Why is it socially acceptable to ask someone, "Why r u so skinny?" But not so to ask, "Why r u so Fat"?

Question

Some people are just built so that no matter how hard they try, they can not gain weight. Not necessarily to get fat, but just to be of a normal weight for their height, so that clothes fit right, so they could shop in the "women's' section, rather than "Junior's", and more.

All I ever hear about is commercials for diet products, people going on diets, excercise programs, etc...etc... all to lose weight. And I'm sure that the people who are overweight hate being that way, would also like to be of normal weight for their height, etc..

But, it is just as much of a struggle for the thin person, just the opposite way. And it's worse in a way, because people seem to have no qualms to come up and make all sorts of remarks, like, "you need to put some meat on your bones!" "You're just a skinny little thing", anyway, I've heard those plus every other comment of the like you could imagine, like being called "bird legs" or "Nancy Reagan II".

I just don't understand the insensitivity that is so one sided. I could not imagine going up to a fat person and saying the same things (in reverse) that they have no problem saying to me all my life. I know that it would be rude, and it would be hurtful.

So, why is it O.K. the other way around?

This is a serious question. I'm sure that I'm not the only one out there who has had similar experiences. I am only looking for serious, helpful answers. Please.

Thank you.

I just read an answer to the effect that they had recently answered this question before. I just want to let everyone know that I am not the one who asked it, and I appologize for asking a question that has already been asked. I didn't find it in a "search". Please accept my appology.

Thank you.

Answer 1

I am one of those people who is chronically underweight. Insults I have received include: "You look like a poster child for Auschwitz!" "We could turn you sideways and mark you absent!" "You look like a toothpick with an afro!" (I have curly hair). Bone-rack. Play Xylophone on your ribs. Olive Oyl. Stick Girl.

Does it bother me? F-in' right. I fight for every ounce I put on. I LOST 16 pounds during my pregnancy (had my son August 1st.) I know two other women like me, and we all HATE these comments. Really, people, are you all so ignorant that you think we LIKE shopping for size 16 (Children's) jeans? or forcing ourselves to eat when we are soo, so far from being hungry?

With the vast majority of people, especially here in N. America, fighting to lose 10, 20, 100 lbs.... every magazine tells U how to lose 10 lbs in two weeks. None care about those of us struggling to gain even one lousy pound so that we will have more energy and not be the butt of cheap jokes about how we must eat only cottage cheese and celery. I eat more than my truck-drivin' husband - although I have to force it down - and I'm still 5 foot nine and 105 lbs.

Fat bashing is horrible = so is skinny bashing. I would like to smack every woman who says to me, "you're so lucky!" Lucky my (skinny) butt.

(Thanks for letting me vent. I assume you're a skinny, too.)

If you want to share gaining tips, I am [e-mail]. Happy gaining,,,

Answer 2

The fact of the matter is, being overweight could possibly be hazardous to your health, so fat is always seen as a bad thing. The risks are tremendous. Yes, being too skinny could also put your health in danger, but it isn't as common. Not to say that it isn't just as hard, if not harder, for them. When I was 9, I was overweight. I lost 20 pounds! I mean, I knew if I didn't shape it up I would have health problems as an adult. What an accomplishment for a 9-year-old! But the only thing people could think was that I had an eating disorder. I was just disciplined, and focused on my goal.

And the reason for all the weight loss commercials is because this country is struggling more and more with weight. Personally, I try not to care about self-image. I is who I is. As for the comments of other people, just try to ignore them. I'm sure those people would much rather have "bird legs" than be overweight.

Answer 3

I didn't think it was sociably acceptable to comment on either. Maybe because there is a big thing now about obesity/overweight, which is a health concern, and more of the populace seems to have tendencies this way instead of being slim or underweight people feel that making comments about underweight/slimness is OK, but I know people that fight to put weight on and constantly worry about looking too thin, so I'd say people are under the misguided belief that they are probably giving you a compliment, or good advice (which in some cases it may be). But mostly just think comments on peoples weight are tacky and not sociably acceptable.

Answer 4

Some people mean it as an odd sort of complement. Usually the answer is filled with good ideas of how to loose weight and reminds the answerer that their goal was worth all of the work because someone noticed. It never occurred to the asker that it could be difficult to gain weight or that such a question could be hurtful.

I'm sure you have considered hyperthyroidism, and know weither or not you have it. But for those that have not...
http://www.webmd.com/hw/thyroid_disorders/hw149041.asp

Answer 5

Well, if someone is fat and they word it nicely...it could be more like, "can you tell me how you stay slim?" But just saying...you are too skinny and such is just as rude as saying you are too fat. Society just doesn't understand that a lot of fat people can not help this any more than a really skinny person can. All you can do is work to be healthy and tell those rude people that you are one of the rare people that can eat anything and not gain weight! But you realize it could be as unhealthy as being a fat slob or socially rude!

Answer 6

Well no one wants to admit it but being thin is really not socially acceptable. Fat people who struggle to lose weight can't stand seeing a skinny person stuff their face and actually NOT make a trip to the bathroom after eating. Being fat is very acceptable. No one really says anything, and if someone does say something it's considered rude. It can be harder to gain weight than lose weight. To gain weight you have to constanly be eating and avoid exercise. What's more annoying is when those fat people say they wish they had your problem. They don't know what they're talking about.

Answer 7

First off, it is not acceptable. Those people are being very rude. When someone asks you that question, pick the most obvious feature about them (like big nose, small feet, thin hair, too much hair, you get the idea, anything), and ask them in the same offensive manner after answering them that you just are that way.

Example:
Q: You need to put some meat on your bones.
A: Sorry, i'm just built like this, what's up with that road map on your face? (For someone with bad acne.)

Have fun with it!

Answer 8

I'll tried to be serious, but it's hard! Trust me you wouldn't want it the otherway around. Can't you get cutesie and say something like " I know I try and try to put weight on, but while do you know any good ways - beside pigging out ha ha or what ever!

I bet you're not bad looking neither... live with it if your in good health Don't worry about those comments Welcome them for yet another cute statement of Back Off.

ps Dwell on better stuff ..... like view blog on my 360

see RAND Corporation Objective Research


live long

Answer 9

i agree, i too, am very thin, and strangers will come up to me and say why are you so skinny, or do you have an eating disorder....i also have tattoos which immediately leads people to also believe that i am a drug addict..of which none are the case..however, most of the time, people are joking, without thinking about someone's feelings..they think that we dont take offense..b/c socially, skinny is acceptable, fat is not...sometimes, it is jealousy, they are envious thin people, especially those of us who dont have to work on it...most of the time though, i just shrug it off, and figure that i am lucky to be built the way i am, and sometimes i just feel bad for the people that say it with envy in their eyes...but occasionally, if im caught in the wrong mood by the wrong persson..i will answer the skinny ? with...well, ill answer that if you can tell me why you are so overweight...but i try to hold my tongue, b/c i just feel its the right way to be. good luck, and if your skinny without trying, be somewhat thankful...b/c i would never want to have to battle with obesity....hope this helps

Answer 10

It isn't socially acceptable at all! One's body type - whether fat or skinny, should never be commented on. I guess you have to develop some rude comeback - just look them in the eye and tell them they are being rude to ask.

I think the more we call people face to face on being rude, the more likely it is to stop. At least they may not comment to the next thin person they see.