English Deutsch Français Italiano Español Português 繁體中文 Bahasa Indonesia Tiếng Việt ภาษาไทย
All categories

2006-10-06 19:33:47 · 36 answers · asked by jennilaine777 4 in Family & Relationships Family

IT'S ALMOST MIDNIGHT! I haven't heard from him since 1pm!

2006-10-06 19:43:51 · update #1

36 answers

There are as many answers to this question as there are men.

When men are younger they stay away from their family because they are asserting their independence. They are looking to establish a new family, a family of their very own, and that leads them to ignore the family they already have.

Later, when they get married , they feel they have to prove themselves as hunter/gatherers and they tend to ignore their new family, because; they are trying to earn as much money as they can to become successful enough to buy all the little things that their family may want.

Eventually they do get to the level that money is not the big motivator but then the family actually becomes a major distraction to itself. The Children are bottomless pits of giveme and Iwant and they are all asserting their own independence and forming their own identities and it becomes a juggling act to see which child gets how much attention and how much time each parent gets to spend with each other and with the kids one on one and as a group. Of Course, friends get lost completely in this situation at this time.

This is normally followed by the midlife crisis, when a man has found success, relationship, and even imortality, and suddenly asks what next. The answer should be romance time, but it seldom is. Men shy away from romance and that sends them back to either the relationship quest, infidelity, or success part, change of careers, or in rare occasions the reestablishing your manliness quest which means trying to have yet another child, all instead of focusing on their relationship.

If they don't end up divorced, the man starts to give into the dark side and begins to appreciate all the love he has been taking for granted all these years. He no longer focuses on the me in we and starts to recapture the togetherness that once was there.

Of course then comes old age and trying to stay out of the doctor's office or the funeral home becomes a major influence in life. You are no longer afraid of death but it does seem to be a neighbor right around the corner. Family is pretty much everything at that time.

Anyway, the theme here is simple, men stay out at a resonanble hour, because; their wants change and time is limited so instead of limiting their time they rob Peter to pay Paul, or George to pay Ringo, because it is easier to focus on one problem or desire at a time than to treat all your problems or desires in moderation. I think it is called immaturity.

The lesson to learn here is be happy for the moments you have together until that point in time when all you have is each other and then you can look back on these times with a sense of accomplishment thinking my how we have grown.


LATER ON:

Some how this question bothered me I the approach I took to it. The simplest answer is that two people have different interpretations as to what is reasonable. I am sure there are times when men are wondering the same thing about women. Some people are just not good at managing their time.

If I didn't know better, and I read this question I'd be thinking that it was personal, and I'd thinking that you are feeling unappreciated at this moment and a bit lonely. Like i said, if I didn't know any better, that is what I would think. In case I don't know any better, be patient and don't think so much about why things are the way they aren't or aren't the way they are, just keep looking towards tomorrow. It will come soon enough.

2006-10-06 20:23:41 · answer #1 · answered by LORD Z 7 · 0 1

The reason is YOU. He is either trying to get away from you, or having fun with someone else becuase you are doing something or not doing something he expects from you, or simply just doing his best to make YOU happy and work really hard and expand his business through socializing...or like they like to call it: networking.

If you think you have a problem in your marriage you have to solve it if you want to stay together. I am reading a very nice book right now. It is called the 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work, by John M Gottman, Ph D. It is by far the best relationship book out there. Check it out. It can help you a lot. And if you don't really have any problems then you can get his other book which is called The Relationship Cure... to strenghten your marriage. I have read every relationship book out there and believe me, this almost makes me want to burn those other books I have read in the past.

2006-10-06 19:53:10 · answer #2 · answered by Luana 2 · 0 0

well there are a few possibel reasons

1 he could have a second job he hasnt told u about
2 hes having an affair
3 hes got a drug or alcohol problem

my brother did the same thing to his ex and it turned out to be the affair and an alcohol problem cept he didnt come home for days at a time

does he take a shower the min he walks in
is the sex life non existant or when u get it does he treat ya like crap afterwards if so hes prolly cheating

2006-10-06 20:06:15 · answer #3 · answered by kissfan1979 2 · 0 0

Honestly!! I dont think any of these people would have the right answer for you.Because youll only see what theyre typing and dwell on them physically and mentally.....Tell your partner when he gets home you were worried and concerned about him not being there on time.Men are considered to be slack when getting home on time.They tend to take there time getting home,then getting to work.
Believe me.And think positive,surely your hubby is just in traffic jam or working a little overtime.You know not everyone is basically home at the same time everyday!!

2006-10-06 19:42:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

there are several reasons. they are they may be busy with their office work. they got bored with their wives. they have some interests in some fields like music, literature, politics. to motivate any person there should be reinforcement and punishment. why should women wait for men? unless there are some genuine reasons, women should stop waiting for men. if the wife is not interested in sex, men avoid reaching their homes on time and if they fall in the lap of some other lady they begin telling lame excuses.women first have to analyze the whole situation and if there is no iota of wrong, then they need not bother when the men come to home.but they should not serve food to the late comers. communicate to your husband how you felt bad and hurt because of not coming to home early and how your children missing their dad's company.

2006-10-08 23:39:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Because he hasn't grown up yet.

My father was like this when I was young. Thankfully he turned into a good father* eventually. I hope the same happens for the man in question... sooner rather than later.

* and good husband.. but to a different wife.


EDIT
I was assuming this was a regular occurrence. If it's a one time thing, there are a million possible reasons.

2006-10-06 19:38:08 · answer #6 · answered by sueflower 6 · 2 0

Specifics s.v.p.?

This is an open ended question that run loops around itself. With specificity, trail by elimination allows for better informed thought process.

In this instance, cause attribution is better described with societal expectations and basal psychological models that would serve to expand the question with abundance, neither necessarily practical nor warranting merit.

Otherwise, exercise, take shower and have proper night's rest without an overly laden stomach. May the morrow yield clearer thoughts and insight.

2006-10-07 09:20:22 · answer #7 · answered by pax veritas 4 · 0 1

Cheating.
Drunk.
Doesn't want to be with his family.
Flat tire.
Hit a deer.
Got pulled over.
Forgot where he lives.
Got lost.
Lost track of time.
Was out buying you a present.
Passed out at his old buddy from high school's house.
Went to the movies and they only had tickets left for the late showing.
Found a lost child and wanted to wait for the police to make sure the kid was safe.
Got abducted by a UFO.
Wanted to see if his wife would post a question about it on Yahoo! Answers.

2006-10-06 19:38:35 · answer #8 · answered by Boodie 5 · 3 0

he is either working. Or....like my X told me that he used to go to work on weekend just to get away from the noise of the kids.

Or maybe there is a gf or maybe your X hangs out with his buddies because he hasn't grown up yet.

Also another reason might be that you do'nt make it a loving attractive place to come home too. Remember the more you give the more you get.

2006-10-06 19:39:15 · answer #9 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 2 0

He wants the best of both worlds...
To party with his mates again and to come home to a wife that doesn't get agro.
Unfortunately it doesn't always work that way.
Ask him (or tell him) to limit the night's out to once or twice a week and to be responsible for you and his family the rest of the week. It's a compromise. Good luck.

2006-10-06 19:41:56 · answer #10 · answered by Bexcy 3 · 1 0

fedest.com, questions and answers