how can i be a mom and pamper my self at the same time?

Question

i am a single mom of three boys and i really need a break.but dont have a babysitter and have no family here with me.my exs family are not close to my children .they chose not to.and i need to be able to relax sometimes.my day goes waking up at 5am 5 days a week so they can go to day care and i go to work.i pick them up cook,pick up after them.when they go to sleep im so tired that i just lay down and sometimes i just fall asleep and dont notice it,sounds crazy but is true.since i cant go and date anybody,or just go out and chill by my self.any tips on how to pamper my self and still be a good mom.i love my children they mean the world to me.i just need a break.

i have small children.theyre 3, 2, and 6 months old

Answer 1

Take bubble baths with candles and classical music when the kids are asleep. Pray each morning before they rise. Pray each evening. Meditate often. Make time for yourself. Take one day a month and do something for you... even if it means skipping out of work early!!!

Answer 2

Hi. I think you're doing a great job!!! I would say that although you can't go out, you can bring it in to you. When the kids go to bed, make a nice hot bath and soak soak soak. Have some soft music going, maybe even some candles, and relax. There isn't too much pampering time for any mother (or father) but there are things that can be done. Get yourself a foot spa and give yourself a pedicure, it will cheer you up some and it's worth it to have the feet massaged. I am a stay at home mom and have similar hours to yours, my husband works 6 days a week from 7:30 am until 10:00 pm. and sometimes later than that so I am the one doing it all. I just try to make the best of it by taking those baths, giving myself pedicures and manicures, and sometimes just catching 30 min. of t.v. works. I do think you need an outlet though, a neighbor, friend, someone you can wind down by talking to. I am lucky to have a social neighborhood. We on many occasions will sit outside once all kids are in bed and have a beer or 3. If you don't drink, you can still enjoy being outside chatting. Gets you away but not too far away.

Answer 3

Hi,
I am also a single mother to 3 children.... All girls here. They can be so draining but in the end its worth the work. Things I do are....
I get my kids to bed a little early when I can. Ushually I can get away with 7pm by playing a movie for them. I bought a personal tub spa for myself, I paid 20.00 for it after the holidays. I bought some things like facial stuff and girly things I could do once they are asleep. I networked some friends through a local mothers group and now have a teenage babysitter. She is 17 and the oldest of 7 kids. She know just whats shes doing and really good at it. She comes from a large family and understands funds can be tight and accepts my 10.00 per night payment. Then I can take a few hours or a night out and still be comfortable that my kids are in good hands. Also getting into a local mothers group will allow you to meet and socialize with other mothers while the kids keep busy and play.

Good Luck

Answer 4

If your job offers vacation time, take it in smaller increments or a day by day basis. Then you could spread out that time and still take your kids to school or daycare and have that day to yourself.

If your job does not offer vacation time. That will be harder. But maybe wait until there is a week when you know you can afford it and call in, but still take the kids to school/daycare.

The thing about doing these things is that you also can't be feeling guilty about being home or wherever you are, and you took the kids anyway. You need time for yourself or you can't be good for anyone else.

Another thing is this. If you pick the kids up a while before the daycare closes, why not leave them there once or twice a week and pick them up before it closes. This may give you a half hour or an hour to do what you need to or relax.

I know these things may sound bad to you or you may feel guilty at first, but like I said, you need time too.

Answer 5

I'm a single mom of four (three are boys). My youngest is turning 9 next month so the toddle years are behind me. I don't go out either. I take refuge in my computer - sorta like you did in writing your question. I also started a stay at home business which is really fun so I'm here when they need me but can do my thing in between. Sometimes I get annoyed with the constant demands but I'm learning to handle it better. It's teaching me selflessness - which I needed to learn which is why I had to have four of them. They never quit - as you know all too well.

My advice is to maybe consider working from home - you seem to be computer savvy. Find yourself a career from home that you love and is fulfilling all the while being that wonderful mom you strive to be.

I've given up on seeking to go out and do things. As the income improves I will see to it we do things more as a family that we don't have the chance to do now. Oh, and my business has brought some neat friends into my life so that helps, too.

How old are your boys?

Answer 6

Find someone to trade babysitting with so you can go out for a Friday night and then you'll watch her kids for a bit. Check with the local high school and ask if there's a board you can post a notice on for babysitters. It might help just to have someone else around to give you a bit of time to destress (and to see how the teen works with your children.) Send all the kids to playdates on the same Saturday morning (again, reciprocating later). Or, if you can get two of the three on a playdate, make it a fun day with the other one, and do that every once in a while.
Good luck.

Answer 7

LOL... I used to dream about things like being able to eat an entire ice cream sundae without being interrupted or having somebody want to share it or having to get up and clean a mess halfway through, etc, etc.

Now, our nest is just emptying, and I'm just getting used to being able to do things for myself.

Sounds like you are doing a great job!! You don't say how old the boys are, but really you should start training them to help take care of you. There are little things they can do in the kitchen, for instance, to prepare a meal. Even if it's just cold cuts and salad. Let them be involved in the cooking, the housework, and things like that. Make it all organized, so they get in the habit of doing those things. That way, you will gradually start sharing the work, and they will grow up SO much more responsible !!!
And they will be happier, too.

I♥♫→mia☼☺†

Answer 8

Try a warm bath when there sleeping which is easily said then done between the laundry and the house cleaning there is no time i get to my self unless its to go on the computer for a couple of minutes. But then i neglect the laundry. Put off the not important house work to the side oneday and try at least to take out of a couple of minutes to yourself. Good luck

Answer 9

Try going to work 30 minutes early and then take a long lunch break. Even if it just means going for a walk. Sometimes I walk to a nail salon and get a polish change for under $10, and under 30 minutes!

Answer 10

Tell the boys they have to respect mom's time out. Then set them up in their rooms or wherever safely with activites or whatever and then go to your room and close the door. Take 15 or 30. Or take 15 minutes every couple of hours. Sit quietly in your room and do whatever you want to do that will help give you some alone time.'