Why can't I attract the type of man I want?

Question

I have a personals ad that is specific about what I want and what really don't like. I have left response to some good looking guys only to get no response back from them. It seems every guy that leaves me a message is a rough looking red neck type with a beard (which I specify I dont like). They all like to hunt and ride motorcycles. I am a girly type woman who doesn't own a pair of jeans and like to go places where you can dress half decent. I like sophisicated men but seem to only hear from these other types. I come in contact everyday with attractive business men who come into the store where I work but most of them have wedding rings on. Is that all that is left is these bearded hunting and fishing hicks? I could like them as a friend but there just isn't any physical attraction there for me.

I do prefer older men, and I am 40 and I am open to guys up to age 58 but they don't respond back. I get these ugly bearded couch potato men. I have a lover who is attractive, professional, and classy. He is my ideal of a man but unfortunatly he is taken, married. Why can't I find a single man like him

I am in good shape, petite and slim and try to dress well at all times. Anyway this is reflected on mypersonal ad. No mention of me being a biker chick or anything.

Answer 1

I sometimes have the same kind of problem---only mine involves attracting the wrong kind of women. As stated in a previous question of mine, I have a problem with attracting women who are already in relationships. We never actually go out, for I am able to find out about their SOs before starting anything. But still, it's frustrating.

Likewise, I am currently on a personals site, and am having trouble. I am starting to think I just don't present myself very well online, or maybe I am just not what women want, because about 90% of the women the site matches me with either will not respond to my requests to communicate, close out communication with me completely without even giving things a shot, or "put me on hold." Oh well. I'm sure we'll all find someone eventually. We just have to have patience.

As for attracting the redneck types, I don't know. Maybe you just appeal to them, for some reason. It wouldn't surprise me to know that they simply do not read your profile. lol All I can say is, just keep trying to contact the professional-type guys, and surely one of them will come around eventually. That's what I keep telling myself about my situation.

Answer 2

I once corresponded with a teenage girl, an honor student, who was upset that she didn't have a boyfriend. She suspected boys were intimidated by her intelligence, and she wondered if deliberately dumbing down, and allowing her grades to slip, was the way to go.

I told her that, in my opinion, her intelligence probably was intimidating some of the boys, but only the ones who weren't right for her to begin with. If she catered to them, she would cause those who might otherwise appreciate her for what she is to lose interest in her.

I wonder if you might be making a similar mistake. Perhaps, you are presenting yourself as the kind of woman you believe men want, and that belief holds true only for the kinds of men you have been attracting, the wrong ones.

Take a look at what you've been hiding. Perhaps, that is the bait that will attract the kinds of men you are looking for.

Answer 3

Hey there little lady, howsabout you and me baby? Haha, sorry, can't help at the chance to sound like a redneck.

I'm really sorry to hear of your predicament. Perhaps if you find out what those men you're attracted to like in women, you can adjust a little bit to put out that vibe that attracts those men. Because whatever quality you have right now seems to attract the "red necks" Just change that up.

Hope that helps. And hope for the best for your situation.

Answer 4

Being picky and selfish will get you no one. If you look for the perfect man, you will find none. Everyone has faults, and the trick is to give and take. Sure, they may have a beard, but they can shave. I'm reminded of a video I saw of a guy walking around with a photo of a nerdy looking guy, asking women if they would date him. Of course, they said no. Later, they revealed him to be Bill Gates, richest man in the world, and then the women were practically whoring themselves to just his photo.

Maybe you are not THEIR Ideal woman, which is why they don't respond back? The door swings both ways, so you can go through, or get smacked in the face.

Answer 5

It really isn't about the physical attraction, it's how they act. Yeah, sure, they ride motorcycles, But maybe inside they're innocent and sophisticated?? Maybe you shouldn't really be so specific about the guy you like, because there really isn't a perfect man in the world.

Answer 6

Don't put all your dislikes in an ad, that will just turn off most men, leaving you with the Grizzly Adams types.

Use words in your ad to attract the kind of man you want or use the words to describe yourself "refined tastes, college degree, likes elegant settings (or mention wine tastings, art gallery openings, etc). book clubs", etc What do you have to offer the kind of guy you are hoping to attract? If you were a guy like that, would your ad inspire them or is it a laundry list of what you will and will not consider?

Answer 7

I feel the same about that. I don't know, maybe you are being too picky. I don't want to be rude, but I'm a little too picky myself. I like the assertive bad boy type. That's hard to find around my area, new hampshire. We have all the rednecks too!

Answer 8

It's a question of numbers. The man you seek isn't necessarily in short supply, it's just that many of them are spoken for. Fishin' and huntin' types don't live up to their reputation as good fisherman--so many of them are using the wrong bait. ;)

(I don't even own a plaid shirt or jacket.)

Answer 9

If you are not in shape then get in shape. That's the first thing a man sees. If you are in shape then you must give off bad vibes.

Answer 10

Some girls still turn down rich men. He has be quite rich and attractive. Women do care about looks a little.