by letting him stay with them for free. It is up to them to do something. It's called tough love. It's going to happen eventually, either when they decide they have had enough or when they die. In either case, he will be forced to support himself. If he can't, he will finally realise that he needs help. In the meantime, the only thing you can to is try to convince your parents to make him pay rent. If it makes them feel better to put the money into an account for him instead of taking the money, that's fine as long as he doesn't know it.
2006-10-07 04:48:17 · answer #3 · answered by Gypsy Girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can't. If he is trapped in bipolar, he may never be able to realize he is bipolar, and that he does not have to suffer with that. If he is not in charge of the cooking for the family, then him eating a diet good for diabetics and also for persons suffering from low blood sugar (a possible cause of bipolar) may help. However, if he is the cook . . .
Check out www.hufa.org the symptoms page to see how many symptoms of bipolar and low blood sugar he has. If he gets a fasting blood insulin test and it is high - there is a possibility he may understand that some of his problems are physical and can be helped.
2006-10-07 03:29:01 · answer #4 · answered by Pegasus90 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is 58 and a grown man. Tell him to grow up and get out! Simple as that really. Bipolar is bull, it's all in people's heads. No medication is gonna work. What he needs is a life lesson. So kick him out and make him get a job somewhere. Life isn't easy but you gotta try hard to get on with it. He sounds like a slacker. His parents need to let him go. By the way, a person who threatens suicide, never does it. So I wouldn't worry. It sounds to me like he just want his parents to take care of him in every way and that is not fair on them. Your mom is just being a mom. Don't worry about her either. When he is gone, she will get over it eventually. My mom went through this with her brother so I understand the situation. My grandma treats him like a child and it's all bull. My mom passed away at age 43 so now my grandma lives with me and she has dragged my uncle with her. So I live with both and I am trying to get out of it. Good luck!
2006-10-07 03:36:40 · answer #5 · answered by curious_boricua_soul 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋