My son has Conjestive heart failure and cannot work. He qualifies and is entitled to permanent disability. His live in girlfriend says it's disgracefull to collect disability. There is nothing preventing her from working. She just refuses to go to work because he is not working. He has been living off a small inheritance from his Grand mother and is running out of that money. I have been buying my Granddaughters clothes for 16 years. He now has forbidden me from that. He says I am teaching her to live above her means. I say he is teaches her not to work and do without. he says because I have more money than him and can buy her things, she will love me more than she loves him. I say if he is worried about that then collect his disability and make that no count girlfriend get off her lazy butt and go to work like the rest of the world. He is 40 yrs. old. She is 45yrs. old My Granddaughter is 16 and like all teens wants nice clothes for school.
2006-10-06 15:55:32 · 6 answers · asked by richg2524 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
How are they supporting themselves? Do they live with you? If so, it sounds like it's time for some tough love! Charge them room and board or kick him or at least his deadbeat girlfriend out. As for your granddaughter, someone has to show her how things work in the real world. Maybe you can give her jobs to do around the house to earn the money for things. My daughter is only going to be 13 in January and she works for my friends as a mother's helper and has had some pretty lucrative lemonade stands over the summer. My dad always gave me jobs to do for money, and he was always a marshmallow. Even paid me $5 to sharpen all his pencils once (no b.s!) but the point is he didn't just hand it over. You should arrange for them to meet Dr. Phil!
2006-10-06 16:14:53 · answer #1 · answered by Chocoholic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, money doesn't buy love. Actions, and actions alone, buy love. Sure, your granddaughter wants nice things, she's a teenager!! I agree with you that he's teaching her that she doesn't have to work in life. And that girlfriend of his sounds like she really needs to get out there and work.
But there is light at the end of the tunnel. Why don't you suggest that she "work" for you? Let her do your dishes, dust, fold clothes, teach her how to iron and care for a home. Pay her every week, just like you would an employee. This will teach her the importance of work, earning money, and saving it for the things she wants. If she wants a new outfit, she'll have to work to earn the money to buy it. And of course, the pay would have to be reasonable. My mother-in-law and I have both used this strategy and it has always worked well for us. We've agreed to pay our kids up to $10.00 per hour. If she's coming to your house everyday for 3 hours, by the end of the week, she'll have $150.00. You can bond with her, teaching her the simple things we all need to know to run a smooth household. You can also teach her how to garden. This way, you're still able to make sure she has nice things, but she's learning to earn it, she's learning responsibility.
I would talk to your son about this before talking to your granddaughter!! Make sure this is ok with him first.
Good Luck!
2006-10-06 23:39:01 · answer #2 · answered by Joy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grandparents have rights you can get custody of your GRANDDAUGHTER and you should look at the environment
they are putting her in they are suppose to be roll models for her the only roll model they are provideding is how to lay around and be lazy you dont want your Granddaughter becoming someones
no count lazy butt she needs to learn to be independant and be strong and sucussesful and you probably can provided that for her more then they ever will Goodluck!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO LIKE ALL TEENS SHE SHOULD HAVE CARREER GOALS IF NOT THATS A SIGN THATS NOT GOOD AND SOMEONE NEEDS TO SUPPORT HER TO SEE SHE GETS HER GOALS COMPLETED A PARENTS JOB NEVER ENDS AS YOU CAN SEE.
2006-10-06 23:33:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the real concern here is with your granddaughter and her well-being. If neither parent is working, and your son refuses to collect his due disability, the conditions they live in are their choice.
However, your granddaughter has no say in the environment she's being forced to grow up in, and it's not right for these two "adults" to disregard her well-being. And her well-being extends past having nice clothes... what about her future?
I know you've raised your children, and it's not fair for you to have to raise your grandchildren, but maybe see about getting custody of her? That way you know she'd be provided for.
2006-10-06 23:17:43 · answer #4 · answered by Suzuki_Mouse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your duty to provide for this family has expired eons ago. you can still give them gifts/clothes for christmas or birthdays or when occasions call for it, but not everyday. it's a little different if they're going hungry (tho not much in my opinion), you're already giving them luxury they can ill-afford. your son desperately wants to stand up on his own, but your "generosity" is doing more harm to his self-esteem. let them live on their own. it's in everyone's best interest including yours
2006-10-06 23:15:19 · answer #5 · answered by froggy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as far as they are concerned...theres little that you can do..but always take care of your grand babe if possible...he doesn't have to know everything...next time he complains...ask him what has he provided for her college...
2006-10-07 07:00:51 · answer #6 · answered by Chocolate_Bunny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋