i have tried hinting that i have not been so ... innocent in the past, but have not gotten any results. i dont want to push him. i think he is ready for it, but he doesn't realize that it's okay fr him to grow up in this way. he hasn't had many gf so he is worried on how to act still, he loves me so much he is afraid of messsing somthing up. HELP!
2006-10-06 16:34:53 · 24 answers · asked by Fi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'll be honest with you, I once had a girlfriend that was exactly like you.. in the way that she tried to pressure.. well not literally pressure me, but you.. she would try to get me to do "Those" things.. but the thing was that I wasn't ready... and you know.. I guess she couldn't take that.. and she left me.. but you know.. if you really like the guy.. if you LOVE him.. then you will wait until he's ready.. I tell you because of experience.. It took me about 3 months to actually start doing "Those" things with my current g/f.. and hey!! I felt completely comfortable with what I was doing.. and my advice to you.. is to just wait for him.. wait until he's ready.. OR
do this... ask him... what's the furthest that you will go with a girl?.. and you know.. just have a conversation.. don't ask him if he would do those things with you... but just converse with him..
I know it will be difficult to start a conversation like that... so you might start.. "hey!! my friend... blah blah blah" friends are always good excuse to get conversations started.. but you know... DON'T ever talk about your past relationships.. NEVER that would make him feel uncomfortable.. and you know.. I guess you could tease the guy a little bit... lol.. tease him to the point where he can't take it... it almost always works.. lol.. but you know..
just wait for the guy.. don't ruin something that you truly care about.. and like I said.. give him his time.. he will slowly have the hurt to do that... wear short skirts.. wear really showy shirts.. ONLY when you're around him.. to get the heat going... that certainly tempted me to do "Those" things... lol...
2006-10-06 16:49:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Weirdly enough I always relate issues like this in relationships to a wrestling team I was on. When training we all had to stay with each other. We had to push ourselves to grow stronger independently, while sticking together. We had to go for runs, and we set our pace to the tune of the slowest of the pack. This kept everyone going strong, without making the slowest stick out and feel bad.
When it comes to things like this, you have to set the pace for the slowest person. In a relationship respect is a huge issue, and I know you want to push forward, but the fact is you can wait, and perhaps he cannot move forward. You have to respect that. Communication is also key. It can seem kind of corny always discussion everything, but in the long run it becomes the glue that holds relationships together. Discuss why you want to go faster, and let him discuss exactly why he wants to take it slow. As a couple, you'll find a pace that works for both of you.
2006-10-06 23:45:06 · answer #2 · answered by andy_pann 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well just give him a bump start and he'll take over sure enough.
its nice to see he respects you in that manner. now that you are ready, you are going to have to get a bit wild. there is no way out of it if he is insecure for some reason.
I was this guy once with a girl in college when i was a freshman in HS. I respected and loved her so much, I was scared to make a move even in the face of her clueing me. If she would have taken physcial initiative it maybe would have been a bit more significant and I would have unleashed what I was holding back for her also then and there.
2006-10-06 23:42:29 · answer #3 · answered by jorluke 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never push another person into something they are not ready for. This will only cause him to have resentment towards you later. Allow him to be the person that he is 100% of the time. That is a healthy relationship. If you are trying to change him perhaps he is not the one for you. When you are in a relationship, you love the person how they are and not what you WANT to mold him into. That is God's job...to mold him. I think it's a nice thing that a man wants to take it slow and not just jump into things and maybe risk loosing you or having regrets later.
2006-10-06 23:38:36 · answer #4 · answered by oneradnursey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just what is your hurry? I do believe that the more pressure you put on him to "get jiggy wid it", the worse your relationship will become. Show him love and affection without any hints and innuendo and his own love (and lust) will eventually kick in.
It is possible that you have already damaged the relationship beyond repair with your admission of having been naughty in the past. He may be too timid to tell you he disapproves, but it manifests itself in an inability to become intimate with you.
Either that or he has a small wiener.
2006-10-06 23:38:42 · answer #5 · answered by vinny_the_hack 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesnt sound like you two have been going out too long so how could he love you? The only way to handle things is to talk to him about it and tell him how you feel. Reassure him that nothing will mess the relationship up no matter what. Tell him to be honest about it also. It might help!
2006-10-06 23:38:01 · answer #6 · answered by aricalyn10<3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have YOU thought about slowing down? If you allow a man to move at his own pace, it will be beneficial for YOU in the long run. Let him grow. Don't push too hard, or you will push him right out the door!
2006-10-06 23:37:53 · answer #7 · answered by L B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you ever think that hinting to him that you are "experienced" might be something he finds repulsive. Most guys don't want to hear about their GF being with other guys...it's a turn off and it makes them think they are dating a $lut. Pushing him might make you lose him. If you love him...respect him enough to let him develop at his own pace.
2006-10-06 23:46:07 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him move faster. You're more experienced than he is and that makes him feel uncomfortable. He doesn't want to make a mistake and look stupid. Try to put yourself in his shoes. If he wants to take it slow, let him. The sweetest things are those you wait for.
2006-10-06 23:57:35 · answer #9 · answered by lone wolf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very simple...
Put yourself in his position. If you were the one who wanted to take things slow and he was the one trying to make you move faster than you wanted to, what would you think about him?
(Interesting when the normal roles are reversed, isn't it!)
If you can't respect his point of view, you shouldn't be with him.
2006-10-06 23:40:44 · answer #10 · answered by brimmy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋