I've known a lady, whom I'm currently living with, over 4 years.
The first 3 1/2 years was purely Internet and phone contact.
December 2005 I decided to move in with her. Almost from the first time I met her live at the airport I begin to get negative vibes that made me regret moving with her and they now continue.
She Loves me to death, but it's definitely NOT mutual.
What should I do, I do not like hurting anyone, but I'm suffering staying here.
2006-10-06 21:38:05 · 18 answers · asked by ccingram19608 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
its really hard i feel u
but u must try to avoide her and go away because its the only soluation she will be hurted for a while but she will forget u after that
2006-10-06 21:40:53 · answer #1 · answered by micho 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well... i understand man. right now u're really in the middle of nowhere. However don't give up.
when we expect more, whatever we get is less. But if we learn to expect less, the samething we are getting might be more. If you know what i am saying.
anyways.. for this matter i would suggest you to try to expect less from her, try to understand her feelings too.... and i respect u for doing that and trying not to hurt her. But , that not the way too. why don't you try to look her and her love in different way , like an audience watching the play. u'll definitely get a new perspective man. and if u couldn't achieve any positive after a real try then... u should talk to her. before is tooooooooo late.
she is a human too she will understand. and about her being hurt. its all time who hurts and heal somebody. dont' consider yourself guilty that u did hurt her or neither considering happy that u didn't.
2006-10-07 04:47:01 · answer #2 · answered by coldfish85 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You KNOW what you should do, quit dragging your feet, and start making plans. Quietly get your stuff together so you can take with you what you need. (Be fair, and only take your stuff). If you are suffering being there, she's prob. not having any fun either. The best thing to do would be to get on with your new life as soon as you can reasonably do so. Try to find a job somewhere back home if that's what you want to do. I'd suggest moving far enough away that she can't make your life miserable. Sorry it didn't work.
2006-10-07 04:46:18 · answer #3 · answered by ANGELa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my friend stay in a relation ship that is not working for you is not the right thing to do you may hurt her but you must move out if it your place then you be honest and tell her the truth that things are not working out between you and her and you would like her to leave she will start crying for sympathy and try to change your mind but the longer you leave it the harder it is if its her place just pack up and go you would be surprised how quickly she will get over you and find someone else do it and do it now your hurting yourself and her by staying dont fall for the sympathy trap women are extremly good at that be a"man not a mouse and move house"a little joke at the end !! from me to you.
2006-10-07 05:03:11 · answer #4 · answered by john h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For heavens sake, don't string her along, if you had negative vibes at the airport then you knew right then, Tell her and leave, she'll be hurt but at least you were honest enough to tell her and she'll be able to start the healing process when you are gone...Or is it a free ride for you???
2006-10-07 04:44:15 · answer #5 · answered by Ladeebug71 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love is the answer to everything. All you ever need is love,
communication and understanding. That's what I figured out so
far. If you are down, you need to get up and start doing something with
your life. Don't need to be shy, be straight forward and allways say what
you want and expect from the others.
=======
If you have the time, and you are looking for someone, complete this simple
form and start dating.
http://**************/go.php
2006-10-07 05:23:11 · answer #6 · answered by b b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out while you can. I was in a similar situation a couple years ago but I tried to push my feelings aside. I ended up in a mental hospital and she tried to manipulate my family and get her hands on my finances while I was away. Fortunately, things never progressed to violence but staying in an uncomfortable and unhealthy situation is bad for both of you. Leave her and you both can have a chance for happiness.
2006-10-07 04:44:07 · answer #7 · answered by Kuji 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It will hurt her more in the end if you stay with her under false pretenses. Be respectful to her when you let go, and let her feel what she needs to feel. You have to realize that you can not control other peoples feelings and are not responsible for them. You are however, responsible for yours. Suffering only builds resentment.
2006-10-07 04:48:57 · answer #8 · answered by LetMeBe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest and tell her that you think you jumped into this relationship too fast, tell her that you are not really happy and would ike to move on, but remain her friend. Let her know that you don't hate her it's just too fast and least you tried, but it's not for you. Don't suffer, just get out, but be honest and caring about it.
2006-10-07 04:45:26 · answer #9 · answered by lisa b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, u need to think about how long u wan to remain in this unhappy state.
It's better for u both to split up cos if u aren't happy, u can't give her what she wants as well.
You have to be cruel to be kind in this case.
2006-10-07 04:55:15 · answer #10 · answered by Beth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋