Last month, Sept 2, 2006, my dearest grandmother had passed away. She was like a father to me, because my parents divorced when I was 2 months old. My grandmother raised and took care of me. I loved her so much, but I never tell her directly. I feel so guilty when she passed away. At that time, I was still studying in Malaysia, while she passed away in Bali, Indonesia which is my hometown. I used to hate her when I was a kid, because she was very violent to me, like hitting and beating me when I did something wrong. But she was the one I am staying with from 1985-2003, then me and her moved to Bali and stayed in the same house with my mother. Me and my mom loved her very much, we care about her a lot. After she passed away, I kept on dreaming of her, and when I woke up I am very very sad. I regret lots of things that I have not done which actually I can... I am so guilty...
2006-10-06 16:29:06 · 10 answers · asked by Lynda Theresia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Thanks guys for the answers, I just cried when reading all of this. I really really missed her, and this is also the first time I lose someone that was the closest one to me. I feel that my world is collapsed. I can't concentrate on studying, even when I am trying to be happy, I will feel that why I didn't tell her that I loved her, even though I really care.
2006-10-06 16:46:38 · update #1
When loved ones pass away we always have those last words that we would have liked for them to hear. I'm sure that your grandmother knew that you loved her very much. My grandmother raised me too and she passed a few hours before I got there and I always felt bad not leaving a day earlier to say my good byes. So I wrote my grandmother a letter to let her know how much I love her and it helped. I believe that she is in heaven and some day I will be with her which also helps. Life is short on earth, but the beginning of life that last for an eternity starts the moment we pass on.
You will see her again, just keep faith in that. I'm sure she would want you to be happy and not dwell on these things. Your dreams could be from you subconscious trying to get ride of the guilt. Let it go and have peace and let her rest.
2006-10-06 16:39:05 · answer #1 · answered by Massagecare4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you can go to her burial site and sit and talk to her. Maybe that will help you reach some closure in your negative feelings. You said you did not tell her that you loved her but believe me....she knew. I am sorry to hear of the abuse you went to and that adds to the emotions you have today. Sometimes I am sure you feel anger at her and then that makes you feel even more guilty. Your feelings are all justified and feelings are NEVER wrong. They help you to process things and move on. Just allow them to come and take them a day at a time. You are NOT guilty. She harmed you greatly sweety. The fact that you allowed her back into your life and loved her for such a long time shows alot about who you are as a person and I am certain your grandmother felt that love from you. Hang in there and let yourself off of the hook and be good to yourself. God bless you.
2006-10-06 23:34:51 · answer #2 · answered by oneradnursey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh... I am so sorry to hear that. But just know that it's prefectly normal to be feeling sad when someone you love die. I mean... emotions takes times to heal.There are things in life that we've done and cannot undo. It's normal to think about your love one that passed away and say to yourself that you should have done this and that. But time can't repeats itself and the thing that you should do now is to just accept that. But ofcourse, that takes time. Just cry when you feel sad and be angry when you need to. Cause if you bottle it inside, it'll resurface later. So it's better to deal with it now. Learn from this experience and cherish other love ones around you that are still living. That's all you can do now. And don't be so hard on yourself. We live life and we learn.I hope I don't sound like i am trivalizing your pain. I just want you to see beyond what's going on now. The meaning of your dream just means you think about her a lot. I hope things will work out for you. Just remember...Don't dwell in the pass.
2006-10-06 23:41:36 · answer #3 · answered by ylimele 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dreams mean nothing. The mind never turns off, so a dream is only what is taking place in your head while you sleep.
If you notice a dream seems so real, like you were there. This is because the mind produces the same chemical reactions to dreams as it does to reality. The only difference is that your body does not PHYSICALLY experience the events in your dream.
In other words, your mind is always working; but your body rests. Dreams are only what you are thinking about, and during R.E.M. (rapid eye movement), you are in deep sleep and deep dreaming.
Try this, while dreaming, try realizing you are dreaming, and do something you could not do in real life. For example, I imagine flying, or walking on stairs. If you notice you will wake up abrubtly and scared; because in real life you can't fly, and in your dream you'll probably miss a step and fall.
Dreams are fun!
2006-10-06 23:34:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
God I am so sorry for you,just remember that people don't die only their body does, her soul cannot die and she is still around you, believe me ,she is watching over you, that is why you see her in your dreams, because while you are sleeping your soul, or astral can actually move out of your body and make contact with loved ones even visit distant places, you may not remember it when you wake up but may be that is what's going on
2006-10-06 23:59:45 · answer #5 · answered by virgodoll 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do your best to become the person she believed you have the potential to be. You miss her and will dream about her often as she was and is still a large part of your life. I am sorry you lost a loved one and I wish you well. In your dreams and memories she will live on forever.
2006-10-06 23:34:03 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont worry, she knows you love her. that is why she comes to you in your dreams. maybe next time, you might be able to tell her how you feel, or you can write her a letter. sometimes when you write things down, it is a type of release. you will continue to miss her, always. but you also know that she has always been a part of you, and always will. you will find her guidance in your heart. so sorry for your loss, but keep in mind, that which causes your heart to sing and be joyful, is also what saddens you, so be happy for the times she was with you at the physical level, and know that she will always live in your heart.
2006-10-07 00:36:36 · answer #7 · answered by darlin12009 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to feel that way. You loved her and she loved you but you and her had a real relationship which means there were ups and downs. There is nothing to feel guilty about. Regardless of whether you told her directly or not she knew you loved her.
2006-10-06 23:33:27 · answer #8 · answered by lucy02 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No nomy angel when some one comes 2 u in ur sleep that means they r at peace just checking on you,,dont be scared she loved u very much and now she is letting u know
2006-10-06 23:33:39 · answer #9 · answered by paperrosie77 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you feel guilty cause u never told her how u really felt for her, that deep inside u did love and care for her. she knows though...
2006-10-06 23:42:40 · answer #10 · answered by sweetness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋