Deep Depression - confused and scared..?

Question

i am 23 and i think ive hit a huge down point in my life. i graduated HS with everyone else at age 18 and now i am having extreme back-to-school anxiety cos i am starting college again. it does not feel like normal anxiety.. i've been having horrible panic attacks that seem to start up during the day and reach their peak at night before i get calm (which might be the Xanax im on). i believe the reason for the panic attacks is cos A) i recently weened myself off of Cymbalta and B) i keep obsessing over the fact that if i dont get a college degree i will amount to nothing. (partially instilled into me by my dad). on top of that i have a $5000 debt that i acquired over the previous 5 yrs that i wasn't in school and just working random jobs. i seem to have this fear of the future since im now faced with this huge decision of what to do. everyone is expecting me to get an education and live a 'normal' life but i have a fear that i wont be ok.. i can't stop obsessing and i've been shaking.

yea it sucks really bad.. ive never been this depressed since i dont really have a history of depression (anxiety, yes). it sort of crept on.. ive been having feelings of doom and like i'll never have a 'future' (even though it'd be nice to have one) and almost like im dying. ive been on SSRI's for about 9 years and i stupidly weened myself off the last one since it was giving me sweaty armpits. i keep obsessing over everything and i feel incredibly hopeless. my dad knows that i enjoy the 'finer things in life' yet the college thing (either 2 yr or 4yr) seems like such a long commitment especially with how i feel now (i almost dont want to leave the house since im so nervous). i can't seem to stop feeling miserable as if i have no future.. i certainly haven't been myself and i've just been overemotional about everything. my mom seems worried about me and my dad just seems disgusted since he's a stressed out business executive who i believe wants more from me that i think can handle.

Answer 1

Learning to know yourself is the most important thing anyone can do. What I mean by this is everyone is told set goals. What does that mean? Is it to listen to everyone else and when you hear what they say you try that, then you hear someone else and try that? No...

Everyone is born with a ladder and they carry it in a horizontal position all their life . They have never set down and learned to know themselves. When I say learne to know yourself it means find out what you want in life. And when you know what you want then and only then do you know where to prop your ladder and when you do stop carring your ladder and have it set on a goal then and only then do you know what steps to take.

In selecting a goal remember you work to exist you don"t exist to work.

Its important to know what your working for. Those that don"t have their ladder proped at a goal are always asking when will I get ahead. It seems all I do is work and for what? They don't know themselves and don"t have their ladder set at a goal.

If you want to own a 190ft yacht set your ladder at that goal and
you will know two things what you want and the steps you need to take to get there.

When you have set your ladder at what you want , and you are about to take a step toward the goal ,close your eyes and imagine you are setting (for example) on the deck of your yacht and ask is the step you are about to take will get me here. Say you want to buy a new corvette close your eyes and be honest with yourself is this the time to take this step on your ladder . You might deside it could slow you down at this time or you might say now is a good time. Do you see why you need to go to the top of the ladder to see if the step will get you at your goal or will it slow you down.

Find what you want in life and set YOUR ladder . Go to the top of your ladder to make decisions.

If you select a partner with the same goals and you have two latters setting at the same goal you will get there faster.

GOOD LUCK Go to your goal and stop shaking.

Answer 2

Dude! I really feel for you! i know what your going through.

Firstly, its VERY normal to feel the back to school stress. And questioning your abilities if you can even make it let alone anything else? I know what you mean by that. You should realise many people leave courses and re-join again, this causes problems with making new friends (see my questions asked you will see what kinda stuff im suffering from too).

This is my advice for you, it may sound really undoable, and more hectic, but only after trying it for a month you will know what i mean. Answer is weight training. This is working out basically with free weights. Things this will do for you : Medically, you will have hormones relased into your system, and the hormones that are NOT balanced, may be corrocted or over powered and act as an anti depressent on its own. Another thing, you will look good!!! You really will, u will see changes in your confidence.

All that said, you are reporting some serious conditions. I personally dont reccoment taking any kind of medicene but i dont know what kind of things you have, so i cant say, but anything related to depression, i think natural cures are best.

There might be a major cause why you feel all this anxiety. What happens when you put something in hot water? It heats up!! Right? This is whats happening to you. You are in an ocean of negativity, and your absorbing it. For example, your debts is a negativity, your worry for failing is a negativity because maybe in the past you didnt do so well? plus lack of confidence and maybe lack of friends is a negativity, we are humans, which are social creatures, we need emotional connections.

Take this away? how? well firstly change how your looking at things. "i am in debt, yes i will clear it". How will you? do research on what is possible and what is not. Try Ebay.com? Sell your used things on there, or start up a proper business just to get the money you require? This will engage your skills, use your time on something productive and will teach you business!! I did that myself for my debts, never cleared all ,but i cleared some which put a weight off of me.

Sorry everything i said was cluttered. I do hope i have helped you. If you want to talk more on this email me your msn address . Dont feel weird about it, i am also a victim of what your going through.

Answer 3

I know how you feel. Really. I have felt like that too. I started of with alot of anxiety which graduated into full fledged panic attacks which led to a deep depression which I have battled on and off for four years.

I too am just getting back to college after ten years, of graduating a diploma nursing program. Okay....step one. I knew there was a problem, so I went to see my MD, and told her that I wanted to try Wellbutrin. It worked. I felt the difference the same week. Three days into it.....and I REALLY felt the difference.

YOU have to decide when you are ready to do something about it. Everyone in the world can be worried and give you advice....but you will do something about it when you are ready to and when you are ready to stop living like that and feeling like that.

Life looks, feels, and IS a lot better when you can get rid of the mental strain that depression puts on you. Good luck.

Answer 4

Over the last five years I had begun to have increasingly withdraw into a downward spiral of depression..

But now with the method I can fully focus my energy and thoughts into a decisive line on how to make my life better constantly. And it works like magic! I'm beginning to attract people to me once again and things have just been looking up since then.

Helping you eliminate depression?

Answer 5

Wow I am really sorry! We all have fears in life, it is what you do with them that matters. Are you sure school is what you are really wanting to do or is it your parents dream. This is something you need to figure out for yourself. Maybe take a break and start school next year. I know lots of kids do this and it is exactly what they needed. Take life a day at a time and try to just relax.

Answer 6

Is it your parents' dream that you go to college? Or yours?

Now, I never finished college. And for a while, I did have a debt. But I'm fine now.

Since you're on prescriptions, you may want to talk with the doctor that gave them to you. And meanwhile get some additional counselling so you can get some control of your fears.

Good luck!

Answer 7

prove to you that you can make it. screw everyone. see success, whatever you think, it will happen. i was like you and now i love school. i have good grades to prove it. i'll help you. i'm also sick. try me [e-mail]. leave ur email. life will get better. lol.

Answer 8

Sorry, mate.