Today me and my cousin had a major falling out. For as long as I can remember she has always made snide remarks and had a nasty attitude. She was always jelous of my sister and everytime she and her family came to visit they always put everyone down in regards to weight and such. We are both in our 40's and today I just let her have it for all the nasty remarks and how funky her attitude hasbeen. She only bothers when she wants to be bothered and I try so hard to over look her ways, but I have had enough and I really don't want anymore bother from her. I ended up hanging up the phone on her. I feel bad about the way it went, but I just felt she needs to be more sensitive to how her words can hurt and offend. We are family and if family can't have eachothers back then whom can you turn to. Please tell me what you guys think. I know it sounds silly, but there is alot more to this. Just not enough time to tell it all. Thanks in advance for your help.
2006-10-06 14:22:41 · 8 answers · asked by softlyinspired 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't blame you for doing what you did. You had been gracious to her long enough. If she weren't your cousin you'd probably ask "Who is that b****??!!"
We've all been raised with the idea that blood is thicker than water. Well, the truth is that it isn't. Just because you're family doesn't mean that you get to be an ******* and everyone has to put up with it because "your family." Regardless of the relationship, people should be treated with common courtesy to say the least. There's no excuse for being obnoxious. When your family is rude or hurtful, you're more sensitive to it because "they're family."
Considering how long you've been putting up with her, it's no wonder you snapped. If she comes back to apologize to you, and is sincere, embrace that and move forward. I doubt you'll have the same misunderstanding again. You don't have to apologize for anything; if you want to say something to her, say "Look. I know I flew off the handle yesterday, but you were being very nasty. I've never said anything about it and I reached my limit. We're family, but you have to understand that your attitude is unacceptable to me. I love you, but I won't tolerate your hurtful behavior."
I'm sure there's a part of you that feels a teeny-weeny bit better for having gotten this off your chest.
2006-10-06 14:36:18 · answer #1 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry you are so upset.
First of all - you have a right to expect reasonable and kind treatement, especially if that is what you give. I think that your anger built up inside you for so long, that you just exploded. It happens to everyone. If this is the way your cousin grew up and noone has ever told her it bothered them, then you owe it to yourself and to her to tell it like it is.
Take a few minutes to cool down, call her up and apologize for the way the conversation ended. Invite her over and talk it out and you will feel a lot better. You need to concentrate on "how the things she does and says makes you feel." I bet things will work out.
On the other hand if they do not, then perhaps it is best you not hang around with her. Noone deserves that kind of treatment. As adults we have the option of chosing who we want in our life.
2006-10-06 21:32:36 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Enough was enough. You can only hold back so long from a hurtful person. Either she gets over it or she doesn't.
2006-10-06 21:28:50 · answer #3 · answered by willis_is_40 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You were right to tell her that her remarks were hurtful
2006-10-06 21:50:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok,you did it that way,now listen up. don`t do anything for awhile let it be and let it cool down. talk later to her and may be you can patch things pu with her.
2006-10-06 21:27:30 · answer #5 · answered by julie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can always ring and say "sorry". i mean family can work through nearly everything. im sure you can work through this too!
good luck
2006-10-06 21:27:25 · answer #6 · answered by gabitha_22 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you didn't....sometimes people need to know that they are hurting you....don't be a doormat....she and you may come to an understanding over this....and you may gain her respect.........
2006-10-06 21:28:36 · answer #7 · answered by lotusdell 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
THAT'S it!! Enough is enough leave her alone!!!
2006-10-06 21:32:53 · answer #8 · answered by JOHANN L 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋