My 18 year old sister confided in me that our step-dad who raised us since she was four gave her an inapporiate message (he started on her back went down to her thighs and wrapped around to her stomach) She doesn't want to tell my mom because she wont believe her (which is probably true, I know from my past experience with her with this sort of thing even though ther was evidence). She says she'll never talk to me again if I do. She doesn't want to move cuz she starts college in Jan. and they'll pay only if she lives with them untill then. The whole situation makes me sick and I don't know if I should tell my mom even though she won't believe us and my family will probably never talk to me again and if there's any legal action that could possibly be taken?
2006-10-06 17:53:22 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Oh I'm 21 and have lived on my own for 5 years... I'm states away with my own family now...
2006-10-06 18:16:32 · update #1
Without proof, there will nothing legally that your sister can do. If she were smart, then she would set up a hidden camera. She could contact the authorities, but it will be a case of he said/she said, because you KNOW he will deny it.
About telling your mom, if she has shown signs in the past of not believing, then I wouldn't go pissing your sister off! She is 18 and it should be her decision when to tell your mom. You've taken a big step in helping her by just believing her. Help her set up that camera and just be there for her. If he thinks he got away with it this time, you can guarantee that he'll try it again. Stay strong! Good Luck!
2006-10-06 18:01:13 · answer #1 · answered by Christy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know from a personal experience, that if you make the decision (of telling your mother without her knowing/consenting) she will resent you forever. These experiences will never leave your sister, I know this first hand....but she can take steps towards healing. I agree, have her call a hotline so she can hear someone elses opinion other than her sister's. I think it's very upsetting for her to live with her step-father who abused her...for college tuition. I know what's that like....my mother and I live in a house that her parents pay for-and her father abused us both.....it makes me sick, and I've threatened to leave, but she sees no other way. I think you should be sensitive to the emotions she will be experiencing as she begins to process the pain of the event.
2006-10-07 02:02:12 · answer #2 · answered by Erica 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck. My mom didn't believe us either. She moved out for a month. Then moved back in when people started asking questions. I was married and had a daughter when I told her. I had a mental breakdown during this time. I got the chance to confront my step dad. It was the scariest moment in my life. I told him if I even suspected him touching my daughters, I would call the police. If that didn't work I would make him pay. I was to young to know anything. As far as legal, ask a lawyer or call the police and ask them. Good luck
2006-10-07 01:05:11 · answer #3 · answered by toricp3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could you say you would like your sister to come and live with you till she goes away to college because you will miss her, while she is away, and that would be good bonding time for you and her ?? that would be a way to get her out of that situation, and not start a family fight.. but your step day does need help and needs to be ratted out.. he is one sick puppy !!
2006-10-07 01:16:41 · answer #4 · answered by nannyj37 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't think you have enough to tell. Did he molest you?
I think you should talk to a local confidante such as a school counselor, pastor or older friend. But understand that what you say is heresay. You did not observe any inappropriate behavior, so no one is going to act on your word alone. Your sister is n adult, and is able to act in her own behalf to report this man to authorities if she feels that he has made unwanted sexual advances.
2006-10-07 01:00:14 · answer #5 · answered by seeitmiway32 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister can take legal action, but she is an adult and there isn't much you can do. Be there for her. Don't tell your mom that is her decision. However, she should b able to get money for school in one way or another. She can't put herself in harms way for the next few months just to get school paid for. I would try to talk her into telling you mom. But it just isn't your place to do that.
2006-10-07 00:57:54 · answer #6 · answered by Kellen's Mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both need to stage an intervention with him. I know it's hard but if you both stand up to him, he will not have a chance. Tell him you will call the police if he tries anything again. As for your mother, her first duty is to protect her children. She is worthless if she doesn't do that. Can your sister move in with you?
2006-10-07 00:58:59 · answer #7 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your sister should never be alone with your step father.
You and your sister can make a agreement to not let each other be alone with him until she goes to college. Then you will need to find some way not to ever be alone with him.
2006-10-07 01:12:58 · answer #8 · answered by Pam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father sexually abused me from age 8 to 17, i would tell her to call a hotline and speak to someone that has no ties to her family and maybe after talking with someone she can build up courage to say something, this will haunt her forever, tell her to make a difference.
2006-10-07 00:58:07 · answer #9 · answered by fourcheeks4 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if u have a crimestoppers in your area you can use that. if not the abused is the only one who can goto the police.
2006-10-07 01:17:33 · answer #10 · answered by chronic_alcholic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋