Im in a flat, and the lifts dont work, there's a lot of stairs/witnesses.
Does the old rolled up carpet still fool people? Then what?
Im a bit out of touch, ive been away for a while.
2006-10-06 13:29:58 · 44 answers · asked by ben b 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I'd ask Frankie Knuckles, he was always creative on that front...trouble is...it Is Frankie Knuckles....shot myself in the foot a bit.....no, really...and cant call an ambulance, for obvious reasons....tonights a b i t c h ..
2006-10-06 13:36:58 · update #1
Murder your neighbour, then dump the body in his flat and start a fire
2006-10-06 15:22:06 · answer #1 · answered by Freelancer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're facing the classic Friday night problem, and it can be a pain (though not as painful as the crowbar you've recently inserted in your victim's head, eh?!). The rolled up carpet will work if you happen to live in a block of flats populated by morons.......or, if you're lucky enough to live in Norfolk. Assuming you are unable to meet either of these requirements, then you have only one choice: that's right, I hope you haven't had breakfast, lunch or dinner, because you've got a lot to get through tonight. Let's face it, you're not going to get any acid at this time of night, and even if you could, would you really go and buy it? You might as well tell the guy at the counter what you're using it for; it'll save you the hassle of having to call the cops yourself. Bon appetit!
2006-10-06 13:52:12 · answer #2 · answered by John P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always have a best friend with a shovel handy. I've got mine.
Essentials.... anatomy book or some knowledge of butchery. Large bath tub, saw.... knock the teeth out, separate hands and feet and place in separate bags/packages/suitcases. Space the time out you leave with said packages and use a variety of techniques to dispose of the evidence.
The pig farm is good for the hands and feet...cement block the head and cornerstone it if you can. Otherwise sea burial is best. The rest... I'd make sure the not a trace gets left of it by acid and lye....
I hope that helps.
2006-10-06 13:42:51 · answer #3 · answered by jennyrascal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jean Paul Gauthier Overnight Bag
2006-10-06 13:38:16 · answer #4 · answered by Xericx 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first, chop up the body into little(portable) pieces. Probaly to the size of a roasting chicken. do this in the bathtub to cut down on the cleanup. Now wrap each piece up in newspaper, tin foil,whatever. Now this may sound gross but put as much of it as you can in the freeze. whats left put in seperate shopping bags. When you go out take a piece with you and drop it into the trash at different places in the city. Try not to dump two in the same area. Also don't forget to clean the bathtub. I saw this in an old movie and it seemed to work.
2006-10-06 17:58:11 · answer #5 · answered by tootsie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The old rolled up carpet thing still works fine - as long as there isn't blood dripping out of it, people tend to notice if you're carrying a carpet thats pissing blood everywhere.
All you need then is a decent sized pig farm, them buggers will eat anything and can polish off the average sized human in a couple of days.
2006-10-06 13:35:44 · answer #6 · answered by thecoldvoiceofreason 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dig a BIG hole, bury the body and create a pool of mercury just above the body. If anybody ever tries to dig up the body, they'll be killed themselves first by the mercury. It's a brilliant little plan that the Swedes or Russians (sorry I can't remember which) used to bury one of their rulers.
I don't know where you might get all the mercury from though...
2006-10-06 13:37:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hack it into two managable parts use the suitcases, take to a disused mineshaft drop both parts down there then take the suitcases to your local incinerator.
Nice clean cut (excuse the pun) way to get shut, dont keep it too long in your flat or its gonna start stinking.
Good luck mate
2006-10-06 21:13:05 · answer #8 · answered by bogstandard 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
baste it in a delicous beef gravy and throw it over the fence for the junkyard dog, or the animal shelter. You should pull the teeth out first, as we wouldnt want dental records to identify it.
Hey its halloween, you could probably prop it up on your front lawn and people will just assume its a really good scarecrow.
2006-10-09 10:01:27 · answer #9 · answered by Coco 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Prop the body against your neighbours door, ring his doorbell and then run away.
When he opens door and the cadaver falls into his hall, it instantly becomes his problem, and you are absolved of any responsibility.
Alternatively, for £10, the council will take away old fridges for you.
Stick him in a fridge, superglue the door shut, and then ring the council to arrange a collection.
2006-10-06 13:46:32 · answer #10 · answered by Swampy_Bogtrotter 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Medical students have to pay a fortune for skeletons. There you go, no questions asked, with an extra bit of medical practice on the side for them to practice as they eagerly help you carve up the remains.
Don't make a habit of it though.
2006-10-06 16:43:24 · answer #11 · answered by lordofthetarot 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋