I tried breaking up with my boyfriend once, but he's gets really sad and depressed every time that I do. I try to tell him that I don't love him, but he denies it everytime. He refuses to believe it! He loves me to death, but I have NO feelings whatsoever for him. I want to get the message across that I want to leave him. How do I do this? (without cheating)
2006-10-06 19:50:54 · 26 answers · asked by monica80 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he's playing head games with you and you keep falling for it...either you keep going around him or you keep talking with him on the phone....thats why he's not moving on...see when you no longer want to be with someone you need to mean it...because if you keep going around that person..it's going to look as if your playing games....now if he has a hard time letting go...well then it's time for you to make some drastic changes...and trust me sometimes we hate to do these things but they must be done...if he is indeed acting this way then you need to distance yourself...stay out of his company...do not call him...do not accept any of his phone calls...because he is a mind player....he will just make you feel guilty...and sometimes those kind of ppl will do everything in their power to keep you from leaving...i wouldnt be surprised if he threatened to do something to himself...just to keep you around and make you feel guilty...you have to be careful with those kind of ppl cause he may hurt you!!!...you need to cut all ties...it may sound a bit harsh but this is the only way you are going to get out of this with a clear mind...if he wasnt having such a hard time accepting that you no longer want to be with him...then i wouldnt be telling you to cut off all ties...but since he's having such a hard time...i think that it is the best thing for you to do....you've tried...you explained yourself to him and he still don't want to accept it...move on and keep your distance....
2006-10-06 20:19:49 · answer #1 · answered by tanya m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you tell him again, and then stop seeing him period. Don't talk to him, email him, text message him, and so on. Just stop all together, but tell him again that you don't love him, and it's over. Now, there is also a problem that you might have if you play the cold approach though.
He might feel really bad, and in the dumps that I'm scared what to say since you say he's like that. How about trying to find him hooking up with a new girlfriend, and dumping him so it won't him. Of course, this is kind of too much to ask.
2006-10-07 02:57:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My guess is...you are being too sensative and not strong enough. You have to gather your self-respect and stop taking resonsibility for his reaction to what it is that you want. He will suffer from a broken heart until he recovers, but that is not your problem. You date so you can find out what qualities you are looking for in a lifetime partner, breaking up is a natural part of dating. Tell him what you want, be kind but firm and then move on. You both deserve happiness, and if you're not happy, either is he. A broken heart is never pleasant, but it does heal eventually. He will most likely always love you, but not all love relationships are meant to last a lifetime.
2006-10-07 03:01:38 · answer #3 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all why would you even think about cheating? Just be open and honest that is what its all about right? Just tell him his good qualities about him and then tell him even though you really care about him you don't love him and you would like to be free to move on and all. Just try to put it in a way that he still feels fairly good about himself and hopefully he will still walk away a friend. Remember breaking up is the easy part it is keeping a relationship going that is the hard part..
2006-10-07 03:00:18 · answer #4 · answered by sammy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be straight up with him. let him know that he's not a ride that you would get on at the park. and if that dosen't work then ignore him. without cheating that's the best rout to take. Don't answer anything, if you happen to see him don't look his way or acknowledge him at all. you almost have to act like he don't exist. Hey it has worked for me. he'll eventually stop calling unless he's psycho then u have a problem.
2006-10-07 03:05:03 · answer #5 · answered by tyramarie26 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to sit him down and talk..and talk..and talk..until he understands. it's better to persist and end it than to lead him on or let him convince you or himself that there's hope.
props to you for being honest and trying, but don't stop until he gets the message.
be sure to do it in a nice way though...if he gets depressed and sad..it's to be expected. but he can't make you continue on if you don't have any feelings for him.
cheating is not the answer, and it's good that you've already ruled it out. just ask for some time apart..and maybe he'll move on. you may have to seriously ignore him....calls, notes, etc. but in the end, he will have seen that you were upfront and honest.
good luck
2006-10-07 02:54:28 · answer #6 · answered by mande 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell him "love is mutual and ours isn't mutual. You love me, I see that, but I'm not in love with you. This must stop. Stop calling me, or I will get other people involved in keeping you away. I'm sorry you are so sad about it. And there is nothing I can do. Now do the right thing and let me have my life back."
2006-10-07 02:56:18 · answer #7 · answered by jennilaine777 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are two sure ways to convey this message:
1. Leave and don't return answer or return his calls
or 2. Sleep with one of his friends.
2006-10-07 03:06:54 · answer #8 · answered by randyken 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
think first why you want to break up with him, i mean your primary motive. it seems that he is a dependent type of person and wants to manipulate you. tell him at point blank that you dont love him but in a nice way. then cut off any communication with him. just be careful he might do something not nice.
2006-10-07 03:02:53 · answer #9 · answered by Rogel D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
introduce him to a girl thats prettier and smarter than you whod be interested in him.
he sounds like he has low self esteem. so try to build it up. make him take up a new hobby or help him find a passion so that hed spend less time thinking about you and more time with himself.
then when u break up with him again it wouldnt hurt so much.
takes time though.
2006-10-07 02:59:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋