What if your partner never talked of being together now; this relationship was against your morals, and you had been seeing him now for over ten years? I have been married twice and both marriages took away all my effort and I left the last one thinking that I would never love again? Guess I must have told myself this is just too much work and if they can't love me the way I am then they can forget it? What to do now? I would like to get married someday? But with this guy I'm with; (we don't live together) I feel it will never happen. No we don't have sex very often meaning maybe 4 times a year) I decided he was not going to get his cake and eat it too.
2006-10-06 13:26:09 · 11 answers · asked by Busy Lady 2010 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Everyone has their standards that they live by; else they're not happy! In regards to relationships; well it takes two to tango if you get me; and if it's parked by the roadside; what are you BOTH gonna do about it???!! If you both love each other; then isn't it worth some "investment" from you both to fix it to what is really "needed and wanted" Hope you get this sorted: Name it, want it, and GET IT!
2006-10-06 13:33:03 · answer #1 · answered by Buttercups 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A relationship with no love is just like existing for the sake of existing.
Instead of enjoying all the many facets of life and happiness it has to offer, you're silently watching a part of you die everyday. If you ever want a chance to find real happiness, you need to get yourself out of this relationship. If he hasn't found a way to love you after all these years of seeing one another, he's not ever going to. Instead of a future, you're wasting a truly amazing emotion on someone who doesn't even appreciate what you are giving them.
I know it's hard to give up something you treasure, but you'll never be able to find the type of relationship you desire if you're still waiting for someone else.
paaatches --Hurt now, or hurt later.
2006-10-06 20:39:37 · answer #2 · answered by paaatches 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to look at your relationship and what you are getting out of it. If it's not going anywhere at least make sure you're happy with the time you are spending now. Otherwise it may be time to start looking somewhere else. Love is out there and you can find someone who can appreciate you more.
2006-10-06 20:30:20 · answer #3 · answered by Adrianna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont see a problem besides having sex 4 times a year.
2006-10-06 20:32:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds just like my story. Two divorces. After the second divorce I had decided that I would be single with weekend companions for the rest of my life. I didn't want to go through all the relationship crap again. I was tired of working in a relationship while the other person didn't work at it at all.
I started dating a guy during my second divorce. I don't know if you could even call it dating. We would meet up at the bar, but when there he would always walk around talking to his friends, and hardly talk to me at all. Then there would be sex at his house afterwards.
During this time I also had lunch with a guy friend at work. We had known of each other for years due to some common family ties. We just really clicked. I wasn't even really thinking of anything more than friendship with him. I would confide in him about my life. Then one day he just came right out and said something along the lines of "You know if you ever get tired of "S" I would like to go out with you. Before this I didn't even know that he liked me in that way.
I tried to avoid falling into a relationship with him due to the family ties. As it turns out S just never suited my needs. S was just looking for a wham bam thank you mam girl whenever he was horny. I was looking for a companion who I could confide in about my daily life. Someone who could be my friend, and my lover. S and I just didn't have much in common.
So one day I decided that the guy friend at work with the family ties was worth taking a chance on. We started offically dating. When we stopped in for lunch at my mom's friend's restaurant where we usually ate we broke the news to my mother. Her reply was, "What took you so long? We have seen it in your eyes (his and my own) for weeks now." This was in March of 2005.
We now have a beautiful 5 month old baby girl (planned), and will be celebrating our one year anniversary next weekend. I couldn't ask for a better husband and father to my child. He is everything I had hoped for. We have our problems just like any couple, but he is willing to talk through them with me, instead of placing all the blame on me. He will also consider my own needs, and tries to meet them the best that he can to keep me happy.
So just keep this in mind. While I really did like S he just didn't suit my needs. I could have settled for S, and have been living comfortably. Instead I chose to go for the person with whom I thought had all the qualities I really wanted in a man. I wasn't disappointed, and I am happier now than I have ever been. I can't imagine life without my husband in it. I have absolutely no regrets.
2006-10-06 21:01:49 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like this is not worth your effort. Move on so you have a chance to find a guy who IS worth the trouble.
2006-10-06 20:29:53 · answer #6 · answered by from HJ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to move on. There's someone out there who will treat you right.You just have to keep trying. It's that or spend the rest of your life alone .That's not good for anybody.
2006-10-06 20:32:39 · answer #7 · answered by mopjky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop wasting your time. Go with your gut feeling; Its usually right.
2006-10-06 20:38:13 · answer #8 · answered by LuvMe2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. don't let it be friends with benefits
2006-10-06 20:28:31 · answer #9 · answered by Mo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol you were playing booty call or vice versa
2006-10-06 20:30:32 · answer #10 · answered by southernn_sky_2020 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋