What to do when she says she "needs some space".?

Question

Classic question, I know, but it has some twists. She said this after I moved to another city, stating that an "exclusive" long distance relationship would be too hard. Doesn't want to cut it off, just give it distance. Ok, I can live with that. Lots of people I can see in my new city, but...then she gets sick. Endometriosis. Threatens her ability to have kids, hurts, makes her tired all the time. She needs me, she says. She wants me to support her unconditionally. So I try to, knowing that she is considering other guys, dating, etc. I drive back 1,000 miles every other weekend to be with her, but I sleep on the couch and there is little or no physical intimacy, as there was before. I'd like to "move on" if she's not serious about a LT relationship, because I am ready. I don't know how serious she is and right now, she's too caught up in her illness to give it much energy. Help.

Answer 1

Give her more space, about the sickness, does she not have realitives that could be there for her? But hey at least she thinks highly enough of you to ask you to be with her during her defacult time.

Answer 2

Don't stick around if you don't think ne thing is going to come of it. If she is seeing other men don't try and win her back. Just leave her alone and if she relizes that its you that she wants to be with she will make an effort to try and get another chance with your heart. But move on and get another girl. It looks like she isn't to serious about relationships right now or she would have a good tight one with some one. Don't drive back and forth but doen't make it seem like you don't care. Give her a call and see how she is doing and if you absolutly need to go see her. Then do it. But you have a life and it doesn't revolve around her. So go to a couple parties and find a girl that really wants you in her life and have fun. Good luck

Answer 3

I don't understand this, she needed space and you after you moved to another city. Most of the time when someone needs space it's because something is not going right in the relationship and someone wants to rethink or see other people to figure out how they really feel about their partner. Now she is ill and still need space, she has space you live in another city! You sounds like she has some thing going on not another person but maybe some thing within herself that she is dealing with. I would move on, it seems like she would need you since she's ill, but she can't treat you like this, your their for her but she wants you only part time that is not fair. I think you should move one, it seems like you care about her a lot since you drive so far to be with her, but she doesn't really want you since she's sick and still feels the same way.

Answer 4

She is using her illness as an excuse. There are many people that have illnesses much worse than hers and they live life to the fullest. She is also just using you for emotional help she is afraid that no one else will put up with her acting the way she is. Leave her alone for a while tell her that you need sometime to yourself. She will either realize that she wants to be with you or not then you will know for sure.

Answer 5

She would be lucky to have a guy like you. This is what women call commitment. 1000 miles Dear Lord! You know what? She initially requested distance. Give it to her. I would like to request one thing though. You sound allot like I was. You need to do a quick self eval and assess if your a savior personality. One who needs to help those down and out. Those who suffer from illness or other problems. This may seem like a great personality trait but sometimes it backfires and you just end up burned out. Don't get me wrong if you love her then work it out, but like I said I see similarities. Ones that aren't too healthy. Good luck

Answer 6

Endometriosis, while unpleasant, will not kill her. Please do some reading on it, I cannot imagine why she would need you to to stay with her every weekend. Two thousand miles a weekend?

Put her aside and think about what you want here. Is this how you want to be treated? This girl sounds like she wants her cake and to eat it too, and she's using you.

Say goodbye and move on, she isn't in love with you.

Answer 7

She is saying confusing things.
Think she doesn want to let go of you as a security blanket, UNTIL she finds someone else closer to home. You mentioned she is lookin ard for other guys, so where's the commitment in that? She has already cut it off, just that she doesn want to say it openly. You are just there for her.. she doesn want u long term... if not she'll hang onto you tightly.....
I think it's quite complicated, but my advice is to just end it with her in a clear-cut manner. Don't let her hold u back from being a better r/s

Answer 8

Driving the 1,000 miles isn't worth it and as expensive as gas is today, there are better places to go to. Sorry, but if I'm going to drive that far to see someone, they better be putting out and I'm not talking about blankets and pillows on a couch.

Answer 9

I would tell her you just want to "be friends." Another classic I really enjoy....hehe....You need your physical intimacy that you're lacking with someone. She just needs emotional support when she isn't feeling well. Why not just be friends for now and see how it goes? In the mean time, you can be finding another girl and she can do what ever she wants to do. What do you think?!

Answer 10

Let her get better from the illness and be straight forward with her. Say you've done all these things for her, and you need to know now if she truly sees you as more than just a nice guy. For everything you've done, she should be glad to have someone like you.