He's a great guy and I don't want to hurt him, but he's not right for me. What should I say? Should I use the fact we both just started college?
I've broken up with guys before, but they were jerks. He is an absolute sweetheart and I want to still be friends with him.
2006-10-06 18:25:53 · 19 answers · asked by Anastacia C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The first sentence of your question says it all... You are a great guy, and I don't want to hurt you, but you are not right for me. It does not get kinder and more sincere than that. Chances are that you won't remain good friends because most guys are looking for a bit more, but if you let him down easy there won't be any problems for you. If he is a great guy then he will catch the eye of someone else and then you won't even have to worry about the "can we still be friends" line. Just be honest with him.
2006-10-06 18:34:51 · answer #1 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing is here is that you think he is a 'great guy' but in dumping him you will be having a stab at his ego and self esteem. When breaking up with him, don't say 'i think you're a great guy but...'because he will not be able to comprehend why you were dumping him if you thought he was so 'great'.
What you should do is tell him that you don't feel the same as you did before and that you need to concentrate on how things are going to pan out in college. You could tell him that you're entering a new faze in your life and that it requires that you need some independence.
Its natural that you may want to be friends with him later but that's not your decision to make. If you do dump him let him know that when HE is ready, not YOU, you would love for him to be your friend. He may say that he still wants to be friends but usually guys will need time to accept that you don't want him as a partner anymore. It won't be easy for him to see you with other guys or just seeing you in general will always bring back feelings he has for you. You need to give him space and if he is mature enough he will eventually continue his friendship with you.
There is no easy way to dump someone but their are things you can do that don't hurt the person involved so much...
2006-10-06 18:42:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, here is my humble opinion on this question, missy.As soon as I read the word "dump" I knew that all that followed was a crock of s**t. If you thought of his feelings at all, which you do not, the word 'dump', which, FYI, is a serious put - down, would not be here. Nice try, honey, but go ahead and Dump the jerk, he will thank you one day. As for being his friend, are you kidding? After you "Dump" him? Sure, all of my friends insult me every chance they get, I mean that's what friends are for, right? For abuse. You sound like a real 'catch' darlin'. Try this one on; have your 'friend' hang out with you and your new bf, maybe drive the three of you to the local club for a few beers, eh? He has to drive, 'cause you two will be in the back "discovering" each other. Sounds like a great time to me, right,guys?
2006-10-06 18:39:53 · answer #3 · answered by Raptor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter how you break up with someone, it is going to cause pain. Do you two go to different colleges? If so, you could use that as an excuse, but maybe you should try to be honest. The whole "I want to be friends" line won't work. He may have feelings for you and if you went out as friends, then he would get his hopes up.
Just remember that sweet guys are hard to find, so make sure you really want to break up with him!
2006-10-06 18:30:15 · answer #4 · answered by torn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him what you told us, he's an absolute sweetheart, and you'd love to remain friends - but you don't feel it's right to keep going forward in this relationship when the two of you aren't right for each other as a couple. if he's such a great guy, he should be able to understand being as he should have seen it coming as well.
2006-10-06 18:30:56 · answer #5 · answered by Brittany 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he is really a great guy but not the right one for you for a serious relationship, just let him know that. Do not lie to him if you want him for a friend. Ask him what type of person is he looking for to start a serious relationship or to be his soul mate? Let him know that what he is looking for may not be you but you will help him find her.
Good luck.
2006-10-06 18:33:27 · answer #6 · answered by geri11066 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The College issue could be a stepping stone, as long as you are both not going to the same one. Tell him you aren't comfortable with a long distance relationship, but would like to remain friends.
2006-10-06 18:36:49 · answer #7 · answered by Michael R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you just told us...
"You're a great guy and I don't want to hurt you, but you're not right for me."
We LOVE the truth. Besides, if you don't give him the truth, he's gonna' bother you for a month wondering why you broke up with him!
Good Luck!!!
:)
2006-10-06 18:28:37 · answer #8 · answered by Boodie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him straight up... dont make excuses because he might think that u mean to get back together with him after u have been through a few semesters at college. yeah it may hurt him just a lil but if u are completely honest with yourself, then nothing will go bad between u and him after you break up
2006-10-06 18:32:41 · answer #9 · answered by airjmeder92 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but that's impossible. If the guy actually claims that he's okay with the breakup and just wants to be friends, he's lying - it's just a way to keep a claim on you.
2006-10-06 18:30:36 · answer #10 · answered by felonius_monkey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋