orthodox communities force marriage on girls by the age 27.i *** frm such a family...howevr i have this inner voice that says i dont wana settle down unless i meet the right person...society is pressurising me against it and the pressure is killing...i dnt know wot to do..im dep
2006-10-07 00:57:27 · 15 answers · asked by Florence C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It is YOU who will have to spend the rest of your life with the man they make you marry, not them... If you don't feel ready to get married, if you don't love the person they want you to marry then GET OUT.
It's your life and you can live it only once.
Don't let yourself be put under pressure, this is the 21st century and there are enough women in the world getting forced into all kind of man-made rules - don't be one of them!
2006-10-07 02:02:43 · answer #1 · answered by julesloveslife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you choose to live in a culture or community, you live by their rules.
Your choice is to either leave it behind and do what your heart tells you, or do what you are told. Look at what the consequences are for both actions and decide what you can cope with. In some cultures this means losing your parents and siblings and friends. Is what you want worth that to you?
Perhaps you should step up your search for the "right" person in your community. There aren't any promises that you will find that person outside of your community and you could possible be alone. The grass is not always greener on the other side, most of the time its exactly the same but you can't climb the fence from that side.
Good luck to you.
2006-10-07 08:55:01 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You never know, you might meet the right person.
In the case that you dont, you are going to have to value your feelings on the subject over your family. You might have to deal with some critisim from your parents but I would rather critism than a marraige to some guy I dont really like.
You treat people how to treat you. If you dont want to talk about this with your parents tell them that and if they push the subjects, get up and walk away or leave. One thing I am just now learning is that, at times, you really need to leave behind the desire to have your parents approval and praise on how you live your life. Sometimes what they want for you is just not for you in this life and you sound old enough to know the difference for yourself.
Follow your spritual beleifs, that is important, but honestly, this desire for girls to be married by 27 seems like it is just religious dogma. That sure doesnt seem like one of the commandments my girl.
Plus, children come from marriage and healthy, happy children come from healthy, happy marriages. So unless you are confident you can do your best to really work at turning a relationship with someone in to a healthy, happy marriage, you ought to wait to say your vows, until you can really mean them.
Good luck
2006-10-07 08:12:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a time you say: "SCREW SOCIETY".
Your your own person. Most of us do want to find the one that is ment to be. If you haven't found him by 27, and that is young, then forget the society pressures, and keep your head up, and live life the way that's been happening for you so far.
There are to many people out there that are just settleing or not even in LOVE. Look at the divorce rate.
Your the SMART one over society, for wanting it it be a sure thing!
Be proud of yourself for having your head on strraight!
YOU GO GIRL!!!
2006-10-07 10:22:38 · answer #4 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, I had no idea. Its impossible to marry just anyone and be happy. So unless this orthodox community believe in divorce, tell them to step back. I dont believe in group religion b/c of the pressure to act and be perfect and to follow the rules that arent what I want or think, so it wouldnnt be hard for me to stand up for my individual self rights. I mean what do they think will happen if a girl is not married by 27, god is not going to send you to hell, people will talk but thats about it. Stay true to yourself.
2006-10-07 13:32:24 · answer #5 · answered by curiosity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me ask you a question...do you want to be stuck in a marriage that you didnt ask for and with someone that you dont want?
...there is no point making a life long decision (and any other decision for that matter) because of other people, at the end of the day, you are the one that has to live with it, so make sure that its right for you.
Pray about it!
I think your asking this question because its going to be hard going against your culture...but sometimes you have to do what you have to do.
2006-10-07 08:12:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This American society can be very vicious. Your family may be your safety net. It sounds as though you want to express your own Independence but may be afraid to stand up to
your family members.
Are you strong enough to stand on your own two feet and make your own decisions, regardless of the repercussions?
Would your family allow you to get your own place, if you are now living with your parents or other family members?
I feel your pain! Listen, I moved away from my parents home at the age of 17, way to soon.
By the age of 21, I wanted to come back, with tears in my eyes. My Mom said NO! My Dad said you wanted to be your own man, SO, be your own man...I love you son...
My conclusion, Respect the LOVE your community is showing, they are trying to protect you from the wolves. Strengthen your self through prayer, THEN DO YOUR OWN THING!
2006-10-07 08:23:05 · answer #7 · answered by xman77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has the right to do what THEY want when it comes to marriage.
Do NOT let anyone pressure you into some thing you do not want to do. Tell them you'll do it when you are good and ready or not at all if you do not want to get married.
Don't be afraid to stand up for what you think. Divorces can be messy.
2006-10-07 08:12:56 · answer #8 · answered by Aliz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THIS IS YOUR LIFE , GIRL. YOU CAN'T GET MARRIED TO SOMEONE JUST FOR BEING MARRIED, BECAUSE SOME COMMUNITY SAID SO. WE LIVE IN THE 21 CENTURY. THINGS CHANGED A LOT. EVERYBODY HAS THE RIGHT TO BE HAPPY AND SEEK HAPPINESS. IF THE PRESURE IS TOO MUCH FOR U TO BEAR, CHANGE THE WAY U LIVE, EXPLAIN TO UR FAMILY UR POINT OF U AND IF U HAVE TO, CHANGE EVERYTHING- WHERE U LIVE, UR FRIEND ETC. WOULD U LIKE TO BE IN A LOVELESS MARRIAGE TILL THE REST OF UR LIFE?
UR GROWN UP PERSON AND U KNOW BEST WHAT IS RIGHT FOR U! STAND UP FOR UR RIGHT OF HAPPINESS!
2006-10-07 10:15:56 · answer #9 · answered by Stella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what you need to do, follow your heart, besides, i'm not putting down your religion but are you in any rush to cover your hair for the rest of your life? especially if it's not for the right person?
2006-10-07 08:30:48 · answer #10 · answered by and now you know 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋