I'm a young mom?

Question

I'm a young mother (20 to be exact) and the people that know me always ask me for advice, and tell me I am such a great mom. When I go out into the actual real world people look at me strange and question me and I noticed it with their facial expressions and so on. I'm 20, married, two beautiful children, homeowner, and very mature for my age. People cannot look past my appearance. I went to the mall today to buy a halloween costume for my daughter, and there was a older mother that couldn't handle her three year old and left her 1 1/2 year old sitting in her stroller by the elevator. I don't judge her, because she probably has a tired boy and she didn't have a double stroller like I have. People like my sister give young moms a bad reputation, but I am a great young mom, but how do I deal with the uproar in society? The judging faces, and the mothers not wanting to play with my son and daughter? I will not cut my hair, wear cardigans, and mom jeans all the time to fit in!

Answer 1

OK Hun first off... I am also a young mom... although I wish I was your age again... I'm glad that I'm not... I'm 34 with 5 kids... my oldest is 15 and youngest is almost 8... and they stair step in between those ages. I know exactly what it is you are going through... been there done that!!
You don't have to change for any one!! just be who you are, and be happy with that! The only reason anyone is looking and giving disapproving looks is because they are wishing it was them at your age...lol just be the best mom you can be... and forget the rest!!!

Answer 2

Hi, I sort of have the same thing. I was 21 when my son was born and to be honest with you I looked about 14. I have always looked younger than my actual age which a lot of my friends and family think is great. At the moment I am 25 (will be 26 in January) and I also have a daughter now. My son joined preschool recently as we moved to a new area and there was not one where I used to live and the looks I got when I walked in with my soon to be 4 year old son and my 1 year old daughter. All the other mums there look older and they all talk to each other and just look down their noses at me like I am some very young mum with two children. I recently had someone say to me that they thought I was 16 and they said that that was being generous, you should of seen their face when I told them I was 25. I sometimes find it hard the way people judge me but the way I see it is my children never go without, we have so much fun together, I have bags of energy too so dont worry about what people think. I have got past it and so can you.

Answer 3

i'm 40 3 and that i have 7 little ones(and one on the way). i develop into 26 when I had my oldest. My best concern develop into even as human beings might want to be nosy and tell me how I could boost my own newborn. There are concerns that i think very strongly about in the upbringing of a newborn and that i did not like even as human beings interfered without my asking them for suggestion. After the first 3, this particularly a lot stopped, it quite is sweet. i look somewhat older for my age, so even as i'm out with my 3 twelve months previous human beings anticipate i'm her grandmother. There are professional's and Con's both procedures, i do not imagine age (i'm no longer speaking about teenage moms..kids,do not get any options) makes a distinction on how good of human beings you'd be.

Answer 4

As you get older you will care less about what other peope think. And when you are older you will brag that people thought you were too young to be the mom.

I am 56 yr old. When my oldest son was a baby I had somone sales man come to the door and ask if my mother was home. I said>"I am the mother" I still chuckly over that.

Now my son is 31 yrs old. I was in a store once and someone thought I was his wife. I said no I am his mother.

When time passes you will look back and smile about all these things . A good sense of humor will take you a long way.

If anyone gives you a nasty look, just smile with confidence...you know who you are and you know that you are a good mom.....and pooie on them for being judgmental. It is their problem. Don't let it become your problem.

Answer 5

Your children are the most important people in the world, and they can be smarter than some out there who look at and judge things that they do not fully understand. How can others know the kind of person you are or how capable you are as a parent when all they have done is see you? They have no right to judge, and their opinions should not bother you in the least. Don't cut your hair. Don't wear cardigans. Don't wear mom jeans. Just be you. There should be no 'fitting in'.

Answer 6

I had my first daughter when I was 18.Now I'm 33 and my seven children have everything they need.When I was 20,people looked me a little strange with my 2-year-old and a big belly(my second pregnancy).But for eveyone I was a great person and I still am.People saw me many times handling with life and admired the strong personality a peson should have to cope with everyhting.I don't say I was strong but I felt great for having my sweet children,a nice husband(which a year ago I divorced with) and...a loving family.Even though I was os young,I had the support of my close friends and relatives and I went through it.My advice?Don't take any notice of these strange "looking" and just be happy with the great life you have.Good luck!

Answer 7

You're a young mom who feels insecure for some reason. Whatever looks you get seem to be interpreted by you as questioning your ability to handle children, or if you're so smart, how come you have kids. First, why do you care what they think? You have your stuff together, right? Second, what's your sister got to do with it? You're two different people, even if you are sisters. But, you are comparing yourself to your sister, why? I know it makes you feel good, but why compare? It's like comparing Einstein and Rembrandt. They were both talented at something, but it wasn't the same thing. Good parenting is a talent, aided by teachings and an ability to apply the lessons learned. That you're willing to share what you know is a wonderful tribute to your ability to "mom." Mothers always try to share their experience with their children, and in a larger sense, with others. I married a "mom," and she loves children, cares for me, and sometimes wonders about how she affects people. She is the best thing that ever happened to me, and your husband probably thinks that of you. So, your children love you, your husband loves ou, you have friends who recognize your talent and respect your opinions in child-rearing, and what was the question? Oh yeah, should you conform to a stereotype you imagine is being applied to you? No.

Answer 8

hi. i just want you to know that I am a young mom too. I have a baby boy at the age of twenty two. Sometimes, I feel the same as you do. However, I choose to ignore those people. I mean, why bother? Remember, no one can make you feel bad without your consent. Don't mind what other people think or say. Fosuc on being a good mom. Prove to them that maturity and motherhood is not directly related to age..:) Cheer up, okay.. I appreciate your strength to carry on a very challenging responsibility at a young age..May GOD bless you more...

Answer 9

i understand exactly what you go through. i have four children and started having them when i was 19. i am 25 now and it seems like society looks down on you like you are stupid and irresponsible. as long as you are taking care of them and not the state, why not be a mom. i guess thats just the stereotype. but i dont wear the mom jeans or drive a mini van or wear the mom doos......i get snickers all the time when i pick up my daughter from school. trust me, even though you are better than some of these older mothers this is what you will deal with. just find some younger moms to colaborate with ...all though i havent been able to find any...maybe you can ...good luck and dont let society get you mad like i let them

Answer 10

Why do you assume you must cut your hair, wear cardigans and mom jeans? What does any of that have to do with being a good mom? I'm 32. I'm expecting my third child. I feel I'm a very good mom. I wear jeans or cargo pants, t-shirts, converse shoes, my hair is black with pink and purple stripes, I have more than 17 piercings and three tattoos.

I'm not aware of any decree that states a mom must adhere to a certain dress code to be considered a good mom. I'm not aware of any uproar in society against young, 20-something moms. I've not faced a problem in my community. I run a home business, I coach cheerleading, my kids are involved in sports. No one seems to think anything of my appearance. I have faced issues with other moms who are part of the our local home school group. I home school my kids. I admit, I do not fit in with these moms. But we just have little in common and most of them stay clear of me because I don't attend church.

It seems to me that you are too worried about what other people think of you. These facial expressions you describe may be in your own mind. I seriously doubt people are judging you as much as you think. If you really think you are being judged that much you may want to look within yourself. I think it may be that you are actually judging yourself and then projecting it on everyone else. Relax. Accept yourself and stop worrying what everyone else thinks.