I am pregnant (22), due in 4.5 weeks. A month ago the babies dad my ex boyfriend (23) kicked me out of his parents house told me he didn't love me or want to be with me anymore. This was literally over night. One minute he said we had made it and we were going to be together forever and 12 hours later he needed me gone. Then he started playing these head games with me saying I want to be a family and then turning around and showing totally different. Recently I found out he is running around with a 34 year old married woman, and he is very far into an addiction of cocaine and alcohol. He denies all of these things of course. He still goes to my doctors appointments with me and the other day and he had a hickey on his neck. Then in the room he wants to kiss me touch my belly tell me he loves me. I told him not to because he obviously doesn't care for my feelings.
He texts me daily saying he loves me and cares about me. He will say we can work this out and then say we will never be able to be together.
HELP!!
Does this seem like the drugs are doing this to him?
Does he really not care for me?
2006-10-06 19:56:59 · 7 answers · asked by JB 2 in Health ➔ Other - Health
Glen f, sorry, no offense, but if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.
JB, I don't know if it's better to say to leave him or to let him go. I know the next few months are going to be the hardest. But so are the next few years. You can't battle another woman plus drugs, plus alcohol, plus whatever tarnishing she's putting in his head especially about you. You guys are young, so maybe he'll "snap" in a year, or 6 or when your child is 14. Or he may never. That really sucks, I know. If he proves me wrong, I would be very happy. I really hope so, and wish you the best. However, don't expect anything, that way you aren't let down as much. He shouldn't be playing with your emotions like that, but, yeah, it's probably the drugs.
2006-10-06 20:18:28 · answer #1 · answered by MoMoney23 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is not committed to you and your baby. Drugs only make it easier to do do the wrong thing. He may feel guilty after he's been a jerk to you and try to make up, but if he really cared, he would be supporting you, saving money so you would have a place of your own as a family. He would be loving you and helping make a place for the baby.
Get him out of your life before the baby gets here or he'll be jerking both of you around and ruining both your lives until he OD's or goes to jail for drugs. Don't let him do it!
Worse things will happen if you keep going down this road! He'll string you along while he has other relationships and come to you as a second string back up.
Get rid of him and find a real man who will love you and your child.
2006-10-07 03:16:22 · answer #2 · answered by Susan M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is a very difficult time for you. I am sorry that you are having to go through all of this, I have been where you are right now not to long ago myself. Yes the drugs can make him act this way but let me tell you this, if he really loved you and wanted to be part of the family he helped to create he would not be treating you in this manner. If he loved you he would not have kicked you out of his parents house or shown up to a doctors appointment with a hiccy or going around with a 34 year old. That is not love. It is scary for you I know but the best thing you can do for yourself and for your baby is cut him out of your life. People who display this habbits often leads to harsher behaivor and most times ends in abuse. You dont need this in your life and most certainly your baby dosnt need someone in there life that is addicted to these kinds of drugs. If you cant make a decion for yourself because it is hard then make it for your child.
2006-10-07 03:12:38 · answer #3 · answered by loverbird20032003 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
uh what the heck was your first clue? Maybe the running around with another woman? or was it the cocaine? I'm not sure what kind of person your are but I'm hoping your wont subject your child to a cocaine addict just because he wants to feel on your belly and tell you he loves you?? That would be a bad mother in my book. If you seriously love this guy & he loves you back, then he would need to go through a AAA & Drug rehibilitation program before i would even consider taking him back. You should go to counseling, are you guys married? I know your pregnant and hormonal, but you really need to wake up & realize that you need to do whats best for you and the baby. And hanging around coke heads isnt one of them. Time to grow up hun...you make the smart choices baised on your babys safty & future. Not on your childish feelings for a loser. If he really loved you and the baby, you would be his first priority & would be willing to do these things for you & your future family.
2006-10-07 03:11:02 · answer #4 · answered by MTE 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry about your situation. Addiction is traumatizing.. to the body but also to the mind. Unfortunately addiction is just as painful for anyone else involved. You don't need the stress of this man around, and I am willing to bet the older woman he is messing around with shares at least one of these addictions with him. He probably does care about you some, and his baby, but he is being very selfish and apparently can't make up his mind. If he can't choose to just be with you, and not feed his urges for other women, booze and coke, then you don't need to be with him. Especially considering he kicked you out, he made his choice, whether he was coked up or not, and if you get back with him he may do it again. Like I said he may care, but a man who really loves you wouldn't do that to you. He chose to do the drugs, and he can choose to stop them. You may try talking to him to convince him to come clean and take care of himself, but I would still distance yourself from him.
2006-10-07 03:24:51 · answer #5 · answered by Moxie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cocaine will make you behave in ways that are hurt full to others. However for your sake and your baby's you should not let him in your lives if he is still using drugs. That isn't he image you want for your child to have of how life should be.
2006-10-07 03:06:30 · answer #6 · answered by loveorlust06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was it a good idea to have sex, grow up.
2006-10-07 03:06:43 · answer #7 · answered by glen f 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋