Sometimes I feel like I have to choose one or the other - maybe it's my upbringing or being in a small town. Growing up, I was strictly the "nice girl" and waited until I was in love to have sex - which was a LONG time. Too long. Few men wanted to date me because I wouldn't have sex right away. Now I regret having waited and feel like I haven't even begun to really explore my sexuality. However, I am now approaching middle age, most men my age are married, and I'm finding fewer and fewer available people I'm actually attracted to. I seem to attract married men & losers. I feel like if I'd started having sex much younger, I'd be married or in a long-term relationship by now. I don't know how to make up for lost time or choices in the past. I feel like I've gone the complete other direction, now all I think about is sex, my morals have loosened, and I just can't find somebody I'm really into, so I'm frustrated. I don't know how to be both "sexy" and "nice" and find the right partner.
2006-10-07 02:17:13 · 17 answers · asked by Sinner & Saint 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know what you mean! As a Catholic, I grew up hearing that sex was sinful & wrong & I suppose I was pretty much a prude, very conservative & restrained sexually. As I got older & my sex drive heightened (it really was true what they said about women in their 30's!) I became a little more liberal. I still have rules that I live by & things that I consider taboo. For me, I can't have sex unless it's in a relationship but this means I've become a serial monogamist. Going from one boyfriend to the next with no break in between. Because if I crave sex & can only have it in a relationship then I better get into a relationship! I almost envy women that can have casual sex & one-night stands. I've been tempted before but couldn't emotionally handle it. I'm too much a romantic (can't let someone in my body without being in my soul too)...I consider myself a "nice" girl. I don't sleep around. I have strong morals. Yet I'm very sensual. I love to dance. I have a way with words, whispers, fingers etc. I can set someone on fire & leave them breathless. I'm very creative, passionate...without getting too explicit lets just say I can be an animal! But if you saw me on the street you would think that I am (because I am still) a sweet, shy Catholic girl. A good girl. A nice woman.
You don't have to choose. You can be a strong sexual being & still be a nice girl. As long as you're not hurting anyone (or yourself) then enjoy yourself without feeling guilty! What you do behind closed doors is your business. & who is the rest of the world to judge anyway? We are our own harshest critics.
2006-10-08 13:10:25 · answer #1 · answered by amp 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What ever you do, don't compromise your values. You should never regret making thoughtful and responsible choices and that is what you are doing. I too waited for love and I did not date around because I had high standards and did not want to waste my time. I have been happily married for almost 20 years w/ two wonderful children. I really would not change a thing, although earlier I did start to doubt myself because I didn't find my first significant relationship till after college. Hang in there and don't settle. Love will come to you when you least expect it and it will be well worth the wait.
2006-10-07 02:24:29 · answer #2 · answered by mad 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if IF's and BUTTS were candy and nuts..... stop dwelling on the past.. you live in a small town right? your coming closer to middle age... you have no kids not married... you dont live ur parents (i hope)... you have nothing to tie you down...MOVE TOWNS... you really have nothing there...why dwell on the past you could have achieved so much but ur stuck in a small town... whats stopping you from leaving there? work? if u move to an area where you can get a good job maintain a social life and still try and pick up non married men well you have solved your problem... i know its easier to say... but that person who is right for you isnt gonna find you... oh and btw about the sex part taht are heaps of one night stands around the world im one of them but im 19... unless thats not a problem? lol but yeh you cant stay were you are now... feel liberated and move out... you dont want to be known as the small town slut do you?... moving is really your best option... yhou dont have to move far maybe ur capital city or you could move to another town but the worst thing you could do would be moving to ANOTHER small town.
just some words of advice
-dont dwell on the past
-would you rather be old and single and have a run down vibrator? sounds mean but you have to be honest
- think about this small town s l u t ? or city girl (who enjoys plenty of sex.. but there are no labels coz there are heaps of chicks like you in the city)
think about it
good luck
god bless
2006-10-07 02:33:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lady, the first and foremost thing you do in order to improve your love life is to stop wasting your time regreting what you didn't do!!!!
get away from the computer and do something you have never done before and you may be pleasantly surprised(just don't do anything foolish,). even if you don't get a mate out of it, at least you had good fun. most of all, being married or not should not be the only thing that matters in your life. remember, we came to this world alone and will leave the same way. know who you are and what you really want in life. and remember there are more than 50% of those married ones that are miserable!!
2006-10-07 02:27:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi, i just wanted to say that men want a woman who is a lady or good girl in public and a nympho in bed. that doesn't mean go out and bang every guy you can find just to get the experience in the bedroom. Guys want to bring a good girl home to meet momma not a slut.also they want someone that hasn't been around if you know what I mean . all married men want is a piece of *** and they have no bond with you. You always will be nothing more than just a fling to them. So find a guy who you are attracted too who is single and experiment different things with him. i grew up in a very strict and religious home myself.anyway try things like toys to videos to different positions to oral and anal sex if you have never done either or only one of the two. like parents say how do you know you don't like it if you'de never tried it or won't try it. well anyway good luck to you.
2006-10-07 02:34:24 · answer #5 · answered by HHC-TWISTED FKR 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK here is the problem: Most people lack understanding what dating is all about. You make the same mistake most girl in you situation has which let you emotion take over where you should be thinking.
Here is your answer: Dating is like going on an interview. keep your hormone in check and study this person base on his personal history. You can let yourself go after when you get the job. Meaning let it loose to be your true self when you can trust him. you want to build a future with a Strong foundation by not starting with a loser.
love = trust = bond
I
2006-10-07 02:27:48 · answer #6 · answered by Kenshin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to think of i replaced right into a advantageous guy using fact i replaced into helpful, basic mannered and confusing-working. I later found out that my introversion made me look creepy and unfriendly, so as that my efforts and artwork have been continuously overshadowed by making use of a few awkward cloud that made others uncomfortable. It wasn't till I found out the tao of shamelessness that i found out fake smiles and a noisy voice to imitate extroversion, coupled with some blatant selfishness to show that I definitely have some style of ambitious character, will do much extra in the direction of making me look advantageous and approachable than only doing stable deeds, sympathizing with others' confusion or discomfort and/or "not doing recommend issues."
2016-10-18 23:27:43 · answer #7 · answered by comesana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my experience I have to say that the ones that end up being what you really want are the ones you figure you wouldn't ever care about too much. I recently had a younger girlfriend that was "with" everybody. Sure she was fun in bed, usually, but in the long run her lack of self respect and judgement made me feel sick to my stomach.
2006-10-07 02:27:10 · answer #8 · answered by deno 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lady Friend! Quit judging you life by the lives of others, and by hells bells please don't put an archaic time table on how your life progresses. By all means take your sultery self to the sexual banquet and safely indulge; Mr. Mostly-Right is out there in more than one man and if you love yourself first you will most assuredly find him. Be pleased you were born at a time when you had all these options and so few of the stigmas we indured.
2006-10-07 02:25:45 · answer #9 · answered by littlescreechowl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have u explored any dating services? Moving to another city with more choices of men? Dont give up he'll find ya.
2006-10-07 02:25:55 · answer #10 · answered by Skeeter 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋