Am i imagining things? or life is picking on me?

Question

I have no friends, used to have a gf, who broke me so bad its not really possible to trust any girl anymore, because all girls are the same to an extent.
Anyhow, i have tried making friends and have been doing so. At uni today i tried talking to the "group" of people saying hi and commenting and asking questions, but i was ignored, interuprted and overpowered by a louder person, even tho they did hear me.

Im in the UK and i have an american accent and im from Libya (which is a mixed race of Arabs and Italians). I was thinking it might be because of my accent? because it cant be race , there are mixed races in my class that all talk.

This is just 1 factor thats affecting me so bad i cry every few hours about it. I remember back in the days when i was 8 or 9 i was the funniest guy in my class, now im just a loser at 21.

Today i took Vodka even tho im not allowed in my religion, but i had no way to stop this feeling. I dont get it, i tried all ways to make friends..but no

I tried being forward, i tried just not trying but smiling in class and listening, i tried talking and asking questions. i tried it all. a new day starts and i think, ok today i will break my records cos im not gonne let depression get to me. but i fail every time.

i am losing confidence with everything in life that matters, this wound is only going to dig deeper....can someone help?

Sad to see so many people putting up questions in mental health wishing to die, i wish that every night, but at day im extatic, with so much will power to set it all right, but i am broken by evening no matter what.

Answer 1

The problem is not your accent, or where you are from.
I used to feel the same way, and have the same problem. I discovered over time that it was my own negative expectations that found its way into my behaviour (i did not see it), and my lack of social skills that caused the problems. I would suggest that you seek counseling to learn what it is in your own behaviour that might cause others not to respond to you positively. People who are super sensitive are particularly likely to feel rejection where there is none. A counselor can also help you develop good social skills. You will never regret doing this.

I wish you well, email me at [e-mail] if you want to talk more on this.

Answer 2

Hey there. First of all, do not beat yourself up for someone else's ignorance. If people don't wanna get to know u, they're missing out a whole lot of fun, remember u're the funniest guy?? The group of people whom u tried to talk probably ignored u because they might already be a well knit group and don't want any new members or whatever. But hey, that's not the end of the world. U should check out each and every person in ur class. Just approach and start talking. U'll know if a person is compatible within say 10-15 minutes. If u don't find anyone in ur class, u can make friends in library or play field etc. Just don't pity urself. You just have to adjust to things.
And it's ok to mourn a relationship that broke for a certain period pal but u should start looking for a gf now. Just a tip - dump a girl who seems to be more interested in money or who expects too much from as far as monetary expectations are concerned - like gifts etc. u know what I mean?? All the Best to u.

Answer 3

Believe it or not what you are feeling is normal, for your age lots of kids feel this way.

So get away from the alcohol and drugs, don't go to the counselor because they will only want to psychiatrically treat you and put you on mind altering drugs, be yourself, don't try to be a part of the group=stand out on your own or find others that seem to be alone or lonely too we all need friends, cry if you want to a little when you are alone there is nothing wrong with it you might even beat a pillow up, LOL, study because you want to make those grades, and rest, do some thing that you find fun even if it is just go to a movie that you want to see, and keep on keeping on.

You are okay and you are going to make it, just don't give up. Have faith in yourself that you have what it takes and know that you do.

Answer 4

Just remember you are not alone. My view on women has been tainted for the same reason. I lost trust also but still want to try and gain the trust of someone. I don't want to give up but it takes time. Any woman who says all men are pigs and such doesn't know that for every man she thinks is bad, there is a woman just as bad or worse. There are a lot of selfish people in the world.
You need to find commonalities with certain people and become friends. You will eventually gain faith back in people.
You have a long life ahead my friend, a long way to go. You will always stumble a few times but you have to keep going.

Answer 5

I'm so sorry you are sad.

If i could give you a hug, I would. I'm usually sad myself, and I don't know how to feel better, but I do know that every so often something cool happens that I wouldn't missed if I had killed myself already.

I always think life is picking on me. Trust me, there are many many others who feel like you do. We should make a club or something.

I don't know if the Vodka helped, but obviously you probably feel guilty about it. It sounds like you have a lot of contrasting feelings and maybe you should try writing everything out. Start a diary or a short story.

Please feel better. Things do get a little better. Then things will get worse. THis is life. I'm not a big fan of it, but it is the way of the world. Please stay.

Answer 6

You seem to believe that your popularity rests on you being the life of the party or the class clown. Find some other ways to excel. What are your interests. Develop them. Try joining some clubs or organizations where you can help others. Volunteer at a hospital or a school. Learn to play an instruments. Translate for older people. Take the focus off yourself and you want be so depressed

Answer 7

When I see a question like this I like to go back and look at other questions you have asked and answered. What happened to taking the bad with the good in life? You should take some of your own advise. Another thing, I don't understand how a person can believe in God and ever be unhappy. I don't have a religion but I think if I did I would think that everything is going to be Ok.

Answer 8

First I want you to CHANGE THE WAY YOU ARE THINKING, There is NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. And being in the UK is a very different place filled with many different people with many different backgrounds, STOP trying so hard to FIT IN, Just Be you yourself, Focus on you I promise when you STOP trying to fit in the world will EMBRACE YOU. When we act as though we can not breath with out people we tend to give off a scent that says I AM DESPERATE and NO one needs to feel like they have to Prove something to the world. You were CREATED by a God that loves you and you are Special in his EYES, That should be all that Matters. Focus on you LOVE YOU, and things will change. Take Care, And know giving up is NOT AN OPTION.

Answer 9

You don't seem to be in your happiest days kiddo. Try to do what I do (even if it seems a little crazy). Act for just a second, reading what you wrote, that the person who wrote it is JUST like you, but someone else. What advice would you give him? Why? Is the advice good so he can be his happiest again and not "a loser at 21"? You can find equally professional help, don't be embarrassed, they are there for a reason. And reading a few jokes or dumb questions on Yahoo! Answers can give you a chuckle to cheer for.

Answer 10

Please don't do alcohol or drugs or anything else that is against your religion, it will only make you feel worse, and they are addictive.
Making friends is a long term project.
You need to be patient with yourself.
It happens in very small steps.
Seek out a good homeopathic physician immediatlely.
They can help you get well in every area of your life.
If you need a good friend who has been waiting all your life to meet you and knows everything about you (every detail, the good the bad, and the ugly, and even every thought) and loves you anyway, more than life itself, meet God, the creator of the universe and everything in it, including you.
Just ask Him to reveal Himself to you.
You will never again need to be lonely and friendless.
He wants to and will meet every need in your life.