Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
Man: "What sign were you born under?"
Woman: "No Parking."
2006-10-06 14:29:38 · 11 answers · asked by ? 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
okay i got thousands, give me a second...
Pick Up Lines For the Brave MEN:
1.Is that a mirror in your pocket, cause I can see myself in your pants.
2.If I could change the alphabet U and I would be together.
~~~~
Did they just take you out of the oven? Because you’re hot!
~~~~~
If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.
~~~~~
Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
~~~~~
Hey, I might not be the cutest guy here,
but I am the only one talking to you.
~~~~~
A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?"
The girl says, "I don't like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn't dance with you."
The guy says, "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said, you look fat in those pants."
~~~~~
Female Comebacks
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
~~~~~
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: Fine with me, I don't care where you go after we're done in the car.
~~~~~
Insults
Save your breath. You'll need it to blow up your date.
~~~~~
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
~~~~~
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
~~~~~
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
~~~~~
Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
~~~~~
You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.
~~~~~
The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
~~~~~
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me, either.
Just leave me the heck alone.
~~~~~
You look like a million bucks! (All green and wrinkled.)
~~~~~
Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.
~~~~~
I never forget a face...but in your case I'll make an exception!
~~~~~
What am I? Flypaper for freaks?
~~~~~
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
~~~~~
100,000 sperm to choose from, and you were the fastest.
~~~~~
I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can diet.
~~~~~
I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.
~~~~~
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
~~~~~
"What's the latest dope on Wall Street?"
"My son!"
Henny Youngman
~~~~~
Seen on T-Shirts:
So Few Men, So Few Who Can Afford Me
Coffee, Chocolate, Men...Some Things are Just Better Rich
Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship
I was born at night but not last night.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame it on you!
My answer is right it is your question that is wrong.
~~~~~
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
~~~~~
Some Great Answers to That Stupid Question:
"Why aren't you married yet?"
You haven't asked yet.
I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.
What? And spoil my great sex life?
Because I just love hearing this question.
Just lucky, I guess.
My fiance is awaiting his/her parole.
I'm waiting until I get to be your age.
It didn't seem worth a blood test.
I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.
I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.
They just opened a great singles bar on my block.
What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads?
We really want to, but my lover's spouse just won't go for it.
I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.
Why aren't you thin?
I'm married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.
(For Single Mothers) Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.
~~~~~
A few weeks ago, I got in a schoolyard fight and prior to the fight, our conversation went like so:
Antagonist: "Why don't you come over here and say that?"
Me: "I would...but I'm a little homophobic."
~~~~
One day this guy and I were having our usual battle of wits (not very hard ,but a bit challenging.)
He said, "You're just a couple of ants away from being a picnic."
I came back with, "And you're just a couple of grapes away from being a complete fruit!"
~~~~
Man: If I were to rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
Woman: Yeah?! Well, if I were to rewrite the alphabet I would put F and U together.
Get my point?!
I'll put down more, if I think and come up with more. :)
Hope u like ;)
2006-10-06 15:00:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Pick Up Line Comebacks
2016-09-30 01:14:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man: Do you know what the man said to the pretty lady?
Lady: No, but she said she had an ak 47 stashed and wasn't afraid to use it, and then the man ran away. Now go.
2006-10-06 16:51:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man: did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
woman: yes i died 15 years ago just like that line.
2006-10-06 15:22:06 · answer #4 · answered by marshall s 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
LOL all of them were funny heres a star
2016-03-18 05:56:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol i dont know anymore.......but i can say its good pick up lines!!
congratz :)
2006-10-06 14:47:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Man: "Did it hurt?"
Woman: "Did WHAT hurt?"
Man: "When you fell from heaven?"
2006-10-06 14:37:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
hey have we met before,you are bring back memory[ smile]
2006-10-06 14:47:44 · answer #8 · answered by cheeks the slick 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i really enjoyed that. i had to print it. lol
2006-10-06 14:49:05 · answer #9 · answered by maxossa1 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
~~~THATS THE CUTIES THING I READ ALL NIGHT CONGRATS WHICH BASTARD DID U USE THOSE LINES ON?~~~LOL~~~
2006-10-06 14:40:26 · answer #10 · answered by EiaMaria 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋