i really, really want to die?

Question

nothing is right in my life. i have no family or friends. i have no money. i have been depressed for years. i was molested for almost a year when i was younger. how ironic is it that i have a degree in psychology but i cant help myself? typical, huh?

i just want to thank everyone. your answers were really helpful and uplifting. although, some were kindof harsh, but thank you for responding anyway

Answer 1

Not much of a question in here.

Everyone knows how they feel and believe what they want to. I am sure you have exhausted every outlet to get "better", but what I wonder is, are you counting on these missing family/friends/money, etc to make you happy? Or if not happy, to feel whole?

I know you are sad. I am very much like you except I have no degree, but years and years of torture. I treat every day like a drunk, "one day at a time"....every so often there are little surprises that make everything ok for just a little while.

If I knew you, I'd be your friend. We could be depressed together and drink or something. Just know that there are always others out there just like you (believe it or not) and that if you did die, the people that DO know you would be really really sad.

Good luck to you and maybe we'll meet someday and have a funny conversation.

Answer 2

Well, they say the cobbler's kids go unshod so you're probably right. As for dying, just wait a few decades and it will happen, no need to rush things.

Unless you are an orphan, you have family and just need to reconnect with them. Even an orphan probably has some friends from the home. How you reconnect depends on how you became separated. Call them up, or even better, just drop by and see what is new with them.

If you have no money then welcome to the club. Having too much would also depress you so try to get along with what you have. There is always an alternative way to enjoy the things you want. It may be necessary to reset or reschedule your goals.

I don't know what to say about depression, because the only time I thought I saw it in someone else it was cancer and now I am a widower. If you are depressed then you are the snakes belly in the wagon wheel rut. Just turn 90 degrees and follow the rut. Somewhere, that wagon wheel was on higher ground. Just keep on looking.

Can't say much about molestation either except that **** happens and people get away with it. Always has and probably always will. Accept that it happened, you were not at fault and somewhere along the line, the perpetrator will get it's much deserved come uppance. Notice the pronoun. I don't know the gender and it is usually reserved for inanimate and lower life forms.

Smile (put don't play the Charlie Chaplin song because it will make you sad). Picture a funeral with the casket being carried to the grave to the accompaniement of Bethoven's Turkish March from the Ruins of Athens. Go get the record from your local library and see what I mean.

Laugh and persevere. Good Luck

Answer 3

I don't care who you are or what degree you have,everybody needs help from another sometime in there life.Being a psychologist you of all should know that.And i'm assuming you have sought some kind of help knowing how important it is to your mental health.
Also,if you want to improve your situation you need to bring your self esteem up,and you probably know that as well.
Do something to make yourself feel better about you.Join a gym,and work for that perfect body.Take some class at a local college,where you can meet new people and learn about something you've always wanted to learn about.Get a dog or cat or whatever floats your boat.Animals have an incredible way of healing people both mentally,and physically.
Once you start feeling better about yourself.Try something out of your comfort zone.Something you've always wanted to do,but never had the chance or the nerve.
And more importantly,look around and see all the beauty in the world.Stop and smell the roses,and enjoy whats around you.
And listen to your psychologist if you have one,just cause you have a degree in that field does not mean you know everything or that you don't need help from someone else.

Hope this helps ,good luck to you friend

Answer 4

I really feel for you out there, and you know that you have helped to hurt others by what you have seen done to them in life so you feel bad about it, that is good, so maybe now you can stop!

Stop and change directions and give hope, not force or coercion. Don't agree to participate in that any more, just say NO.

You know that it is the people in this feild that are ruining other peoples lives and that is why you feel helpless right now. Your integrity and need to care about and actually give care is more overwhelming to you then your need to drive that nice car and wear that big suit.

Did the help you get if you did get any help, help you? Obviously not, right? I don't know how long they will let you keep this post up on here, but this is serious.

I will not push you into talking about what might be wrong, like some people seem to think is the best thing to do. I will back off and let you make your own choice, what ever is best for you and if you are for real and you want to talk to someone you can always email me off this questions list if you want to.

Pushing people into talking about stuff like this can just make it so much worse, it can push them over the edge when they really might not go over in the first place if they are just left alone.

I am here if or when you need me, I am not here if you don't. Ultimately this will be up to you! Not me I can not be with you 24/7 for the rest of your life even if they do push drugs on you to try to stop you. These drugs just increase this stuff they do not decrease it, and they cause brain damage.

I will hope that you choose to make the right decissions, and I do trust you as a human being to do that. Guess that is all I hae to say for now.

I hope that I am not wrong? I am your friend if you want me to be even if you don't know who I am.

Answer 5

I don't really know you, but I'm sure that you don't want to die. Talk to a doctor, and if you can't the only thing I can say is go around and get yourself a good friend. You should also attempt to try and recreate friendships you had when you were younger. It is worth living to help people also. If you are a psychologist, then it is worth living becuase you make people's lives worth living every day.

With a degree in Psychology you make so many people realize that their lives are worth living, and now there are people to make sure you realize that same thing.

Remember that your life is worth living, and you can overcome all of these problems becuase I can tell that you are a smart person that will really make an impact on a lot of peoples lives, even if you don't realize it yet.

Good Luck

Answer 6

I have been wondering why we force people to keep going when they want to die. You sound like you aren't sure. There are different types of suicidality. There are those who are on the fringe of acceptance; the people who suffer with pain and disease. There are those who know they want to die and those who's lives have become too much to bear and want to end suffering. Probably not news but you sound like you are in that latter category. Does it help to talk to someone about it? If we could be honest without fear that would be helpful. And in the act of staying silent the help we really need, a friend or just someone to talk to and empathize with us, is denied us by the very system that seeks to make us "better". Is it very cynical that I think there is nothing better?

Answer 7

I wish I knew what to say. Peace and blessings; do try to be gentle with yourself. As someone here said, death comes soon enough; your challenge right now is to live and do it with grace, dignity and whatever joy you can find. The world and its people are not perfect; this is nothing new, and even in a large, close group of family and friends, it is possible to be horribly lonely.

Try to seek outside yourself; as the old prayer goes, "grant that I may not seek so much to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love." It sounds like with your degree you have a very good grasp of that concept; I hope you will get some professional help for yourself and find peace and even joy in life.

Don't give up. Many (including myself) have been through what you have and have gone on to lead useful and reasonably happy lives. Reach out to others and try to forget yourself; that may sound harsh but it's truly the only path to peace; at least the only one with which I've ever found any success.

Peace and blessings to you.

Answer 8

Why live - I am drinking Listerine bc I have no alcohol in my place

Answer 9

Suicidal tenencies are in all of us. Only the strong survive though. ha a patient telling a psychologist that now that is Ironic. Grab up an application to the white coat society (nuthouse) and take a little vacation. I worked for me. really. I felt the same way once I commited MYSELF and got the help that I needed I got out and am well sort of fine now. Just because you have a degree does not mean that you are not going to feel the way that you do. you could have gotten a law degree and still feel the same way.

Answer 10

I think you should find a psychologist to talk to - and not yourself.

You really can't help it if you have no family.

Why do you not have any freinds? Have you tried going to church? The Starbucks? Myspace?

You have no money, is it because you have no job? Working in the mental health field can be challenging, have you thought about going back to school and change careers?

I'm sorry that you were molested. I think you really should talk to a therapist about it. It is so apparent that it is taking a toll on you now.

Please keep us posted, there is someone out there who would really really really be upset if you weren't around. You just gotta find them!

God Bless.