I need help trying to get my 3 year old to eat. Please?

Question

She is and always has been unwilling to try new food, and doesn't always eat the very few foods that she does like. Please don't say that it's just a phase as she has been like that from being a year old. I have tried the encouragement, bribery, rewards, ignoring, pretending, and now I am shouting at her as I am that frustrated and that isn't doing either of us any good. What can I do? Should I take her to the GP? She is otherwise a good child and healthy.

Answer 1

You may not want to hear this, but it will pass. She will eat when she is hungry.

Answer 2

Don't get upset. I know it's frustrating, I have a 13 year old that to this day won't eat anything red, green or orange. If you look at her plate when she returns from a buffet,
all earth tones.

Try this...let her try new foods before you're ready to serve at the table. Assure her that if she just tries a bite now and doesn't like it you won't put any on her plate. That'll take the pressure off her and you won't have a battle at the table. I always offered 2 choices at dinner-take it or leave it. If she's hungry enough, she'll eat at least a few bites. Otherwise, nothing else until the next meal. Missing one meal will not cause irreparable damage, physical or emotional!

If you're worried about nutrition, try balancing the food chart over the week rather than day by day which just isn't possible with a fussy eater. Offer healthy snacks rather than junk. I keep a bag of sweet baby carrots in the fridge and they just nibble at will.
Just remember that no child has ever suffered malnutrition in the midst of plenty. The food is there. If she's hungry, she'll eat! Good luck!

Answer 3

And what is you GP gonna do about the situation? Sweet FA. Unless he knows of a pill that will make ther eat and then he might just remember it because their is some incentive for him to do so.
Think in carbohydrate, protein and fats. Don't forget about vitamins, minerals and trace element. As long as she gets variety i would not worry too much beyond the basics of what the food is doing (giving her energy to grow). It has to provide all of the above.
If she goes to nursery then make an effort with making her a nice potato/rice/pasta with veg and meat. Nursery is the only place where my 3-year old daughter will eat ALL her lunch and others are like that too i have been told by nursery staff.
I also have a friend with a 6-year old that can be of some help sometimes (mine refused custard until one day her friend tried it reluctantly and found out she really liked it. Mine has a love affair with custard now.
Patience ... and common sense should prevail. Two things most GP's are very short on ...

Answer 4

Hi.....

You've said she is a healthy child...... why then the concern? She is only 3 years old.... when she's hungry she'll eat. Don't allow any rubbish foods and if you think she needs any supplements just add a few drops of tonic or multivitamin syrup to her favourite drink.

Giving her mixed messages can give her a complex about food so be consistant in your approach but definitely don't shout at her. It may lead to problems like anorexia or bulimia when shes older.

Don't give up on trying new foods.... if it's always being offered she'll try it one day. Mind you we all hate eating particular foods.. should a child be any different?

Just a point to add, she's at the age where she is expressing her independence, give her that chance to show she's in control of her own eating.... as long as you're always offering nutritious food. Maybe try giving her a choice of two different meals... if she chooses nothing.... she goes without. Don't allow her any food in the meantime... ask again an hour later.....she'll soon choose to eat when she's hungry.

Also just to add i read an article on a young man who had only ever ate jam sandwiches. By his late teens he was over 6ft tall and had no health problems.

If she starts to loose weight or seems lethargic then take her to the doctors.....

Good luck...and hope it helps...

Answer 5

Sounds cruel, but...Just put the vegetable/new food out. Tell your daughter after she takes however many bites (5 or so?) of the new food, she can have the rest of dinner. If she won't try it after half an hour, just cheerfully wrap it up, put it away, and tell her dinner's over. Don't make a big fuss. If she throws a fit, ignore it. The next morning, repeat, with the same food.
My mom (and her mom before that) did this. We had a half hour. If we didn't eat it, we didn't get dinner. And, danged if those vegetables (she had to do this with veggies) didn't show up before breakfast the next morning. And, if necessary, at lunch and dinner. We learned very quickly that refusing our vegetables would only end up in us being very hungry before we eventually ate those vegetables. (And your daughter won't die from missing a meal or two, and she won't die from eating 5 bites of a food she doesn't like). Being savvy young children, we also quickly learned that our refusal of a particularly reviled vegetable would hold more water if we ate most of the other ones.
To this day, I eat every vegetable except raw tomatoes.
Quite frankly, your daugher knows she's winning. And it's being reinforced that if she carries on long enough, she'll get his way. I work as a nanny (worked as an elementary school teacher before that), and I can tell you that if a kid knows s/he can get his way by "performing" loudly and long enough, s/he will do it for as long as it takes. They're smart enough to know their audience.
Your daughter sounds smart...she's sort of playing you right now. But, if you can make her think she has some control over the issue (ie. after 5 bites of the new food she can stop), you might have more success. You might also want to put two new foods out in front of her and let her choose which one she will eat that day.
I also suggest you don't feed her at any other time other than regularly scheduled snacks and meals, and no beverages other than water between meals. Be careful that she's not filling up on juice or milk before eating her meal.
PS...i would only advocate this if your child is 3 or older. Younger kids sometimes don't have a long enough memory to make the connection.

Answer 6

My child has the same exact problem. She is 5 and has been like this since she was also 3 going on 4. she likes what we make her but she hardly eats or it takes her like 1-2 hours literally to eat one meal. We have also gotten to the point where we yell at her and have fussing fights just to get her to eat her food. We have tried bribes also but nothing seemed to work. The teacher has even complained about how long it takes her to eat. The past 2 weeks she has been very good at eating. What has worked for me is to tell her that she is racing with me in an eating contest and she will shove her face.lol dont let your child watch t.v while eating. leave the table and have them sit there til done eating. Do not give into sweets and so forth. Also do not give your child anything to drink before or while eating, young children get full off of water,juice or milk alone and then by the time they want to eat they are full off of fluids *this is what happened to mine* now i give her whatever she wants to drink AFTER she eats, works in school too. If people tell u to give her different foods, dont do it. That is just spoiling your child and giving in to her way *not good* Try these techniques and im sure they will help u like they helped me. Good Luck! =)

Answer 7

Children need a small amount of food to keep them going, their stomachs are only small. Try not to be anxious, she is good and healthy. I was worried about my son when he went through this, I also tried everything to no avail so I stopped making meals for him altogether and took the stress away from us both!! I played games with food, I would peel an orange or banana and leave it on the coffee table and occasionally take a piece, never offering any to my son, he would watch me whilst he was getting on with playing, eventually I would find the rest eaten and I would say that the 'mouse' had been and eaten mummies banana!!! I could leave small amounts of pasta, cheese, grapes etc, occasionally chips, fishfingers etc. all got eaten. Even breakfast cereal and milk in a cup, this took the stress out of eating and made it fun, it didn't matter to me that we never sat at the table, I knew he was eating and that was enough for me, as we progressed I moved the food to the 'big' table and made a point of saying I had moved it so the 'mouse' couldn't reach it, yes, it got eaten and through play and imagination we got through a difficult patch. My son is 17 now and big and strong, he does remember the 'mouse' food and plays it with his little nephew who is two and it works with him!! I think it's important not to let the child see us worry, they can play on this, keep snacks away, you are the adult and are responsible for what your child puts in their mouth, if you give snacks then don't expect them to try other different foods. Good luck and have fun xx

Answer 8

I had a similar problem with my first daughter. I know it's dead tough to not get frustrated because you are worried and she is challenging. I tried all the things you have done and eventually i did the following..... I took her to a book shop and we looked for children's cookery books together. She chose two of them , over the course of the next few weeks i had her sitting on the kitchen side or standing on a chair beside me and i let her help me with all the cooking and preparing of meals. Eventually she started picking at foods whilst we were cooking and eating what she had helped to cook. After dinner i would let her wipe up all the stuff like plastic cups and bowls etc. She loved it . She is now 20 in December and the only food she doesn't like are chocolate cake and pea's . Good luck hunni . :-)

Answer 9

My son is now 9 and eats a healthy, varied diet. However, between the ages of 2 and 7, he was a nightmare. In the end, we decided to stop making a fuss and let him eat the few limited foods he wanted. He remained a healthy weight and suffered no ill effects. Eventually, he started getting curious about other foods and became more willing to try them.

I appreciate how frustrating it is to be told to remain patient, but really, there is nothing else you can do. Try to relax and take the focus off the food. She'll come round.

Good luck!!

Answer 10

She will be aware that you're worried. Perhaps you could try giving her small meals on a larger plate, to make them seem smaller still. If she's used to a pudding, do give it to her with praise, if she has made a real effort with her dinner. If she hasn't, don't give her a pudding, but also don't make a big deal out of her not eating. Snacks between meals should be also stopped, while she's not eating a main meal, unless the snacks are healthy, like carrot sticks apple etc. If you get worried see your GP. Good luck

Answer 11

If she is healthy and gaining weight in the way that she should, then you are obviously doing something right.

Very few children will starve themselves - and if she wasn't getting enough to eat, it would show. Take her to the GP who can give her a quick checkover to put your mind at rest - and then try not to let the issue take over your life.

It's hard for us Mum's - one of the most important things we do for our kids is to make sure they eat properly - and it's very frustrating if we can't achieve that for any reason. She will grow out of it, but try not to make mealtimes a battleground.

In a nutshell, I would suggest ignoring the situation when she doesn't eat - and praising her like mad when she does.