What's the funniest joke you've ever heard?

Answer 1

did you hear about the gay guy who put a nicotrol patch on his dick? yes he is now down to 2 butts a day! hahahahahaha

Answer 2

Brian invited his mother over for dinner.
During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but keep noticing how beautiful Brian's roommate, Stephanie, was.

Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and Stephanie, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Stephanie than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

Brian said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure". So he sat down and wrote:
"Dear Mom: I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from
the house; I'm not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, Brian".

Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read:

"Dear Son: I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Stephanie; I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Stephanie. But the fact remains that if Stephanie is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."

Answer 3

You're so ugly that, when you were born, the doctor didn't know which end to slap!


You so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she got a ticket for littering!

You're so stupid, you climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side!

Your family is so poor, when I went to your house I stepped on a cigarette and your Daddy shouted, “Hey, who turned off the heater!”

Answer 4

blonde jokes.....no offence

there's a red head, a blonde, and a brunette. they're about o be exicuted.

The brunette goes first. the general says "Ready, Aim..." The brunette screams out "Hurricane!" They all turn their heads and the brunette escapes.

The red head is next. The general says "Ready, Aim..." The red head screams out "tornado!" They all turn their heads and the red head escapes.

The blonde goes next. The general says "Ready, Aim..." The blonde screams out "Fire!" and she gets shot.





What did the doctor say to the blonde when she told him "it hurts everywhere I touch?"

"your finger's broken"


There is a magical mirror and if you say something true to it, it lets you go through to a magical world, but if you lie, it shatters.

A brunette goes first she said, "I think I'm smart." The mirror let her go through.

A red head went next. She said,"I think I'm pretty." The mirror let her through.

The blonde went next. She said, "I think.........." and the mirror broke

Answer 5

Pokemon?!Thats the worst joke i ever heard!!

Here's one i like!

What does the judge say when the skunk enters the courtroom??

"Odour in the court!!!"

get it?odour/order.hehe

Answer 6

(i am blonde )

Two blondes walking thru the woods. They come up on some
tracks.

Elk tracks, says the 1st blonde.

No - deer tracks says the other blonde.

They were still arguing when the train hit them.

Answer 7

Reject goes into a bar.Bartender says"its your lucky day mister we are having a big sale Lobster tail and whiskey is on sale".Reject says "Wow my favorite 3 things"

Answer 8

It was about this guy who gives his wife ten martinis to have sex, but I can't go into the details here. It's really funny!

Answer 9

George Bush is president

Answer 10

I can't remember but it was so funny I forgot to laugh