This is a very hard thing to say, but, my husband let's his daughter act like the woman of the house when she is here. I am 30 years old and she is 12. She tries to tell me how to take care of my 2 year old son and what I should be doing when she's here. When I tell her that I am the mother of my son and I don't appreciate being told how to raise him, my husband yells at me and repremands me in front of her. It's starting to make me resent this little girl. Help, any advice?????
2006-10-06 17:40:38 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
When my husband repremands me, she is smiling her a** off. She loves it.
2006-10-06 17:41:32 · update #1
I have talked to him and he says that she has a hard life with her mom and for me to "Deal with it" and for me to act like the adult.
2006-10-06 17:44:03 · update #2
I'm also 7 months pregnant with a little girl and he told me that it's okay if she resents this baby and our son.
2006-10-06 17:47:29 · update #3
I'm a mother and grandmother and have been there done that. This child is acting out , because your husband allows her to do so. She has no respect for you because your husband shows you no respect , as his wife or the mother of his son. And until he does, things won't get better. You shouldn't resent the child, you should resent your husband. He is keeping your house divided. This child may feel she has to be in control out of jealous, because she thinks you've taken her fathers affections. Include her in your family activities and let her know that she is family in your home . Set time aside for just you and her and do something she enjoys or discover something new together.But make it clear that when she is in your home that you are the adult, and make it clear to your husband also. He should respect your judgment and until he does, things won't get better. A house divided falls.
2006-10-06 18:06:02 · answer #1 · answered by hope 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You and your husband need to get on the same page, and to do that you need to talk when the little girl isn't around. Of course, your husband will be defensive -- it is his child you are talking about, after all. But, if you don't begin working through this problem now, it will just get bigger, and you'll feel more resentment. Instead of resisting this little girl, maybe you need to invite her to help you with your 2 yr old. Maybe that will help both of you to have something in common.
2006-10-07 00:43:51 · answer #2 · answered by tsopolly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him. If he's seriously going to be that way, Leave him, take your son, and leave him. He cannot do that, theres no love in that. A 12 year old has about as much sense as a brick wall with a picture of Jessie McCartney on it. Let her know who is boss, and tell her if she really thinks she knows best about raising kids, then tell her to raise the 2 year old for a week and see how she feels about it.
2006-10-07 00:42:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its obvious that his daughter has been getting her way even before you came into the picture. Since you noticed that she gets pleasure from seeing you receive the "punishment", don't play her little game. You know what is right, begin talking with your husband about your problems in private. That way the daughter will not be involved in your adult conversation. Remember who is the adult in any situation and remind your husband that she's a child and she should stay in a child's place.
2006-10-07 00:49:01 · answer #4 · answered by cuttiet03 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a load of crap...clearly you have to stand up to both of them. Stand your ground. It would be a good idea to get both of them in the room at the same time and talk it out. You are the adult and not the 12 year old. The kid should show you respect and your husband should have sense enough to know that.
2006-10-07 00:45:19 · answer #5 · answered by Mav 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've gotta tell your husband that you don't appreciate the girl acting as if she's the head of the house. If you don't talk to your husband and lay the law down to him then he'll keep giving the 12 year old more and more power.
2006-10-07 00:43:37 · answer #6 · answered by sweetdollツ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's hard, I've heard this kind of thing before. You are going to have to let him know how you feel and that he can not disrespect you in front of her. The reason he acts this way is because he more than likely doesn't see her on a regular basis and feels guilty about that which is why he lets her have her way. The fact is that his guilt can't be the cause of his disrespect towards you. Let him know it's becoming a problem and give him the opportunity to fix it, if he can't then you will have to seek more serious measures. Sorry you have to go through this.
Best Wishes!!
2006-10-07 00:41:55 · answer #7 · answered by poetic princess 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My wife and I have 7 in the house. 5 hers, 2 mine, and I have four with their mother (not living with us). First thing, the "Adults" have to unite...period. He clearly doesn't give you a fighting chance. I'd have resentment to, but not at her, but him for allowing this to happen. You'll never achieve what you want with that combination. I respect you for putting up with it, but I couldn't handle it. In the relationship as a family, the husband and wife have to be first to raise, love and sustain the family together.
.......good luck
2006-10-07 00:57:57 · answer #8 · answered by alwhisman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she resents you a little bit and is not OK that she is acting this way. Your Husband is not doing her any favors by allowing this, she needs to be disciplined by her father since he won't allow you to. Perhaps you could try marital counsellling.
2006-10-07 01:01:40 · answer #9 · answered by aliciarox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I kinda been through what your describing. My stepdad was letting his son control everything didn't matter what it was he'd let him do it. He was just afraid that he would wanna come see him anymore thats why he was letting him get away with so much ****. Finally my mom said its him or me. So they got him so serious help and now he lives with his mom which is a low life that doesn't want him either. Bratty kids suck.
2006-10-07 00:56:19 · answer #10 · answered by Jenny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋