What options do you have when a 9 year old just doesn't want to do his work?? Disapline is not working??

Question

We have tried everything. We have taken things away we have spanked him and still he doesn't care!! He knows what he is doing but refuses to do it. What can we do?? What is boot camp?? Is is suitable for a nine year old?? Please if you know any resourses give them to me. THANK YOU. We will not give up, he thinks we will i guess but we won't.

Answer 1

Stop taking things away and look for something postive he has done and reward him. Praise goes a long way. He might be frustrated with the work....it might be too easy. Disapline means loving guidance. Loving! Try sitting down with him and say, lets do 4 math problems. We are going to make a game out of it. I will do them and you do them and we will see who finnishes first. Or make it into a game...instead of here...study the states in the United States...draw a map on the pavement...make a relay race out of it. Run to Washington State and scrub the washboard three times...then military style go through the "olympic hoops" (capital Olympia) then sail a boat through a maze...sail-'em...the capital of Oregon is Salem....
Or invite a few friends over that are in the same class or who have the same work...make it into a game such a jeopardy. Have fun making a few treats and trying to stump them all on questions. Try to also ask some you KNOW your son knows.
Or start a study group. Meet at the Library or local bookstore. Each time you meet set goals and have rewards for goals met. Rewards are not always "things" but a reward can be extra time on the computer or with a game or more play time or a special dessert.
Maybe he is a hands on learner and reading textbooks has totally frustrated him. In my opinion Spanking should be reserved for direct disrepect. Is he disrespecting you or just dilly-dallying and not getting the work done.
To me, boot camp sounds like the old threat that if "you don't straighten up we are going to send you to boarding school." Which is a parent sending the child away for someone else to deal with.

Answer 2

sounds like your little one has some anger issues.
definitely start taking away material things such as computer, tv etc etc... whatever material like things are important to him. Do not give in whatever you do. He is trying very hard to break you down. You will need to give lots of positive reinforcement to anything that he does that is decent... such as "you did a good job cleaning the table off for me.. thanks!" anything that is a positive note is a good thing. Make sure your expectations are reasonable and that you have calmly set the ground rules.
Give positive messages and possibly a lunch out with you or a special something for him after he has shown a day or two of positive behavior. Make a chart with him and set out the expectations and he gets a star or happy face on the chart for the things he does as he is suppose to. Do not mark a sad face or x on the things that he does not do well... just leave it blank.
Sit down with him when you are both calm and talk to him about how you care about him and just want to help him but you feel so lost sometimes and need him to help you to help him.
Kids are very smart and even though we think they don't understand the adult world of emotions ...they have a pretty good idea. Do not give up on him. He thinks you will break down and let him do whatever or he thinks you will give up on him ... could be a test to see how far you will go to really love him.

Answer 3

Try talking nicely to your child. Maybe something else is going om with him. It could be something too embarrassing for him to talk about. By asking him, it may get him to open up to you. If you have a close relative whom he likes a lot, send him there for a few days to see if maybe they can get him to open up to them. If not, you might be forced to seek the help of either a school counsellor, or professional help. Nine is really kind of young for a child to be going through that stage. Most all kids go through this one, but ordinarily during their young teen years. If taking things away has not worked for you, then I don't know, because this works most of the time. I wouldn't continue to spank him though, if something drastic or traumatic has happened to him, you will make him feel that it was his fault. Has he been anywhere during the summer where he could have been molested, or bullied by other kids, etc.? Those are some possibilities. But do not try to pressure him into telling you if he doesn't want to talk to you about it. Like I said, a close relative, or a close friend(trusted), whom he likes may be of help in asking him whats wrong. Hope I was of some help to you. Please try to keep all of us here posted on how it goes for you ok? We all care!

Answer 4

A friend of mine had a daughter who was older,but the situation similar. He took her to a psychologist. The psychologist said to use tough love.

He stripped her room. Nothing in it but bare mattress and blanket. She had to spend all time not in school in her room. SHe was allowed out to eat and go to bathroom.

To earn things like sheets, pillows, chair, desk, lamp, she had to do certain things....had to have teacher sing notes for 3 days saying she had done all her homework correctly to get sheets and pillow. Had to score above 80 on tests to get a chair the following week to get a desk.....

If she slipped she lost things she had gained.

She had to go a month with grades above 80 to get one hour of tv time a day and she had to maintain. If she got grades to a 90 she got 1 1/2 hours.

I guess you can see the pattern.

You can also try a tutor, kids frequently work better with strangers the with parents.

(Gee I assume you are talking school work).

I think boot camp for a 9 year old is a bit much, but you may want to try a psychologist.

Answer 5

overlook approximately her. Videoing her screaming for 2 hours? besides the fact that for? How plenty extra interest and reward for her undesirable behaviour ought to you likely provide?! If she screams, walk away and pass in yet another room. If she follows you, picke her up and placed her in her room (decrease than your arm, no messing approximately, i'm quite optimistic you're greater than she is) and carry the door close (with you on the outdoors). do no longer shout, smack, threaten, convenience, tell her it is not working, communicate, or negotiate. If she needs to scream herself hoarse...enable her. And while she isn't screaming (and no baby can scream 24 hours an afternoon, it truly is bodily impossible) provide her each and all the attention and love you may likely cope with. i'm optimistic you would be able to desire to be exhausted and it truly is truly hassle-free to overlook approximately a complicated baby once you ultimately get some respite from the undesirable behaviour...yet while she's behaving, this is the time to assert "enable's pass to the park." "we ought to observe your standard television teach?" "What do you like for dinner?"

Answer 6

try the book 123 Magic... it is geared to kids under 12 and is very simple to follow... also, have you tried rewarding him for good behavior? something simple like if he does everything he is supposed to do for a week, you will take him out for pizza or let a friend spend the night.... most important, make sure that you praise him much more often than you criticize him... kids crave attention, even negative attention, so if you criticize him as much as or more than you praise him, he may be acting out just to get the attention from you

Answer 7

i would take everything away from your child....
toys,tv,radio,phone, gameboys, and etc items. i wouldn't allow them to hang out with friends, spend the night at other kids houses...including family b/c its a get away, ride their bike, etc. take dessert away from them. you have to make them learn that you are the boss not them and they will do as they are told. there is boot camp. its generally towards kids starting at 12 years old and can be expensive. its like the military for children...ABC network has a tv show about it. its called brat camp. good luck!

Answer 8

I agree with the first guy take away EVERYTHING leave a bed and clothes, out of his room only for school bathroom and supper. Try a scare tactic if there is someone he respects like an uncle have him get on him or have bonding time with the role model, take him on a tour of your local juvie center.
And stay on him

Answer 9

. YES, just de-electrify him. cut off all his electricity like he is Amish. no TV, no radio, no computer, no phone, no I-pod. no nothing electric. tell him he can have those things when he can pay the elctric bill or behave. take your pick.
be strong. you are bigger than him.

Answer 10

possitive reinforcement. give him a good reaction when he finally does do his work so he will continue to please you children want to please.